User:Michael Bard/Just Lounging Around

{{#ifeq: User |User| Just Lounging Around | Just Lounging Around}}[[Title::{{#ifeq: User |User| Just Lounging Around | Just Lounging Around}}| ]]
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 {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}} | | 
   {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}} | || 
     Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}]] [[Author::{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}| ]]
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   {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}} | |
     Author: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}} |
     Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}]] [[Author::{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}| ]]
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 {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}} | |
   {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}} | | Authors: ' | 
     Authors: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}]] 
   }} | 
   {{#ifeq: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}} | |
     Authors: {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}} |
     Author: [[User:{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | {{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}}}|{{#ifeq: User |User| Michael Bard | Michael Bard}}]] 
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Being a couch is boring!

How do I know, you ask?

Look at me! Why do you think?

And, let me guess, you've never seen a talking couch before.

Well, come on, sit down. I won't bite. Massage yes, bite no. And, you wouldn't believe some of the things people tell their couch. Nosiree!

Ah! Now, isn't that better? My, but you are stiff? Long hard day? Yea, I used to have those. I'm much more comfortable now. Comfortable? Get it?

Okay-- I'll stop.

Yea, I was at Xanadu. What gave it away? And no, I'm not some new fangled Japanese invention. Really! I was a human once.

Why a couch? Well, why not?

Okay, okay, you do have a point. In actual fact, it was a dare.

A dare you ask? Well-- it was more a bet to see who could wear the silliest, most banal costume.

Yea, if only we knew. Of course, if I could read the future, I'd have bought a lottery ticket and be off in Hawaii.

What would I do in Hawaii? Well, now I'd find it kinda damp and moldy.

What do I do now? I thought that was obvious. And your muscles are more relaxed already!

Seriously? I hire out to high end massage palors.

What do I do with what they pay me? Of course they pay me a fair wage! This is the US after all. It's simple actually -- it goes to my sick grandmoth--

Okay, okay, you got me. No sick grandmother. I do have a family though, and it does help support them. Besides, it helps me get any tears fixed, and I can keep myself well laundered.

Sorry, your time's up. Been great talking to you! Yea, I do do a good job, don't I?