HNC-01 Suffolk Sugared Jawbreakers
|Huxley's Natural Cures story universe|
Suffolk Sugared Jawbreakers
Originally written on July 11th of 2001
"'ello mates. Ah'm Reed 'uxley and Ah am a real werekangaroo. 'ow did Ah get to Northern California, yas ask? Ah'll be glad to tells yas. Ah was born over 30 years ago in Australia to a normal enough family of kangaroos, in fact. Ah would never 'ave known that Ah was anything but a kangaroo until the night Ah achieved puberty. It was a full moon, and some stupid dingos attacked my family. Ah reacted without thinking, as the blood lust took over my body. The dingos were rent and Ah drank their fluids. My family was 'orrified and wouldn't let me come near them any more. Ah was devastated. Ah moved into the city where Ah was educated in 'umanity. Then one day, an American businessman was telling me all about the freedom he 'ad in the United States. Ah said that Ah wished Ah could go there, and the businessman paid my airfare to California. 'e officially adopted me within a month, and 'e sent me to the best schools in the Silicon Valley. Then, my curse caught up with me, and some 'ippies saw me transform and fight some police officers. As Ah was trying to get away, the 'ippies, drove up along side of me, then they got in front of me. One of the girls opened the back of the van and 'elped me into it. They drove me into Northern California, all the way up 'ere to the outskirts of their community. They told me that Ah was a lycanthrope. A warrior of the gods. They were the ones who suggested Ah study the natural ways. Ah wandered for a while, at first, then 'ad the fortune to communicate with my adopted father via a pay phone. Ah told 'im where Ah was, what Ah was, and what 'ad 'appened. 'e was really nice about it. A few days later, 'e showed up and drove me to a place 'e owned just North of Shelter Cove, California. This place where we are now. 'e told me that 'e would finance my 'erbal explorations, provided that Ah could show a profit by the time that one year 'ad passed. Ah agreed to the deal. I then studied 'erbs and spices for the first few months. Then one day, one of my 'ippie friends showed up and gave me some presents. They 'ad sent me a supply of new spices, unusual 'erbs, and some books on 'erbal 'ealing, pharmaceutical processes, and a book on 'erbal myths and facts. Applying all my new knowledge, Ah created the first of my best selling 'erbal cures: Mule Molasses. It was a big 'it. At the end of the first year, Ah 'ad not only shown a profit, but my remedies were pulling in more money than my adopted father 'ad made with 'is first business endeavor. 'e was very impressed with me and set me up with a permanent banking account for furthering my 'erbal business store. As time went on, Ah learned to control the bad boy kangaroo inside of me. Ah enjoy good Australian beer like Fosters, a beach barbecue, a night at the pool 'all in town with my friends, traipsing around the 'ouse naked, and working in my apothecary. Ah love inventing new concoctions. And Ah love snuggling with a friend in bed.
But enough about me. Let me tells yas now about one of my more recent overdose patients... Narrator, if yas please..."
A local teen aged boy, Damian Radford, had been coming by every morning to buy a single "Suffolk Sugared Jawbreaker". One of Reed's friends, a human named Darek Vanlyone, was tending the counter that morning when Damian entered the store. On this particular morning, Damian entered the store and walked right over to the large round glass bowl of "Suffolk Sugared Jawbreakers". He saw Darek watching him and smiled.
Darek asked, "How may I help you this morning?"
Damian replied, "I am trying to figure out how many of these Jawbreakers I can get for $20."
Darek pulled up his pocket calculator and pushed a few buttons. "Each one of those Jawbreakers are," Darek blinked at the price, "that can't be right." He looked again. "Eighty nine cents for one? Those must be really GOOD Jawbreakers if they cost that much." Darek pushed a few more buttons on the calculator. "You can get twenty-two Jawbreakers for twenty dollars and ninety cents. How's that, son?"
Damian sighed sadly. "I only have a twenty."
Darek smiled. "Don't worry about it. I'll dig up the ninety cents out of my pocket, and you can get twenty-two Jawbreakers."
Damian brightened! "Are you serious? Really?"
Darek dug his change out of his pocket, and took Damian's twenty and rang up the sale. Darek then handed Damian the receipt, then counted out twenty-two Jawbreakers, bagged them up, and handed it to Damian. "There you go. Have a great day."
Damian smiled widely. "Thank you, sir. You're the best." Damian headed out of the store, got back on his bicycle, and rode away.
Darek smiled to himself as Damian left. He dug out a dollar of his own money and got a Jawbreaker for himself. He unwrapped the wrapper, and popped the Jawbreaker into his mouth. Darek was surprised on how sweet and delicious that the candy was. He flattened out the wrapper and read the fine print on the wrapper.
"Made from the finest Suffolk draft horse body sugar." Darek stopped sucking on the Jawbreaker, then he continued reading. "Dosage: one Jawbreaker every four hours for an induced amount of amplified caffeine energy. Limit: three Jawbreakers per day for the safest usage." Darek was already feeling the affects of the Jawbreaker as it dissolved in his mouth.
A definite inducement of caffeine energy was flowing through him. He felt great.
Darek had a few more customers that morning, then Reed came out of the apothecary and joined Darek in the store. Reed noticed Darek's energy immediately.
"Darek? Are yas all right? Yas seem a little tense."
Darek replied with alert pep, "I bought myself a Jawbreaker and popped it in my mouth before reading what it did. I thought it was just candy."
Reed pointed to the Jawbreaker bowl. "Yas ate one of those?"
Darek nodded his head rapidly.
Reed chuckled, then said, "Yas should 'ave been more careful, mate. Those are 'ighly addictive caffeine bombs. A replacement for coffee. Don't feel so bad about it, though. Ah did the same thing when Ah first received a shipment of those things."
Darek, although pepped up with energy, didn't look very amused. "A teenager came in and bought twenty-two of them."
Reed's chuckle died in his throat. "Damian was in this morning? Oh lordy! We got to find 'im, mate. What was 'e wearing? 'ow did 'e leave?"
Darek told Reed everything he saw, then Reed and Darek closed up the store and hopped into Reed's jeep and drove down to the beach in search of Damian.
About an hour later, Reed spotted Damian's bicycle. Darek and Reed got out of the jeep and looked at the bicycle. Then they searched the area thoroughly.
Darek was walking past an opening between the rocks, when something caught his eye. He backed up and looked directly at what had caught his attention.
Standing in a cramped space between the tall rocks was a large tan draft horse. On the ground under the horse were Damian's ruined ripped tee shirt and shorts. Also on the ground was the remains of the bag of Jawbreakers.
"REED!" Darek yelled. "I FOUND HIM." Darek looked at the horse. "I think..."
Reed arrived in the jeep and brought some chisels and hammers to the site. Reed chiselled away the rock carefully, while Darek held the horse still.
Finally, Reed and Darek gently led the horse back up to the Natural Herbs store. Reed parked the jeep, then led the horse back behind the building to an almost hidden secondary building.
Darek entered behind the horse, looking around the inside space of this building. "What is all this?"
Reed sighed. "This is my apothecary building, mate. No one is normally allowed in 'ere but me, but this is an emergency. Ah 'ave been trying to catch Damian for weeks now."
Darek blinked his eyes! "You mean this horse is that teenager I saw this morning? But how is that possible? The kid looked perfectly human this morning."
Reed checked the draft horse out carefully. "'e 'as been stealing Jawbreakers from the bowl. Remember that Ah told yas 'ow addictive they were, mate? Well, 'e is an addict. Ah 'ave been trying to catch 'im and administer a cure before 'e went and did this to 'imself."
Darek looked at the horse again, then sat down on a stack of "Bagged Roo Powder".
Reed glanced over at Darek and exclaimed, "Yas can sit there, just don't poke a 'ole in that stuff. Otherwise, Ah will 'ave a new kangaroo mate instead of a 'elpful friend."
Darek blinked again and looked down at the label on the large bag he is sitting on. Then, he looked back over to where Reed was injecting a large liquid dose directly down the horse's throat. The draft horse made an obvious face, then Reed led the horse further back into the building to an empty stall. Reed parked the horse within, then returned back to the front of the workshop.
Darek's blast of energy had just worn off and he was yawning right where he sat.
Reed nodded his head realizing what had happened. "It's worn off, 'asn't it, mate? We best get yas into bed. Yas won't be worth a darned to me the rest of the day. Side effect of those darned Jawbreakers. Yas 'ave to sleep twice as long to revive yerself from the forced activity that yas 'ave placed on yer body during the last four 'ours."
Reed helped Darek get back into the house, helped Darek get undressed and helped the almost unconscious Darek into the bed. Darek was out like a light. He slept deeply and right through the rest of the day.
Darek awoke slowly and quite stiffly. He slowly sat up, then sat up on the edge of the bed. Darek stood up weakly and staggered slowly into the hallway wearing nothing but his underwear. He looked around for Reed, but couldn't find him anywhere. Darek headed into the rear apothecary building, and saw right away that Reed wasn't there either. Darek slowly walked to where the horse had been parked, as he looked into the stall at the Suffolk draft horse.
The horse, who was Damian, noticed Darek standing there and said, "I feel horrible."
Darek sighed. "You're not the only one. I ate a Jawbreaker too. It tasted so good at first, then it was like the worst taste ever when it wore off."
Damian nodded his horse's head. "I knew I was addicted, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting more of them. I was obsessed. Now look at me. I'm a horse."
Darek replied, "Reed told me that he can get you back to normal, or at least, reasonably normal. For a horse, you're not bad looking."
Damian sighed audibly.
Darek reached in and caressed Damian's face fur. "You'll be human again soon. Just try to be patient."
A few days later, Damian was more human looking, but was also still very horse looking. Reed told Damian that in a few more days, he would be completely human once again. Reed then returned to the front, and sat himself at his worktable to create some more cures.
True to Reed's word, a few more days later found Damian to be as good as new. Reed then escorted Damian back to his parents and explained to them that Damian had been mugged by ruffians, and Reed and a friend had found him and brought him straight home. Not quite the truth, Reed didn't think Damian's parents would believe the truth.
Reed then drove straight home and prepared his shop for another day, for surely someone else would come needing a cure from an unwanted natural induced transformation.
The End <comments />