Talk:Three Minds

This is what I hope is the beginning of a new story arc. I have been thinking about this story since I have read every story in the setting. I hope it fits and people like it. I will continue if people find it interesting.

This story is being written in one giant inspirational burst over the past few days. Please look over grammatical, spelling, and other errors. I am posting it unedited. Also to those authors whose characters are included in the story please forgive me for not asking permission to use them. Please post any comments, questions, or concerns. Thanks and enjoy! JoharaGuardian 11:31, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Interesting story. Well presented. Your protagonist is so powerful, it will be difficult to find a suitable anagonist. --Alveric 15:57, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

Sadly I haven't even gotten to a good antagonist yet. I am mainly getting a bunch of ideas out that have been floating in my head for years and Xanadu gives me a good spring board for them. I will likely to try and come up with situations that require subtly not brute force. JoharaGuardian 16:00, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure the rules say pretty clearly that while finding a reverse is perfectly possible, it SHOULD NOT be readily available and/or publicly accessible, but something the victim has to WORK FOR to achieve. Also, I hate to say this dude. But your character comes across like a Mary Sue. And we've seen some of those in the Xanadu verse already. Even his mental changes feels like how a Mary Sue would do so, without losing ANYTHING from any three identities, only gain gain gain. It's overwhelmingly clear how excited and charged up you are about your character, given how you dedicated an entire entry page just to the details of the costume character's story verse self. But you've got to realize that a story is based on struggle, or conflict, or charged emotions or thrills. While I enjoyed the details of leading up to the transformation, I can't help but feel that once that was done the story felt like 'I am awesome' post over and over. I can appreciate that, it's what every writer wants in any story setting they march into: set right what is wrong and stake out their claim, I should know, I'll confess I've done MUCH the same with some of my stuff. But remember what killed 'No More Fakes' verse was the stories becoming too interconnected. When this series was made, this was taken into account when the story was set up. In short, your prolificness is to be admired and aspired to, your love of detail mirrors my own like a twin, but your character adapts to being three persona merged into one identity way too easily, and doesn't seem to know -meaningful- failure or have any -meaningful short comings. I guess given his origin that's bound to happen, being the spawn of an ideal persona, but it doesn't make for a fun story. And given their similar attitudes and natures, I'm surprised he hasn't run into godlike techno super-genie GNE at any point here. Please take what I say with maturity and with decency. This is not intended as a personal attack nor an attack on your value as a writer. This is intended to HELP you mature and evolve as a writer NOT discourage you from writing.

--Alex Warlorn --Alex Warlorn 00:47, 19 May 2011 (UTC)

Very good advice. I have been thinking myself that I have been borrowing from other stories too much. Particularly the Dr.Quest appearances. I am not sure how many Xanadu stories he appears in now. GNE and Quest Moments for sure. It is almost a shame though as I planned on having Mr. Drabney from Quest Moments turned into a female bulldog lol Writing is not really my thing. This is really just an expression of a personal fantasy. I had never even heard of the Mary Sue concept. LOL I did look it up and find a 'test' Johara scored twice the 'Kill it Dead' now rate of 50+ at 111 lol I agree that it needs work to make it more palatable. Back to the drawing board or in my case Paint lol JoharaGuardian 06:12, 19 May 2011 (UTC)

Nothing wrong with the appearance of Dr. Quest/Sands. He's become a bit of a staple it seems for some stories. And I went and had a character secretly turn the miserable Barney into a Stranger as a mercy kill after Project X was founded for crying out loud! I REALLY WISH the guys more in charge of the series than me could give better advice!!! And there's nothing wrong with Mary Sues as long as they're DONE RIGHT! Weather GNE for example succeeds at this or not is up for grabs. And Mary Sue herself is mentioned as being one of the costumed characters at Xanadu herself. Seriously I wish the big boys would say something.

--Alex Warlorn 08:26, 19 May 2011 (UTC)