Talk:Three Minds 2.0

What was he using to pretend was his ship before the change hit?

--Alex Warlorn 10:29, 19 May 2011 (UTC)

Good question. It was going to be the pendant, but that was superseded by the other use. I was going for the whole 'essential part of the character excuse for the ship.'JoharaGuardian 10:32, 19 May 2011 (UTC)

I have been going through other stories regularly for plot tie ins and so forth. You mentioned somewhere about running into GNE. I found a section of that story that kind of covers Johara I think; She also suspected there of being at least one person changed so that they could alter reality at quite a fundamental level (almost the power of a god or goddess?), and people equipped with magical and technological artefacts of immense power. But, so far she couldn't pin-down exactly who or what they all might be. Which fits how Johara's magic system works. :)JoharaGuardian 10:46, 19 May 2011 (UTC)

Remember the poor poor angel fish character from The End? Water would be a vital part of their character but they didn't get any and died. --Alex Warlorn 04:22, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

I edited the first chapter to include ship models and a book model. That should fix that problem. The Dancer is just too important for were I want to take the story. This is a pretty flexible setting though and it wont break so I am satisfied. JoharaGuardian 07:07, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

There are currently three 'homes' for Xanadu victims as it stands now. Project X for those the government either rounded up or employed. Real Stark Enterprises or rather Eric Winters own personal retreat he's set up for victims of the event for victims who have no desire for their talents to be used or abused by those with authority. And finally Sly Fox's hotel which is meant as a safe zone for Xanadu victims who are simply too weird or strange to function within normal society. --Alex Warlorn 16:48, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

Could you remove mermaids, dragons, from the list please? Unless it's a major part of your story. Dragons seem to have form a nitch for themselves in the rocky mountains. And mermaids are being covered by another author.

"The talking garbage can agreed to come as did a giant feather duster" Sound like Sly's alley. The power of the The Script seems to guide such weirdo victims to Sly's place.

“Of course, but who said they could possibly stop me?”

A Silver-Age Superman. Green Lantern (who didn't read about the yellow weakness or need to recharge the ring before his change). Dr. Strange Sorcerer supreme. Gods of Egypt (oh yeah, haven't written that yet, never mind).

A good indication if a character is overpowered in a Urban Fantasy setting IMHO is if they couldn't be stopped if they wanted to conquer the world. Characters with this kind of power who strut their stuff come across as annoying to readers IMHO. For instance, Sly can't do ANYTHING that bends the rules of reality unless it's for the sake of humor from what I can tell.

Seriously, saying a line like that is ASKING for the fates to have someone stop or mess with you just to squash your ego. REMEMBER! For a story this long, it needs: conflict, struggle, or thrill. IMHO.

For the record though, this IS much better than the original version in many areas.

I'll admit maybe I'm being hypocritical since MewTwo is a character I plan to write eventually, but given how much the rules changed with the introduction of steel and dark types and giving bug-types more advanced moves . . .

At any rate, just be careful. A good conflict could be simply that his magic and technology due to being from conflicting origins and interpretations of the same character CAN'T be used in tandem or in combination.

This sort of thing can work in a short story. But this is a novella. It needs something to keep the reader curiosity over what happens next and UNCERTAIN over what happens next for the reader. I don't mean random plot twists that come out of nowhere with no foreshadowing. I just mean that predictable doesn't work for longer stories. IMHO. I REALLY REALLY wish someone else could step in here so I'd know if I was filling your head with nonsense! --Alex Warlorn 17:15, 20 May 2011 (UTC)