User:RandomDSdevel/Sandbox/Works in Progress/Stories/Uprooted: Difference between revisions
→Prologue: Added the day of the week to each sub-section's space-time stamp, made Jennifer 'Jenna' Corrales into Cameron Featherspry's sister, and started fleshing out Cameron's stay at the hospital. |
→Prologue: Changed the name 'Featherspry' to 'Spryfletch;' fixed some problems with the flow of this story by altering my choice of words and sentence order in a few places; fixed some line-breaking issues. |
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''Outside…'' | ''Outside…'' | ||
Cameron and Jennifer had been walking home from their jobs at Thunderblaze Innovations for some time when the latter finally spoke up and asked the former what he had meant when he had let slip that there was a purpose to all of the work that he'd been subjected to lately. | Cameron and Jennifer had been walking home from their jobs at Thunderblaze Innovations for some time when the latter finally spoke up and asked the former what he had meant when he had let slip that there was a purpose to all of the work that he'd been subjected to lately. <br /> | ||
"So, what's all this about some big mystery project that happens to be the grindstone against which our dad's pushing your nose?" she inquired. <br /> | "So, what's all this about some big mystery project that happens to be the grindstone against which our dad's pushing your nose?" she inquired. <br /> | ||
"It's nothing important; just some big order that we're trying to fill," responded Cameron. | "It's nothing important; just some big order that we're trying to fill," responded Cameron. <br /> | ||
"Nothing important, eh?" she contested, "You're trying to hide something from me! Didn't you say something about some kind of presentation that we're going to hold next week?" <br /> | "Nothing important, eh?" she contested, "You're trying to hide something from me! Didn't you say something about some kind of presentation that we're going to hold next week?" <br /> | ||
"If I ''told'' you, it wouldn't be such a ''mystery'', now, would it?" he reasoned with her. <br /> | "If I ''told'' you, it wouldn't be such a ''mystery'', now, would it?" he reasoned with her. <br /> | ||
"Oh, come ''on!''" she pleaded, "You can tell me! Please?" <br /> | |||
"Oh, come ''on!''" she pleaded, "You can tell me! Please?" | |||
"Nope! My lips are sealed," quipped Cameron. "You'll have to wait to find out, just like everybody else." <br /> | "Nope! My lips are sealed," quipped Cameron. "You'll have to wait to find out, just like everybody else." <br /> | ||
"Aw!" Jenna whined. "I was looking forward to getting you to spill the beans…" <br /> | "Aw!" Jenna whined. "I was looking forward to getting you to spill the beans…" <br /> | ||
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"I'm sure you do…," muttered Cameron as they began to cross the street. <br /> | "I'm sure you do…," muttered Cameron as they began to cross the street. <br /> | ||
Raising an eyebrow, the young secretary asked, "Pardon me?" <br /> | Raising an eyebrow, the young secretary asked, "Pardon me?" <br /> | ||
"Nothing of consequence," he dismissed. "What was that?" he asked. | "Nothing of consequence," he dismissed. "What was that?" he asked. <br /> | ||
"What was ''what?''" Jenna shot back. | "What was ''what?''" Jenna shot back. <br /> | ||
"I thought I heard something…," he informed her. "It sounded like…" <br /> | "I thought I heard something…," he informed her. "It sounded like…" <br /> | ||
"Like what?" wondered his sister. <br /> | "Like what?" wondered his sister. <br /> | ||
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Cameron's worried father only stopped pacing back and forth across the floor of the intensive care unit's waiting room when the nurse called his name. <br /> | Cameron's worried father only stopped pacing back and forth across the floor of the intensive care unit's waiting room when the nurse called his name. <br /> | ||
"Dr. | "Dr. Gordon Spryfletch? The doctor will see you about your son now." <br /> | ||
"Finally!" he exclaimed. "Is Cameron all right?" | "Finally!" he exclaimed. "Is Cameron all right?" <br /> | ||
"He's doing fine, sir | "He's doing fine, sir," she explained. "The doctor wanted to discuss some options for further treatment with Cameron, but he insisted that you be there for the conversation." <br /> | ||
" | "That's quite understandable," replied Dr. Spryfletch. "Well, then; can we see him, please?" <br /> | ||
The nurse smiled, reassuring her, "I'm sure he'll be up and about in no time once we're through with him." | "Of course, sir. If you'll just follow me, then?" the nurse inclined. <br /> | ||
Jennifer sighed. "I just wish I could have done more to protect him in the first place. I didn't even ''register'' what was going on until it was almost too late…" she mourned. | "Lead the way," Gordon said by way of acknowledging this request. <br /> | ||
"It's all right, sweetheart," Gordon soothed | "Dad asked you if he'll be all right," Jenna reminded the nurse. <br /> | ||
" | The nurse smiled, reassuring her, "We've had to hook him up to an artificial heart pump for the time being, but I'm sure he'll be up and about in no time once we're through with him." <br /> | ||
" | Jennifer sighed. "I just wish I could have done more to protect him in the first place," she told her father. "I didn't even ''register'' what was going on until it was almost too late…" she mourned. <br /> | ||
"It's all right, sweetheart," Gordon soothed. "You said that assassin popped up out of nowhere, so there probably wasn't anything else you could have done for him." <br /> | |||
"But I should have ''seen'' that infidel ''coming''!" complained Jenna. <br /> | |||
"It was already getting dark, ''chiquita''," her father comforted. "Now all we can do is wait and hope that Cameron comes out of this alive." | |||
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Revision as of 18:38, 19 November 2014
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}} {{#if:| — see [[:Category:{{{category}}}|other works by this author]]}}
{{#if:Jigsaw green.png|}}
 | FreeRIDErs story universe |
 | This story is a work in progress. |
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{{#if:Critique.png|}} | Constructive criticism and in-depth critiques are welcome |
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Prologue
9:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Wednesday, October 14th, 2037
Venture Campus, Thunderblaze Innovations, LLC
Kokomo, Indiana, USA, Earth
"Well, I think it might as well be time to call it a night," yawned Cameron as he clocked out. "Sorry I've kept you here so late, Jenna."
"Oh, it's all right," said Cameron's sister and the company secretary. "I had some reading to catch up on, anyway. What do you do up in the lab all day, anyway, though? I mean…," fussed Jenna, "…you've barely even started working here, but Dad's already bossing you around and working you to the bone."
"Yeah, Dad's got me busy, all right," complained the young intern. "With the big reveal coming up on Monday, he needs all hands on deck."
"Well," his sibling confided, "I hope he cuts you some slack soon. If he keeps this up, he'll have worked you to the bone!"
"Ha, ha; very funny, Jen," Cameron chuckled. "Well, I guess it's time to go home, then."
"Yeah;" she counseled, "let's go home and get some sleep."
"And, man, do I need sleep!" he complained, making Jennifer chuckle, as they walked out the door together.
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Outside…
Cameron and Jennifer had been walking home from their jobs at Thunderblaze Innovations for some time when the latter finally spoke up and asked the former what he had meant when he had let slip that there was a purpose to all of the work that he'd been subjected to lately.
"So, what's all this about some big mystery project that happens to be the grindstone against which our dad's pushing your nose?" she inquired.
"It's nothing important; just some big order that we're trying to fill," responded Cameron.
"Nothing important, eh?" she contested, "You're trying to hide something from me! Didn't you say something about some kind of presentation that we're going to hold next week?"
"If I told you, it wouldn't be such a mystery, now, would it?" he reasoned with her.
"Oh, come on!" she pleaded, "You can tell me! Please?"
"Nope! My lips are sealed," quipped Cameron. "You'll have to wait to find out, just like everybody else."
"Aw!" Jenna whined. "I was looking forward to getting you to spill the beans…"
The look on her face made Cameron yield just a little. Considering his words carefully, he gave in. "Fine, then; I guess I can tell you one thing."
"And what would that be?" she asked, expecting something big, as they stopped at a crosswalk opposite St. Joseph Hospital.
"I think you might really like how surprising it'll be," he grinned.
"Hey!" she protested, "That was mean!"
"Sorry," he shrugged "I can't help it that I signed a non-disclosure agreement. Besides, Dad made me promise him that I wouldn't tell anyone, not even you, about this before the big debut."
"I have ways of making you talk!" Jenna growled in a slightly amusing attempt at an ominous German accent.
"I'm sure you do…," muttered Cameron as they began to cross the street.
Raising an eyebrow, the young secretary asked, "Pardon me?"
"Nothing of consequence," he dismissed. "What was that?" he asked.
"What was what?" Jenna shot back.
"I thought I heard something…," he informed her. "It sounded like…"
"Like what?" wondered his sister.
An unfamiliar voice answered her question for her: "Like a gun being cocked, miss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of." At this, he fired the gun in question right at Cameron's heart.
At such a close range, the assassin didn't fail to miss. Pain erupted in Cameron's chest as the bullet made contact with his internal organs. The boy's eyes grew wide, then rolled back into his head as he fainted at the sight of blood welling up underneath his shirt.
"What have you done?" Jennifer screamed, furious that an attempt would be made on her brother at a time like this.
The murderer smiled and took her aback with the cold, calm, and collected answer of someone who is clearly mad. "What needed to be done to get my revenge. Be glad I didn't shoot you." Then the shadow-cloaked figure retreated to the darkness from whence he had come, leaving Cameron's would-be protector in a slight state of shock. A few moments passed before it finally occurred to Jennifer that she should probably take her wounded brother into the nearby hospital.
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9:20 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Wednesday, October 14th, 2037
The Featherspry Residence
Kokomo, Indiana, USA, Earth
Dr. Gordon Featherspry, president and CEO of Thunderblaze Innovations, LLC, was in his study preparing for next week's event when the phone rang. Sighing, he wondered why he couldn't get even a moment's peace before answering.
"Yes? Hello, you've reached the Featherspry Residence. With whom would you like to speak?"
A panicked, female voice sounded clearly on the other end of the line: "It's a good thing you're home, Dad. Something terrible's happened!"
"What? Tell me what's happened, Jenna!"
Taking a deep breath to hold back her tears, his traumatized daughter told him what she had just witnessed. "It's Cameronn, Dad! We were walking home together when a crazed redneck in stealth armor popped out of nowhere and shot him!"
"Oh, no… — he must have been hired by Quithersveldt; that son of a heathen is probably still after me over losing that fraud lawsuit he lost to me last summer. Where are you, Jennifer? Did you make it to the hospital?" he pressed.
"Yeah, Dad." she replied. "They rolled him away on a gurney almost as soon as I dragged him through the door."
"I'll be right over," he vowed. "Meet me out front, and tell me if anything else happens."
"OK, Dad."
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9:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time
Wednesday, October 14th, 2037
St. Joseph Hospital
Kokomo, Indiana, USA, Earth
Cameron's worried father only stopped pacing back and forth across the floor of the intensive care unit's waiting room when the nurse called his name.
"Dr. Gordon Spryfletch? The doctor will see you about your son now."
"Finally!" he exclaimed. "Is Cameron all right?"
"He's doing fine, sir," she explained. "The doctor wanted to discuss some options for further treatment with Cameron, but he insisted that you be there for the conversation."
"That's quite understandable," replied Dr. Spryfletch. "Well, then; can we see him, please?"
"Of course, sir. If you'll just follow me, then?" the nurse inclined.
"Lead the way," Gordon said by way of acknowledging this request.
"Dad asked you if he'll be all right," Jenna reminded the nurse.
The nurse smiled, reassuring her, "We've had to hook him up to an artificial heart pump for the time being, but I'm sure he'll be up and about in no time once we're through with him."
Jennifer sighed. "I just wish I could have done more to protect him in the first place," she told her father. "I didn't even register what was going on until it was almost too late…" she mourned.
"It's all right, sweetheart," Gordon soothed. "You said that assassin popped up out of nowhere, so there probably wasn't anything else you could have done for him."
"But I should have seen that infidel coming!" complained Jenna.
"It was already getting dark, chiquita," her father comforted. "Now all we can do is wait and hope that Cameron comes out of this alive."
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