Talk:Alex and Hannah

This story is about two-thirds to three-quarters complete. After that, of course, will come some heavy-duty editing and spell-checking on my part. My greatest weakness, is probably punctuation. Second and related is flow. My prose tends to look choppy to me. That's what I'll work on first.

I guess (hope) I'm ready to hear what other people think so far.

I'll be doing a lot of revising, but the story is essentially done.

I think all-in-all this is a very nice piece. I liked the little nods to some of the other Xanadu stories that helped me see this as part of a whole. I think you could spend more time with the ending, in the last few paragraphs it feels rushed. I felt worried with your Jedi as well because -anything- could have happened to her. I do have one question, how would she have worked at the booth with a finned costume? But even as I ask that question I think of all the crazy costumes I've seen and think it's possible. There were a couple little mistakes, but all the ones I spotted were typos and not serious. -Clicketyclack

Thanks for your comments. Sometime I'll go back and rework the ending, I agree it is a bit rushed. 'Hannah's Tale' gives her side of what happened. I'm really glad you liked this. --Alveric 03:46, 1 July 2011 (UTC)