King's Pride
 | Pig and Whistle story universe |
{{#ifeq: Jonas | ||
Author: Jonas
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{{#ifeq: Jonas | |
Author: ' |
Author: [[User:Jonas|]]
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{{#ifeq: | |
{{#ifeq: Jonas | | Authors: ' |
Authors: Jonas
}} |
{{#ifeq: Jonas | |
Authors: |
Author: [[User:Jonas|]]
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}} {{#if:| — see also [[:Category:{{{category}}}|other works by this author]]}}
I kept my eyes fixed on the clock. Three minutes until half-past. They would be here soon. I looked around at the other patrons of the bar. They talked amongst themselves, laughed at each other’s jokes, snuck hand and pawfuls of each other’s snacks. I knew I would do my best to keep things quiet, but only if it went flawlessly would these people be left none the wiser—and it would not go flawlessly. There was too much feeling—too much anger and fear to let this go without causing a scene. I would have given anything to have this meeting somewhere else, but the Pig and Whistle was my only option. It was the only place I felt comfortable on my own, the only place where people looked at each other instead of me. I learned a long time ago not to blame people for their stares—tolerance only goes so far when you’re a tiger—but I still needed a place free from strangers’ eyes. My confidence was stretched far enough as it was.
My ears perked at the sound of the door opening and my eyes dropped from the clock to see two humans walk inside. It took all my strength to keep my tail steady and ears firm as I raised a paw and beckoned the man and woman over to my booth. I had worked too hard to let myself be cowed now.
They sat down wordlessly across from me and for a long time we said nothing. The sounds of the other patrons faded into the void as this booth became the world. I scanned their faces. Five years had aged them both a great deal. Vindictively I wondered if I was the cause. They watched me carefully, taking in my fur, my muzzle, my paws, and running it against their memories. I hoped that the difference was jarring.
Finally, the silence was broken. The woman set her hand on the table and asked, “It is you then, Trevor?”
I nodded slowly. “Yes, Mum, it’s me.” I recited from the mental script I prayed to have the good fortune to follow.
“We weren’t sure what to do when we got your call.” Dad said. “It’s been so long since you left that—well... we wondered if you would ever—“
“A month.” I interrupted. “I’ve only been out for a month.” Even trying my best to keep a level voice could not stop a quiver of anger from tainting my words.
“You... you certainly look better.”
“You last saw me starved and being carried off in the back of a truck. Anything would be better.”
They looked like I had slapped them. “We only did what we thought was best!” Mum pleaded. “It tore us up sending you to—“
I growled and she stopped talking. “It relieved you. It gave you your lives back. It stopped me from being such a burden.” My words were sharp and wounding. This wasn’t right—I had to keep calm. They needed to know this but I wasn’t saying it right.
“When they took me,” I began, “I was broken for a year. Then their ‘treatment’, to use their term, rendered me feral for two and a half. It’s been recently that I’ve managed to become something recognizable as a person.” My tail was shaking. It was all flooding back. Every emotion, every memory, every bit of hatred. “That’s what your best did.”
“We didn’t have a choi—“
I slammed a fist down on the table. “You made a choice!” yelled. “You chose what was best for you!” This was wrong—it was all wrong! The words were right but I couldn’t say them properly. Others in the bar had gone silent now. So many eyes were on us. “You’ve no idea what it was like! The last year all I could think about was you two sending me there! It’s taken me everything I have to work up to calling you, and now, I just have one thing to say.”
We were on our feet and out of the booth. I didn’t know when it happened. They stared at me, their eyes fixed with the same resolve that sent me away. I wouldn’t get another chance, I had to say it now—I had to say what was buried under so much anger and hate. In an instant I lunged forward. Several watchers made to stop me but it was too late. I wrapped my arms around my parents and pulled them close, burying my muzzle into them.
“...I’m sorry!”
I could feel them stiffen. Moments passed, and then I felt their hands in the fur on the back of my neck, hugging me as tight as I held them; unsaid memories and unspoken feelings passing between us. We parted minutes later. There was a great deal that needed to be discussed but now was not the time for it. I saw them to their car and returned to the bar to confront the unavoidable eyes . “You looked like you were going to maul them.” Gordy said when I sat down on a barstool.
I nodded tiredly. “Part of me wanted to, I think.” Although I spoke only to him, there were a number of ears turned towards us.
“Seems like you got mixed feelings about wherever it was they sent you. Mind if I ask where it was?”
I looked up at Gordy. He was a good person, and I was too drained to care about a reaction.“Hyde.”
Gordy froze. The listeners-in all took sharp breaths.
“Hyde...” Gordy mumbled, “that’s the hospital, isn’t it?”
“Hospital, sanatorium, institution,” I replied, running through the list of euphemisms. “The rumours are exaggerated but it is not a good place to end up.”
“So why did—“
I answered before he had finished. Part of me knew this day wouldn’t end without talking about it. “Because I needed it. When I changed, I closed up. Wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t see anyone, would barely eat. I was a scarred kitten curled up in a corner of my room. Mum and Dad...they tried everything to make me open up. They brought in doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, even managed to track down a telepath and got him to try. I pushed them all away, too ashamed to even try. Something like that...it creates a taint. For two years my depression drained them emotionally and financially. Hyde was their only chance at getting both me and their lives back.”
I glanced over towards the door. “Today was supposed to be my chance to put that to rest, but I still have some...issues that got in the way.”
“I noticed.”
A chuckle. “It was...very cathartic, but very draining. Is it ok if I use the spare room tonight? I’m not sure I can get home still conscious.”
A nod signalled my leave. Many of the patrons were likely very confused by my scene, and I would have to endure strange glances for the next week, but it was well worth it. I raised a paw to my chest and felt a warmth there I thought had died in the Torch so many years ago.