IMPORTANT
A day shy of a week ago Robotech Master was out on his e-bike when an SUV struck him and drove off. According to the most recent news available, he passed away from his injuries at around 2:00 this morning. I have kept some news up on his user page and, at this point, ask that anyone wishing to leave messages or tributes do so on either his talk page or another page that can be used for such things. His account here and all of the stories he has gifted the Shifti community with will be preserved in memoriam, as we also did for Morgan.

User:Michael Bard/The Raccoon Morph Body Biosuit (tm)(c)

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The Raccoon Morph Body Biosuit ™©

Author: Michael Bard
M  U  S  F  A  H            E  N  T  E  R  P  R  I  S  E  S
    (We're not trying to take over the world - really!)

It's the RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT! ™©!

Yes, with the new patented MUSFAH technology, you can transform your cold, naked human form into a mansized RACCOON MORPH!

See in the dark! Sneak through the forest and scare the kids! Learn to like garbage![1]

Yes, all this is possible with the RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT!™©

Available now at a special low, low introductory price ONLY to TSA-LIST MEMBERS. The RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT™© is a complete genetically engineered biological support system that can be taken on and off like clothing![2] The suit provides full control, and full sensory input via MUSFAH ENTERPRISES patented Artificial Bio Neural Control Interface™©[3]

Additional enhancements available! The RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT™© is fully compatible with other MUSFAH ENTERPRISES products including, but not limited to, the RACCOON FLYING TAIL™©, AQUATIC TAIL™©, and UNIVERSAL GILLS™©.

Satisfied customers include the president of Nintendo®, who received a FREE VERSION of both the RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT™© and the RACCOON FLYING TAIL™© as proof that there has been no copyright infringement. MUSFAH ENTERPRISES is a FULLY LAW ABIDING MULTI-NATIONAL ARTIFICIAL CORPORATION.

Remember, this introductory offer is available for a LIMITED TIME ONLY! Don't be the last TSA member to enter to wonderful world of RACOON MORPHHOOD!

  1. MUSFAH ENTERPRISES takes no responsibility for any diseases, or social disadvantages gained from eating garbage.
  2. No warranty is offered or implied as to mental changes due to morphological body changes. Wearers should be aware that as the RACCOON-MORPH BODY BIOSUIT™© is a living organism, it will eventually fully merge with the wearer making removal impossible. The time for the full merger varies from individual to individual, but averages 365 days.
  3. The artificial bio neural control network requires 1-2 weeks to fully grow and integrate with the individual. Training MPEG audio files are provided which should be played whilst the individual sleeps to aid in the growth and integration of the control system. Rumours that these files brainwash individuals into aiding MUSFAH's plan to take over the world are COMPLETELY FALSE. The same goes for rumours that the artificial bio neural control network includes a remote override feature that allows MUSFAH to remotely control the implated individual. THESE ARE COMPLETELY FALSE!

All rights reserved. No warranties are made, implied or otherwise. Raccoon morphs use this product at their own risk. All liability and injury is the responsibility of the Raccoon morph. It is the responsibility of the Raccoon morph to license him or herself with the local air control authorities and obey all applicable laws.

Have a nice day.