User:Throat Wolf/Outfoxed Chapter 4
 | Vore/Neko Project Campus story universe |
 | This story contains adult content. |
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{{#ifeq: User |User| Outfoxed (Chapter 4) | Outfoxed (Chapter 4)}}[[Title::{{#ifeq: User |User| Outfoxed (Chapter 4) | Outfoxed (Chapter 4)}}| ]]
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Authors: {{#ifeq: User |User| Throat Wolf | Throat Wolf}} |
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}} {{#if:| — see [[:Category:{{{category}}}|other works by this author]]}}
 | Outfoxed (Chapter 4) |
| Author: | {{#if:throatwolf@gmail.com|Throat Wolf|Throat Wolf}} |
| Website: | http://aryion.com/g3/user/Throat_Wolf |
| Genre: | vorarephilia |
| Series: | Outfoxed {{#if:4|(#4)}} |
| Previous: | Chapter 3 |
| Next: | Chapter 5 |
| Setting/Universe: | Vore/Neko Project Campus |
I
{{#if:|}}| [[Image:{{{icon}}}|30px|center|Icon]] | This is a vorarephilia (vore) story, in which people get eaten for erotic purposes. Unlike many vorarephila stories, my flavor of vore is entirely non-lethal; I'm not interested in snuff. However, if vore is not your thing, you probably will not enjoy this regardless. |
an opened his eyes the next morning to feel something warm and fuzzy against his back. He glanced over his shoulder…yep. There was a seven-tailed non-anthropomorphic fox curled up in the bed with him. It chirred sleepily at his movement, licking its lips and yawning without opening its eyes. Her eyes, Ian reminded himself. Yep…still not a dream.
“You’re incorrigible, you know that?” he asked rhetorically.
“Well, it’s your fault for ‘incorriging’ me,” Janice replied sleepily. “Besides, I’d think you’d enjoy waking up in bed with a beautiful woman.”
“It might help if you actually were a beautiful woman at the time,” Ian said, reaching down to the floor to rummage for his jeans.
“Details, details.”
Ian found the pants, sat up, and pulled them on under the covers. Then he got up and went to look for a shirt. Janice shifted into her halfway-human form long enough to pull the covers over herself again, then went back to fox.
Shirt found, Ian went into the bathroom and started running water to shave. This, inevitably, involved him cursing loudly after having cut himself while attempting to do so. The vintage Gillette could be a bit of a pain at times, but he was fond of it, as it was a gift from his father, who got it from his father.
Janice poked the tip of her muzzle out from under the blankets. “You know, as your own personal kitsune, I could do that for you…”
“I wouldn’t want to trouble you, and I also get nervous when anyone else has a razor near places I’d rather they not be,” he said, “Not that I don’t trust you, but I’ve always been nervous around sharp things since this one time when I was a kid and I got cut really badly.” He shuddered as the memory came to the fore of his mind.
“It seems hard to believe I might cause more damage than you’re doing yourself. Are you sure you’ve got enough little bits of toilet paper in the house?”
“Heh, I may be a bit loud about it, but I’m just a bit squeamish, nothing much in the way of real damage. It’s a safety razor after all.” He chuckled as he finished up. “Just a little grabby at times.”
Janice yawned, and as her furry half-fox form threw off the covers. “Argh, I can’t sleep with you performing the Death of a Thousand Shaving Cuts.” She marched into the bathroom, where Ian was just rinsing the last of the shaving lather off of his face.
“A bit late to do anything about it now, I’m afraid.” he quipped, and unscrewed the handle to open the panel on the head so the double-edged razor blade could drop out. He carefully picked it up by the flats and pushed it into the slot cut into the back of his medicine cabinet.
“I can at least keep you from leaving a trail of blood. Come here.” She stood on tiptoe to reach up and start licking his face.
Ian giggled a little bit at the treatment. “That tickles!”
Janice stood back to admire her handiwork. All the razor cuts had sealed up as if they’d never been made. “There we are! Some people say I’ve got a caustic tongue, but actually it’s just styptic.”
“I don’t know, you’ve never seemed all that sharp-tongued to me. And with the shaving soap, that can’t have tasted all that good,” he said, as he made a bit of a face.
“I’ve had worse, and that’s no lye.” Janice winked.
“Heh. Just so long as you don’t end up developing a taste for my blood. I’m a fan of kitsune, not vampires,” he quipped, winking conspiratiorially.
Janice sniffed. “Vampires are poseurs. Blood is messy and stains. Kitsune prefer to cut out the middleman—as you should already know.”
“Heh, yeah, I do remember reading something about kitsune living on spirit-energy,” he said with a nod. “Always thought that bit was a myth, to be honest… Granted, up until recently…” he trailed off.
Janice giggled. “Yes, imagine that.” She leaned in to kiss him on the lips with the tip of her muzzle. “So what’s the plan for today?”
He winked at the vulpine. “Well, for today, I’m afraid I’m going to have to go to work. There’s this annoying thing called rent, if it doesn’t get paid, they can kick us out.”
“Awww. Well, maybe I could come to work with you?”
“Well, that would be nice, but you might find it just a little boring, I’m working as a courier at the moment, so it’s not exactly riveting… Or comfortable, for that matter,” he replied, shrugging.
“Aww, I’m just sure I could make your job more…interesting.” Janice winked.
“Oh, I’m sure you could,” he chuckled, “The trick would be fitting you on the bicycle.”
Janice giggled. “I’m a shapechanger, silly. I could dance on the head of a pin with nine hundred ninety nine other angels.” She considered. “Of course, it might have to be a pretty large pin.”
“Heh, well, considering I don’t have a pin, you may just have to not invite your friends.”
Janice laughed. “Good one. All right, fair enough, if you’d rather I not complicate your workday, I’ll find other ways to amuse myself ‘til you’re done.”
“You can come along if you like. We’ll just have to figure out how to let you ride along unconspicuously,” Ian said with a shrug, and opened his hall closet to retrieve his Brompton bike.
“Got a knapsack?”
“Will this work?” he asked, as he affixed a set of panniers to the folding bike.
Janice came over to inspect them. “Mmmm…maybe!” She opened one of them, held onto the edge with the other hand, then shrank down into a smaller version of her plushie-toy form. She pulled herself into the saddlebag and let the flap fall over on top of her. “Little cramped, but I think I can deal with it!”
“Good. I could put a handlebar bag on, but I like to keep as much weight off the front as possible,” he said as he started wheeling the bike out, and began the awkward task of carrying it down the stairs.
“Aww, but then we could reenact E.T.!”
“Heh, that could happen, but we could also end up out of control,” he said as he set the bike back down. “Now hold on.” He took off, initially riding rather leisurely as he made his way toward the dispatch office.
“Hey, wait a minute! What are you saying about my weight?”
“I really do need to think more carefully about what I say around you, don’t I?” he said with a slight blush. “Of course, it just occurred to me, I’m riding around on a bicycle talking to a plush doll, that might look a little suspicious.”
A plushie paw reached out of the saddlebag with something in its hand. “Then take this!”
He swept his hand down to grab it, and quickly glanced down at what he had grabbed, curious. “A Bluetooth earpiece?”
“Redtails, actually, but close enough!” She giggled. “Now you’re obviously not talking to your plushie toy!”
“No, just being a total douchebag. Oh well,” he laughed.
“But not a crazy one!”
“An excellent point.” He fitted it to his ear. A few minutes later, he swept into dispatch and clocked in, then headed for his first call. It was halfway across town, so he’d have to hustle.
Then a voice in his ear said, “Take the next left!”
Ian needed little in the way of encouragement, and cut quite the tight left off of the bike lane, onto a path into what seemed to be a park that he didn’t remember being there before. Before he was more than a few hundred feet along it, he knew something strange was going on. Trees—old trees—blocked out the sun as far as he could see, lianas of vines hung to either side yet somehow never quite in the way of the path, and the path was now a dirt track.
“I’m gonna have to start having you come along to work more often. Magic?” he asked.
“Eyes on the road!” the voice chided. A few hundred feet further on, the trees thinned out, and the path ended on a sidewalk he recognized as just around the corner from his destination. When he looked back, there was nothing but an alley behind him.
“Now that’s what I call a shortcut!” he exclaimed as he pulled his bike around to the service entrance. “I’ll be back in a minute, I assume you won’t let anyone walk off with you and the bike?”
“Well, that depends on whether they buy me a kohi and how cute they are!”
“Ha-ha, very funny. I’ll be back momentarily,” he said, and dashed off to make the pickup.
“…and, of course, on whether you remember to directly order me not to let someone walk off with the bike,” Janice giggled to herself, though didn’t say it into his earpiece. Let him figure it out on his own. As it turned out, nobody tried to walk off with the bike. Janice probably wouldn’t have let him anyway, even without direct orders. Probably.
The rest of the morning was uneventful. All the deliveries were close enough that a kitsune shortcut was unnecessary, but having Janice in his pannier and her voice in his ear kept Ian more entertained than any iPod audiobook ever had. And all it took was a four-pack of Starbucks Doubleshots dropped in the pannier with her to keep her happy. (When he opened the saddlebags later, he found the empties in the one across the bike from her, and when he asked her how she did that she just giggled.)
It was approaching time for Ian’s lunchbreak when he got a call on his real cellphone to come by the office. “Huh. Bert sounded worried about something, but he wouldn’t say what,” Ian remarked. “Wonder what that’s about.”
“Oh, it’s probably nothing,” Janice said airily. “Well, let’s go. Sooner we get there, sooner you can buy me kohi for lunch.”
“What about all those Doubleshots you just had?”
“Appetizers!”
“Figures.”
When Ian pulled into the parking lot at dispatch, he was puzzled to see an unmarked police car waiting there. As he pulled his helmet off and stepped into the office, an older man in the stereotypical trenchcoat and fedora of the police detective got up out of the office chair. “Detective Abel. You must be Ian May?”
“Ian May, at your service. Nice hat, by the way,” he said, extending a hand to shake.
The detective took his hand in a firm grip. “Thanks. Found it at the Salvation Army.” He sat back down, pulling out a PDA. “I just needed to ask you a few questions. You’re not under suspicion of anything, it’s just a standard procedure.”
“Can I ask what this is about?” he asked, frowning a bit.
Abel nodded. “Yesterday, Angela Leese and Brad Walcott disappeared from Leese’s apartment. It looks like Leese was the last to see Walcott before he vanished, but you were the last to see Leese, and we were just following up to see if she said anything to you that might have shed some light on where she was going.”
Ian looked genuinely surprised. “No, she hadn’t said anything about leaving, last time we saw each other she was borrowing some money from me…”
“Right.” Abel tapped the PDA and entered some notes. “Now from what Leese’s sister told me, you and Angela had been going steady…but does it surprise you to know she was apparently seing Walcott behind your back?”
“Honestly? Not really. I’m… well, let’s just say I haven’t been the most satisfying boyfriend as of late…” he said, blushing a little.
Abel nodded. “It looks as though they decided to run off together…but the funny thing is, if they did they didn’t take Walcott’s car, and Leese’s is in the shop with four slashed tires.”
“Huh. That must be why she needed the money. Have you canvassed the airports and bus terminals and rail stations? I mean, they do that on TV all the time…” he said.
Abel shrugged. “It’s not that urgent. Foul play is not suspected at this point. Anyway, thanks for your time. I expect we’ll probably find them together somewhere within a few days. Maybe they ran off to Vegas to get married. But whatever they did, they didn’t tell their families, and they’re worried about it. If you hear anything, let me know, all right? Here’s my card.”
“Trust me, I’ll let you know if I hear anything… I wouldn’t want her family to be worried, they’re good people.” he said with a shrug.
“Thanks.” Abel got up, and offered his hand again. “See you later, kid.”
“See ya.” he said, and shook his hand goodbye, bowing slightly as well.
A few minutes later, Ian was sitting at a patio table in an open-air cafe, with a red-headed young lady in the seat across from him. “Say, this is a pretty nice place,” Janice said. “I’ll bet they make good coffee.”
“Yeah, they do.” he said with a nod. “Care to explain what that was all about?”
“Well, usually it’s about being a pronoun that stands in for a more specific word,” Janice said.
“You know what I mean. I wasn’t the last person to see her, you were.”
“Well, that depends on whether you consider me a ‘person.’ Strictly speaking, by the legal definition of the word—”
“You know, I can put two and two together. I may be human but I’m not a dimwit,” Ian said.
Janice nodded. “I’ll bet you don’t even need a calculator. Now I remember back in Nippon, I knew a fellow who needed an abacus to count his toes…”
“You know, being evasive is only going to go so far. Eventually I am going to make it an order if I have to, although I really don’t want to have to…”
She smiled, showing her dimples. “What kind of kitsune would I be if I gave you a straight answer right away?”
“Point,” he said with a chuckle. “Should we get that coffee to go?”
“I’m comfortable here. We can make up the time with another trip through my realm.” She winked. “I know what you are going to ask. So, trust me. There is no way that their disappearance can ever be traced to you.”
“I’m more concerned with the fact that they disappeared at all. I may have been upset with them, but I didn’t exactly want them hurt.”
“You asked me to make sure they could never bother you again. So I did. End of story.”
“Definitely going to have to think more carefully about what I say,” he sighed.
She reached across the table to pat his hand. “Don’t worry. I didn’t hurt them. They’re in a very safe place right now, and I can retrieve them. But I think that it should wait until they have had sufficient time to learn their lesson.”
“Hm, there’s that kitsune sense of morality,” he said, with a mild chuckle. “I suppose I should have anticipated it.”
“Mmm-hmm. Perhaps someday, if you’re very very nice to me, I will even tell you where they are.” Janice leaned back in her chair, pushing it onto two legs.
“Careful there, you might fall…and I sound like my mother.” he sighed, dropping his head into his hands.
Janice giggled. “No, I’ll only fall if I want to, but thank you for caring!”
A waitress came by with their orders, pausing to stare disapprovingly at Janice who affected not to notice.
“Thank you.” Ian said, and made with the payment as he began to sip at his own beverage, not doubting for a moment that her coffee would be gone long before his tea. When he looked up again, Janice was balancing on one foot on the back of the chair, which was still balanced on two legs, and nonchalantly sipping her coffee.
“You know, you’re probably attracting just a bit of attention like that…” he sighed, his growing frustration becoming evident.
“Oh, don’t worry! Everybody else sees me sedately sitting down. Illusion, remember?” Janice tossed the coffee cup straight up in the air, flipped to a handstand on the chair back, then somersaulted forward into a seated position, putting out a hand to catch the cup as it fell and not spilling a drop.
“Yeah, I forgot, sorry. Am I boring you?” he asked, just a little bit snarky.
“Noooo, never!” Janice batted her eyes at him. “I find you endlessly fascinating in how you react to my antics!”
He chuckled a bit, and smiled. “Well, I suppose that would make a bit of your behavior make a bit more sense…”
Janice put on a worried expression. “Oh, no, I’m making sense? I must not be doing something right!”
“That is, unless you’re trying to lull me into a false sense of security by making things seem like they make sense,” he said, sticking out his tongue at her briefly. “Anyway, after work today we have to go down to the DMV. I need to renew the tags on my car. I may not drive it much, but when I need it, I need it.”
Janice smirked, finishing her coffee. “I’ll look forward to it.”
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Janice blinked. “Now isn’t that a hell of a thing to look forward to?”
“Hey, it’s a classic!”
“It’s…tiny.”
“Well, I’ve only ever had me to drive around in it…”
“It’s…plastic.”
“Great fuel economy.”
“I’ll bet. Where do you stick the wind-up key?” Janice asked.
“I’ll have you know that the Tata Nano is a great little car!” Ian insisted. “Motoring at its purest. It’s essence of car!”
“Yeah, ‘cuz that’s all that was left after the rest of the car boiled out of the pot,” Janice sniffed. “Ah, who am I kidding. I’m a fox. Most of my interaction with cars has been trying not to get run over by one when I cross the street. At least this one’s kinda cute.”
“Heh, why do you think I bought it in the first place?” he said, opening the passenger door for Janice before getting in the driver’s seat himself.
“First and foremost? Because it was el cheapo.” Janice grinned. “But at least it’s not a Yugo.”
“Now, the Yugo really got a bad rep! It was a perfectly reliable car so long as you performed the regular maintenance!” he said, before cranking the tiny two-cylinder engine over and heading for the DMV.
“I thought they exploded if you crashed into them wrong,” Janice said.
“No, that was the Ford Pinto,” the veritable automotive encyclopedia said with a smirk. “And that was only for two years, and only on the hatchback, the wagon never had the problem.”
“Oh, of course.” Janice rolled her eyes as Ian went into a lengthy lecture about the technical aspects of cars that were unsafe at any speed. It was all rather boring, though she did perk up a little when he got to the part about how the auto industry tried to destroy Ralph Nader’s credibility by throwing prostitutes at him.
Of course, the DMV was as boring and inefficient as usual when they arrived, so they had to stand in line. “Why couldn’t they just let me put it on my credit card and mail me the bloody thing?” he sighed.
“Because that would have made sense,” Janice explained perfectly reasonably. “No bureaucracy ever survived by doing sensible things. The sensible thing would be to put themselves out of business.”
“Point,” he sighed. “Don’t know why they even bother to make you keep updating the physical tags anymore now that they have those transponders in your car…”
“So cops can still eyeball the tags by color when their PDAs are on the blink,” Janice said. “Which, given most cop shops’ budgets, is pretty often.”
“Yeah, I can see that being the case. Though with some of the stuff that’s been going around lately, I’m surprised that the cops are even still in business,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“You mean the whole ‘vore’ thing you hear about sometimes?” Janice asked, eyes sparkling. “Spoooooky stories about people who can come up and eat’cha with impunity as long as they fill out their paperwork?”
“Yep. Sad thing is, I don’t doubt it, certainly wouldn’t be the first bit of rights-trampling that the government’s done as of late.”
“You mean like how those fuzzy cat people aren’t ‘people’ people but some lesser class of subhuman people who can be kept as pets?” Janice asked. “Boy, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about someone keeping me as a pet…”
Ian cringed. “Touché.” He paused, mentally rewinding the conversation. “Wait a minute…what paperwork?”
“Oh, you know. Forms filed in triplicate about the identity of the person you just et so that the secret police can take care of cleaning up his disappearance, quashing any missing persons cases so the police can turn their attention to solvable crimes, and so on. Of course, a lot of vores don’t bother with it, so there’s always a lot more missing people than you can solve these days.”
Ian stared at her. “And you would know this…how?”
“I audited a course in Basic Vorology at the university. Seemed the wise thing to do.”
“Right…” he said. “And I probably should have anticipated that.” He sighed. “Of course, foxes are predators, so it makes sense.”
Janice leaned in close. “What do you think?” she whispered. “Would you like to know what it feels like? I’ll bet you’d be very tasty…” Then, since she was close to him anyway, she kissed him on the lips. She was not one to miss an opportunity.
Ian could feel the blush rising in his cheeks as a shiver went up his spine. He returned the kiss, happily, but couldn’t help but respond, “That doesn’t sound all that good for my health.”
“Oh, but what a way to go.” Janice winked.
“Well, were I to go any time soon, it doesn’t sound like a bad way to go, I will admit.”
Janice giggled. “And if you decided to go that way, you would be going sometime soon, so it’s a tautology!”
“Heh. I suppose I do at least owe you dinner after all that I’ve put you through,” he said with a chuckle, and then perked up a bit as his number was called. “Rather it wasn’t me, though. Be right back.” He headed up to the window, where a long, protracted wade through bureaucratic red tape ensued, and he returned after fifteen minutes without a new license plate.
“Apparently I didn’t file the proper forms,” Ian said. “Something about proper classification of registration under some new law.”
“Mmm.” Janice got up. “Hand me that paperwork, and let me have a go.”
Ian needed little incentive, and handed the paperwork over. Likely, the problem was the scrawl that passed for his handwriting. Janice took it, and marched up to the window, shouldering aside the next person in line. Oddly, instead of being offended, that person just stood there staring at the wall. Nobody else seemed to notice anything strange going on.
Janice conversed in low tones with the clerk behind the counter. She waved her hands a couple of times, and Ian could have sworn at one point he distinctly heard the phrase “not the droids you’re looking for.” A few minutes later, she came back with a bright and shiny new plate and tag. The clerk sat staring off into space with a vacant expression, just like the person Janice had shouldered aside.
“Come on,” Janice said. “Best to be gone before they wake up, or they might remember us.”
Ian didn’t need to hear any more, exiting rapidly, and heading back to where he’d parked the car. A quick few seconds with a wrench and the plate was changed over.
Janice grinned. “Excellent. Now what’s for dinner?”
“Preferably not me?” he replied with a slightly nervous grin.
“Oh, of course not. You’re more of a dessert.” She winked.
“Hmm…well, I figured tonight I would cook. I don’t think you’ve ever had my cooking before,” he said.
“Oho? This I’ve got to see.”
It turned out to be quite a show, with fireworks and everything. He managed to set at least one pan on fire with a careless spill, but eventually produced some stir-fry that looked quite palatable. Janice ate with gusto, and if she shot the occasional sly look at Ian (accompanied by the licking of lips), she didn’t bring it up again after the meal.
At Janice’s suggestion, they spent the rest of the evening watching a Kurosawa DVD so Janice could laugh whenever there was a mistranslation in the subtitles. Then it was bedtime, and Janice again curled up on the sofa as Ian crashed out on his bed.
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Sometime in the night, Ian felt warmth against his back, and sleepily opened his eyes and turned his head to see an attractive red-haired woman lying against him. He smiled, and closed his eyes again.
| Preceded by: Chapter 3 |
Outfoxed{{#if:| (First: {{{first}}})}} |
Succeeded by: Chapter 5 |