Talk:The Retirement

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Revision as of 13:31, 20 November 2013 by Claude LeChat (talk | contribs) (Added a little critique...)
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Hi! I take it this is just the first installment in a longer series? In that case, it's understandable that something's missing, but still. The writing's good, and the pacing is, too, but the story as it stands leaves me wondering, so what? I can sort of see why the scientist would do that -- in order to live his last ten years of life as a young, strong creature rather than an old man sliding into decrepitude. Still, what he did is essentially a suicide from everyone else's viewpoint, and it couldn't have been an easy decision. What about his family? Friends? His research? He took his laptop with him, after all. And more importantly, what if the serum had malfunctioned in worse ways than simply having no effect? Wasn't he afraid? Regretful?

I would like to see some of these questions addressed by a future story. Oh, and the little detail of him having to life a coyote's life with a human mind and human sensibilities...

-- Claude LeChat (talk) 12:31, 20 November 2013 (CST)