User:Mr.Peaches/Have You Heard About the TFORs
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| Pig and Whistle story universe |
Thursday August 30th, 2009
Sweating bullets in a small Mexican village in the dead of summer, a rugged ex-cop straddling a pile of dead bodies expended his last pistol round and went down under a sea of writhing undead monsters.
"Damn." Roark Peterson set his hand-warmed video game controller down and fumbled for his soda among the army of empty cans on the nearby nightstand. A rustling from the apartment's kitchen caught his attention. Ash Norrington, his roommate, was unfolding a copy of the "Oregon Post," his heavy Nordic brow furrowed seriously. Roark nocked an eyebrow.
"Newspaper? What's the occasion?"
"Blowtorch Fever," Ash responded, "It's hit New York really bad, and they say it's popping up all over the world! It's..." He shook his head. "Intense."
"Uh-huh." Roark resumed his game. "Well, is it in Oregon yet?"
"No. They say..." Ash's finger made a popping noise as it poked the paper, "'In the United States, so far, the virus hasn't proceeded any farther east than Indiana. Citizens of nearby metropolitan areas such as Chicago are advised to take extra precautions against infection."
"Hmm." Roark absorbed this with mild interest, transfixed on the screen. "Another AIDS, sounds like."
"Dude!"
"What?"
"It says here the death toll is, like, sixty six percent!"
"Yeah, for, like, old people and babies." Roark's small hand finally found his Pepsi and he took a sip.
"How do you know?" Ash jibed over the paper, pale face awash in skepticism.
"It's the *media,*" Roark replied. "They *always* exaggerate viruses and stuff to scare people and sell papers. Remember bird flu? That was supposed to kill everybody. Didn't kill everybody. This blowtorch stuff is the same thing." Ash grunted noncommittally. "What time is it?"
Ash checked the microwave. "5:45."
"Reckon we aughter go, then," Roark sighed in a drawl, saving his game. "Ready, Mr. I'm-In-The-Lead-and-I-Left-My-Buddy-Stuck-in-the-Chorus?"
"Shut up!" Ash pouted in good humor. Cracking jokes and such, the friends departed.
They headed to the college, SAU, which was having its opening night of the Pirates of Penzance starring, among others, Roark and Ash. It wasn't a long trek; heck, you'd be hard-pressed to find a long trek to *anywhere* in Port Stand-Alone, Oregon. Even at its peak the town had never been more than a brief stop-over for traders on the way to the Pacific coast due to the fact the Elk River neatly bisected the town. With the modern age had come utter ignonomy... ignonomy and a smattering of college youngsters drawn to the community college, which didn't charge out-of-state tuition. Yet it was a peaceful town, full of fruit trees and old red brick buildings and infuriatingly convoluted roads built in the days before city-planning.
Roark entertained himself and Ash with talk of all sorts of silly things as the pair hiked up the steep incline to the campus, stepping over the occasional dropped chestnut fruit. Ash was quiet and let Roark's rich imagination do most of the talking; his thoughts were not in the moment, but were in fact approximately fifteen hundred miles to the east.
The thoughts of the rest of the Pirates cast were there as well; Blowtorch Fever was the hot topic of conversation for the night. Talk of death floated between crimson dresses and ornate sashes. Whispers of bodies piled high with no one left to bury them floated through the mists of water and powders given off by hasty costuming. Ash listened with mounting fear. Roark applied his stage make-up.
However much Roark tried to avoid this morbid topic, it seemed that he was destined to learn it anyway. Fifteen minutes before the curtain, a dirty pirate in beige fabric approached and gave him a wooden pistol, saying:
"Dude, did you hear about the TFORs?"
"T4's? Are those... planes?" Roark guessed, tucking the pistol into his emerald sash.
"No, man!" The pirate (whose name was Rico) admonished. "I was reading today on CNN.com about how, like, a third of all the people that get the Blowtorch Fever... *mutate!*"
Roark pursed his lips and focused on pulling on his boots. "Into what--zombies?" He mused.
"No. I mean, I *don't* know, but they won't even show it on television! They say it's too nightmarish!"
The stage manager leaned in through the dressing room archway. "Five minutes!"
"Thank you!" The cast responded in chorus. The hazel-haired Roark turned back to the Asiatic Rico.
"TV won't show something because it's 'nightmarish?' Yeah, right."
"Hey, man, I just thought it was some freaky shit. Makes you wonder who's next..."
Rico floated off, leaving a lovely pall of gloom over Roark. Grumpily, he finished pulling on his boots and merged into the stream of gaudily-costumed actors flowing to a small room designated for pre-show warm-ups, trying to dispel the shadow of plague from his mind. Flashing pirate "yars" to friends, he eventually succeeded. Besides, news just didn't come to Oregon, and it *certainly* never came to Port Stand-Alone. That was the way things were.
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Watching them go, a metal shop student forced by cruel fate to work overtime on his pet project shook his head, wondering why actors got so into dressing like fairies in public. Lowering his safety goggles, he brought a diamond-drill press down through a quarter-inch of steel plate, sweeping the curled shavings and powdered residue into a huge garbage can three quarters-full. Eventually the actors came back from whatever voodoo they did before performances. He stopped the drill a moment, cracked open a Sobe and listened to the opening song.
