Delivery Guy
Well Doc, it all started last weekend. Frank and I, we were delivering snacks and soda pop to the Convention Center and loading the machines there, when piff!. Well, it weren't really a sound, more like a pressure, like when you're in a plane or going over the mountains. Well piff! it went and Frank was gone. Instead, there was this big, busty woman in Frank's clothes, or something like Frank's clothes, because they fit her you see. And she was all over me in an instant, saying how she'd alway wanted me, and how I should call her Francine. Scared the ever-loving bejeezus out of me. Now, don't mistake me, she was hot and all, but she was Frank about fifteen seconds before. And that was just wrong. I lit out of there pretty quick.
If I thought it was any better away from the snack room, I thought wrong. Things were even more peculiar. People were rushing about in a panic, running into things, knocking one another over. And not all the people were quite people, if you know what I mean. Then there were the animals and alien things too. They all had the same notion I did, to get the Hell away from there. None of us were standing on ceremony either. It was Devil take the hindmost. And I'm pretty sure I saw the Devil there too.
It took a while, and it was dangerous, but I finally made it to the truck. I saw neither Frank nor Francine, so I just drove back to the warehouse. It took some convincing to get past the cordon the police set up, but they had their hands full and I looked normal, so they let me through. I was done for the day. There was no way I was taking any more routes, especially by my self. When I got back, they were all sitting around the TV in the office, watching CNN.
They found it amazing that I hadn't got sucked into whatever was going on at the Convention Center an had me tell what happened there more than once. They didn't blame me too much for leaving Frank behind, under the circumstances. We all figured he'd show up some time or other as one sex or the other. Rita was rather looking forward to not being the only woman working at the Snack Kingdom Warehouse.
Most of us decided it must have been terrorists, who or how being a deep mystery. Rita said she thought it was just that when weird folk get together to do weird shit, weird shit happens. I tended to agree with her. After that we watched CNN again for a while. It was mostly footage shot from a helicopter of the Convention Center smoking slightly, with a tantalizing glimpse of animals and strange-looking people wandering about the lawn. This was followed by the anchor talking to a panel that seemed to blame the Administration for what was happening. Then there was some more footage of emergency vehicles arriving and leaving the grounds. Which was in turn followed by the anchor questioning a panel that seemed to think it was the previous Administration's fault.