User talk:WolfyDrake95/Crash Course

Two real things I think deserve a mention: Firstly, great story. It's the first online work I've read in a while that I've actually wanted to read. It's gripping, and it made me want to know how things ended for the characters, which I don't feel a lot these days. Secondly, it's well detailed - I'm not too familiar with the PaW universe, but now I've read your piece, I think there's a lot of ways I could use the idea myself (if I ever get round to it, writing has never been a priority. Since I started I have produced a grand total of zero stories) because I understand it so much better. On a couple of minor notes, I think that the setting wasn't as good as it could have been. The characters and their feelings were very well detailed, but I think a focus on that may have taken a bit out of their location. Aside from that, good job. (Now I'll shut up and let someone with actual experience have their say)—MCMackers 15:09, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm glad to know that you enjoyed it, and that it helped you learn more about the PaW universe. I don't claim to be, y'know, knowing everything about PaW - hell, I only started writing in it recently - but still, it's good to know that I managed to let someone else know a little more about it.

About your second point: I know, the setting could use some work. I've noticed that myself. Personally, I think it's because I'm not really familiar with natural settings, like forests or woods, etc. I've never been any good at environmental descriptions. In addition, the setting is completely fictional. There is no part of the New Confederacy that is near to the border of a North American Republic state and has woodlands. According to my research, most of the New Confed territory is tropical, so technically my depiction of them enduring a temperate climate and woodland is wrong. Still, I'm hoping nobody notices that until they read this comment. In addition I thought the ending was a bit weak, because I rushed it late last night. And I figured the constant shifts in time might disorientate the reader. Meh...

Still, thanks a bunch for your praise! You, sir, have made my day. :) —Drake 16:40, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

You're very welcome. I feel the need to mention that I understand the issues you face when you say you aren't so familiar with the natural settings - They say to write what you know. I think very few people would be interested if I wrote what I knew, because the majority of my experiences have been in classrooms. As far as I'm aware, you're a little younger than me (I saw the happy birthday stuff) so I congratulate you for having written so much. MCMackers 16:56, 9 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I've always loved writing, since I can't draw and I need a way to express myself. The written word has always appealed to me. :) Yeah, I know we should always Write What We Know, but if I do that, like you said, I'll be churning out boring crap about classroom politics and playground bullies. So I watch a lot of Discovery Channel and stuff to widen up my perspective a little, and I play lots of Halo and other games to get into the feel of different time periods and situations. That way I get a better idea of different things, and it helps me write. --Drake 02:18, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm not going to praise you for this - you already know your stories are excellent - but I will point out one factual error. Fighters do not have an eject "button". It's actually a pair of handles either over the shoulders or between the legs. The ones over the shoulders pull forward and down, the one between the legs pulls straight up. Now in some older (read: Korean and Vietnam War era) fighters the handles were over the head and pulling them down actually pulled a canvas shield over the pilot's face. -- ShadowWolf 13:54, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Right, point noted. Will change. I guess I didn't see that part about it on Wikipedia: turns out they did mention (although only in the passing) that F-16 fighters use an ejection handle between the knees. Whoops! -- Drake 14:09, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Very nice! Just finished reading it. It's a great story, with great characters and plot arcs. I did notice a few hiccups in style and flow, which I'll go into more detail on when I have more time, but over all it's another great story. Between you, Lloyd, and me, we're really fleshing out this storyverse. I really need to start writing here again. Probably start with something much shorter. --Concerned Reader 14:36, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for the late response; been struggling to catch up with my math homework. Thanks for the praise, it's appreciated. Yeah, I know that there's a lot of strange hiccups in the flow of the story, mostly around where they found Peter, but I didn't have the time (or patience) to properly flesh out that section. Maybe if I have some time, I'll write a small add-on for that part. :D

Hmm... Just a thought: for now, we three appear to be the only writers actively writing PaW stories. I get the feeling that I'm messing it up slightly by focusing insanely on the 2010-2025 Collapse period, whereas most other stories appear to be set around 2030 - 2050. Also... another thought, but I dunno why, it seems like Shifti has grown rather quiet (as compared to other writing sites, like Ficly). There's little activity apart from the few of us—as in, I don't see many active stories or discussions or the like. ...Where did all the other writes go? --Drake 14:59, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

With the pair of major crashes and the way that there are limits to the stories - ie: the requirement for a TF - this is no real surprise. There is another major problem with this time of year... It's "con season" :) -- ShadowWolf 15:18, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

...True, I guess. But still I seem to see that TSA-Talk is a lot more active than Shifti. That's probably because TSA-Talk is pretty well-established and well-known as compared to Shifti. --Drake 15:56, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

I thought up Benti's haiku:

Falling from the sky

Treking through hostile forest

and then comes ice cream

Beautiful, I know, but I'm sick and feeling really sleep deprived right now.--New Age Exorcist 05:16, 2 June 2010 (UTC)

Oh, sorry, I totally didn't notice that you had posted this. Sorry for the ultra-late response. Thank you for thinking up the haiku! I never really meant to reveal the whole haiku (heck, don't tell anyone, but it was a reference to something a similarly-named character in another book said), but I appreciate very much that you thought it up. :D --Wolfy 17:07, 11 January 2011 (UTC)