View source for Diary of Jane Chapter 1: Entries 1-3

{{author note|This story is not assochiated or affiliated with the Breaking Benjamin song of the same name.}}
[[Category:Story]]

I remember the bright room. Glass was everywhere. I ran out of the room as fast as I could. I have to write this down quickly while the details are fresh in my mind. I wrote down this note to put on top of my story to explain everything.  The publisher called Ruby will add some more details to my story but this note will explain important details. Ruby and I will spread the news around. I could still hear the marching feet. They may be still after me still. I just hope this story reaches the public. 
My name is Jane Neilson. This is a diary about my experience the past few months. I could remember every detail from the first day it has happen. Ruby told me that the dates would be add to my dairy since that was the only thing I couldn’t remember from these months. I will tell the readers that this story is true. I would write more down but I know they are still after me and I must leave soon. Please get this story to the world
- From Jane Neilson



== '''Entry 1: June 20''' ==
 

“Hey, Jane you want to go fishing?” my brother said, interrupting my thoughts.

I was on the back porch of the lake cabin, looking at the woods beyond the backyard. The woods looked dark. They belong to the set of a horror film or the setting of a dark fairy tale. They did not move even in the wind. I felt cold even in a warm day like today. The days weren’t as hot as they should be in summer. Some people like my mom were tanning even when it isn’t sunny. I turn to my brother who was holding his fishing pole.

My name is Jane Neilson. I am on vacation with my family to a lake in the Midwest. We rented a log cabin for a week and we were planning on swimming, fishing, water skiing, and boating. My father said that he knew a perfect lake to do all that. He found the lake but the weather wasn’t warm enough to go swimming. So there went my fun for the vacation. I didn’t like fishing and boat riding. I wasn’t enthusiastic to them like my Father.

So my father and my brother Rob were preparing to do both. My mother was sitting on a lawn chair reading a book and tanning in the little sun. My father was preparing to go out to the lake and Rob was holding the fishing poles. My brother was great fisher. Every since he got home from his junior year in college he want to come with us to our vacation so he can fish. Rob wasn’t like anyone expects him to be. He is very smart and reads all the time. But he didn’t look like a geek. He didn’t wear glasses despite reading all the time. He wore black t-shirts and jeans all the time. And he also had strong muscles like he lifts weights. But he really annoys me. For one he is very smart that my parents complain why I don’t get the good grades in high school like he had. They even expect me to take college classes during my senior year. I barley passed my junior year. Another thing was Rob seems to ask me to do a lot of favors like get him stuff or help him fish. But other than those things he was a nice guy. He even helps some of his friends in college.  

“Sure, I will come.” I said and I got my shoes on. 

We walked down to the dock area. As usual the docks were crowded. Mainly of old man who were getting their fishing gear out. My dad and Rob turn left into a small area were our boat was. I sat at the bench. I didn’t want to get in the way of my dad getting the boat ready. The wind blew a little across the area. A cloud was moving slowly across the pale blue sky. I stifled a yawn. I turn to docks when my Rob was walking towards me. I stood up, stretching.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” Rob asked. I glared at him but he ignores my face and handed a $10 bill. “Can you get some bait and a drink for me?” he said. “I would get myself but Dad needs help with the engine. The boat is stall.”

“Fine,” I said tiredly. “Is it the usual bait and drink?”

“Yes,” he said as he brushed his long brown hair at his face. “We will have the boat ready within fifteen minutes. Do not dawdle.”

I walked up the hill to the shop. The shop was also part café and dinner. The people in here were usually not boater. They were either bikers, truck drivers, and people on vacation like us. I walked up to the counter. It was awhile before someone could get to me. I gave them my order and waited until they get the bait. I looked over the dinner area. Some men were talking about some sport team while others say the best fish are of this lake are. Only one person didn’t fit in. He was sitting on the counter typing on a laptop, or reading a book. He barely touched his food or coffee. He stood out among the crowd with a business suit and red sunglasses. One of the truckers beside him noticed him.

“What are you doing?” he asked the stranger. 

“I’m typing a novel.” The stranger said barely looking up from the computer.

“What are you an author?” the trucker asked.

“Yes, my name is Matthew Dent.” He said tonelessly.

“Matthew Dent?” the trucker said, trying to think what Matthew wrote. “Did you do a series of werewolves’ books? Aren’t they called the Shadow of the Forest or something?”

“Shadow of the Moon” Dent corrected him.  “Yes I did that series. It sold quiet well. It all started with my idea of werewolves being known. I didn’t think I would do well if the idea so I intended to write only one book but my publisher wanted me to write more.”

“What are you writing now?” the trucker asked before taking a swig of his coffee.

I couldn’t help but eavesdropped. I was sitting near a somewhat famous author. I heard of Matthew Dent. His books were for those people who have an eccentric lifestyle. I didn’t have anything against his fans or his books but their obsession was severe. I can’t see how a lot of people get attached to the books. I read some of Mr. Dent’s books and don’t see the big deal with them. Matthew Dent spoke up again. 

“I am writing a novel about people getting the power to transform.” He said as he closed his laptop. “I have it on my blog and website. Now I have to go and call my publisher.”

“What is it with you and transformation?” the trucker asked as Matthew Dent headed towards the phone booth. He was pretty much asking a question in my mind.

“Does the idea fascinate you?” the author asked quietly. “I mean who wouldn’t want to have the ability to become a different form? It is in every cultural in every area. It is a desire that everyone wants. You can have the ultimate experience of species if you change into that species. It has always been my dream.”

Matthew Dent walked to the phone. I stared at him for a while that I did notice that my order was ready. I pay the items and walked outside, my head still filled with the conversation.  The idea of becoming a different form I thought as the sky brightens up. The only career I thought after school was journalism. But could become an author like Matthew Dent? I thought about this all the way to docks. I saw my brother calling me over and I ran to the docks. 

Our boat stood by the docks ready to go. The Blessed Mermaid as my dad called it was a sailing and motor boat. It can glide smoothly across the water and be great for water skiing. I hopped into as my father started the motorboat. There was very little wind now and this lake was not good for sailing anyway. We set off into the lake, the sun shining brightly. It was relaxing to be in the middle of the lake. I sighed as I began to fish. Fishing to me was a great way to relax the mind. I could sit for hours fishing.  It didn’t seem long but after a few hours storm clouds began to form. My dad cursed and went to start the motor. But unfortunately the motor stall again. My dad cursed again and tries again. The motor was still stall.

“You need help?” said a voice from behind the boat.

I turned around to see a boat coming behind us with a tall man on it. The man was around the same age as Rob. He had black hair that stood out in every direction. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a hooded jacket that had some rock band’s name on it. He wore cargo shorts with sandals. He looked at us from his large boat that was going around us.

“Nick Mason?” my brother said uncertainly. “Is that you?”

“Robert Neilson, I knew I recognize you.” The man said as he open the gate to his boat. “I thought that I could give you a ride since you boat is stuck.”

“I think we take that offer.” Rob said as he looked at our dad who was now slamming his fist against the motor. “I have to ask my dad if he fix it though.”

“That is fine with me.” The man called Nick said as he looked around.

And that is how I meet Nick and learn of what was going on in the woods.

Now we were on Nick’s boat who was cursing around the lake. Nick and my brother apparently meet when a few people try to steal nick’s car but my brother stopped them. Rob was talking to Nick like he was an old friend. I wish Nick gave the same attitude to him back. He looked a little worry. He stared uncertainly around the boat.  My father was busy calling on his cell phone for a tow boat but according to his yelling it was not working. Nick was looking through his cooler when he saw me. He smiled a bit and looks up.

“Who are you with?” Nick asked Rob as he looked from me to my farther.

“They are my father and sister.” Rob said and turned to me. “Jane meets Nick, Nick meet Jane. Nick is an old friend from college. He goes to different college now but we still keep in touch. So you are on vacation too?”

“It could say that.” Nick replied as he returned to the cooler.  “Can I offer anyone a drink?”

“Sure,” I sad as I watched a crane fly past us.

“Hey, Terry do we have any soda left?” Nick called out to under the boat.

A trapdoor open from below the boat and an immense man stepped out of it. He could easily be a linebacker. His muscles were huge and his body was wide. He looked like he could wrestle a bear with his bare hands. He wore sunglasses that made him looked easily like a bodyguard despite the gray t-shit and swim trunks he wore with them.  He was carrying a two liter of pop with one of his fingers.

“Oh, this is my friend Tate.” Nick said as if he forgotten that he was there.
  
“Hello” Tate said stiffly in a deep voice. He handed Nick the two litter which to begin to pour immediately. He handed me a cup. I said thank you and stared out to the lake. The wind blew softly as I sip my drink. The storm clouds were getting darker making it looked like the sun was setting early. Terry started the boat and began to drive towards the docks. My dad got off the phone and looked out to where our boat was. I sip my drink as Rob turned to Nick, who was looking out to the lake absentmindedly. 

“I heard rumors about the woods recently.” Rob said as if he wanted to discuss a topic.

Nick ignored him. He turns to a small island on the right side of the boat.

“Thanks for picking us up.” my dad said as he picked up his drink. “I have called a tow boat to pick up our boat. They seem a bit busy and won’t be over her until the morning. I would prefer to stay with my boat until they get here.”

“I wouldn’t advice that if I were you.” said Tate from behind the wheel. “They said that severe thunderstorms are heading this way. It would be risky to stay with your boat.”

“Well then it is a good thing that I didn’t” my father said and he gulp some of his drink.

“Anyway we should stay away from the woods.” Nick said pointedly. “The police are searching them for trespassers. Anyone near the woods would be a suspect.”

“So you did hear the rumors.” Rob said, smiling. “Do you know who they are?”

“They are group of scientist who are researching in the woods.” said Nick testy. It was if my brother has accused him of being with the trespassers. Nick turned away from the lake and towards my brother. “It is not like I’m with them. I am a medical scientist not a biologist.”

“I’m sorry.” My brother said apologetic. “I thought since college you would change you career. I didn’t mean to accuse you of being with the trespassers.”

“That is okay.” Nick said and he gulped the rest of the drink.

“Scientist?” I asked. “Here?”

“They are here researching but gone into private property.” Nick told her. “The police are involved and now they are looking for them. The media got hold of this story and began writing an article about it. But both the police and government want this to be quiet since the scientists supposing are working on a top secret project. I heard of this on my way here.”

“But why these woods and why now?” my father asked.

“I don’t know.” Nick said quietly. “But they are getting into trouble with the police if they don’t have a warrant. Tate, what time is it?”

“It is about 6:00 o’clock.” Tate said and he turned the boat right.

“Well, we are near the docks.” said Nick and he sat down. “But don’t be so eager to leave because they might have police search us. We are out late.”

Tate slowed down the boat as we approached the shore. No police were are the docks but no one was gathering around the shop anymore. I looked out into the woods. I always wonder what kind of person would walk in these woods. I can feel the cold wind coming against my back. I know it was a little childish to be scare of these woods but anything could be in there. A cold hearted killer or an angry bear could be waiting for anyone to come by. Now there are people researching in the forest. Do they know the danger they are in? Suddenly the dock came in view.

“Well thanks for giving us a ride.” Rob said as he stepped off the boat and shake Nick’s hand. “We could have a cookout soon, you want to come?”

“I am busy tomorrow but I might come over.” Nick said. “I’ll try to come over.”

It began to rain as we I head to our cabin. I looked back at Nick who sitting on his boat looking at the lake. I wonder why he didn’t like Rob thinking that he was with the scientists that are in the woods and why did my brother think that he was? What did Nick do? I shook my head. I shouldn’t get my brother affairs. What he thinks of his old friends was his business. I shouldn’t be bother by it.
 
But my brother was still moody throughout the night. During dinner he just stared as his diner and only eats some of it after a few minutes. I didn’t know what made my brother upset. My parents are oblivious to my brother’s behavior. My father was upset about his boat and my mother was busy looking for stores that had good meat for our cookout. As my brother went down the hallway where the bedrooms I follow him. He was about to enter his room when I stop him. 

“What is a matter?” I asked him.

“It is just strange how Nick was here.” Rob said his voice was full of concerned. “I thought he was going to be here and we ended up meeting him here. It has deepened my fear. He was a nice guy but now he is becoming strange. It guessed it had to do with those people in college.”

I gave him a quizzical look which he answer my question.   

“Well back in college Nick was struggling to get the grades he wanted for his career.” Rob explains. “I became friend with him because I was helping him pass his classes. He was rich from his parents and could afford a place and necessaries. We became roommates after a few months. After awhile Nick began to see other people. They weren’t students at the collage. They were for a lesser extent criminals. They were very smart people. They work for a scientist who told him to do drastic measures to get items. They did a number of break-ins and gave both knowledge and money to Nick. He was getting way too involved. It was only a matter of time before these criminal scientists were going do something drastic. I tip the cops off about their next burglary. The cops caught them all except Nick who got cold feet and ran. I pick him up from downtown and convince him not to join those scumbags again. The cops uncover everything. The scientists want to do something illegal.’

“So you see if those scientists are here again I fear Nick may have join them again.” Rob said. “Nick had hard life. His father wanted him to be a doctor and his criminal friends about change Nick’s mind on a job. When his father found out he was furious. I try everything to help Nick but he was forced to move to a different collage. I feel like a failed him if he join the scientists in the woods. If he did then who knows how far they will go. Nick was very thrilled when he did the crimes. They didn’t care of the consequences.”

I stared at my brother. I didn’t expect him to have feelings for Nick this much. It sounds like Nick’s life was in danger. Rob was acting like they were terrorists. I realization has come over me. Maybe he thought we were all in danger. I do not normally jumping to these crazy conclusions but my brother’s behavior was frightening. What was going on?

“Well good night.” My brother said suddenly and he went to his room.

“Night” I called back. 

After a few glass of water I was calming down about the attitude between Nick and Rob. Maybe I was overreacting. Rob was overly kind guy and he thought one of his friends is doing illegal activity. I push my dark red hair out my face as I looked in the mirror for any insects. Another thing that didn’t make this vacation enjoyable was ticks and spiders. I always fear that I will find them all over my body when we went to the lake. Thank goodness I was so pale making it easier to spot them.

After I was done searching for bugs I put on my lavender nightgown and crawled into bed. I usually took my baths at night but again my insect fear made it reassuring that I wash off the bugs crawling on me during the night if I took a bath in the morning. I turn off my lamp and looked out the window. The moon was almost full. It shines brightly on the dark sky before I fell asleep. 
      

== '''Entry 2: June 21''' ==


I woke up in the middle of the night. My head was pounding and my throat was dry as desert. I try to crawl out of bed as slowly as I could because my body was aching very painfully. Every move I make felt painful. I got up from my bed and out to the main room. A bottle of water was still on the table. I grabbed it, not caring that if it was mines or not. I tip the bottle into my mouth and started to chug the whole thing. If it did anything it made it worse. I staggered near the table. My head felt like I had a migraine. I had to do something. 
I walk out of the room and into the back porch. My body began to shake. I felt a little bit better outside the house but not much. I could hear my heart pounding. Something was not right. Something is happening to me but what? My illness must have come from the lake. It is something strong. I leaned against the porch’s railing. My stomach and body stop aching. My head was still pounding. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I didn’t feel right. I look out to the lake and the woods surrounding my house. They looked dark and forbidding as ever. It seems like someone or something was watching me. It could be a fox or another animal.

Suddenly I fell to the ground. My body was convulsing like it was having electric charge going through it. Every inch of my body was painful. I almost cry out but my mouth was dry again and I couldn’t do so. It felt like a blessing to have to cool grass pressed against my painful skin. My headache was coming back in full measure. It demanded full attention.  I wanted to scream but I was too weak to do so. I wanted this pain to end. Then all of the sudden the pain was gone as soon as it came. My body stopped aching and my head stop pounding. I got up to my knees. My silk nightdress had some grass stains on it but nothing else was ruin or show what happen to me. My mother might get worry if she ever heard of this. I put my hand on the ground to lift myself of the ground.

Then my hand tingled. I looked down at it. My hand looked oddly deformed. It was changing. A gasp got caught in my throat. My heart was pounding quickly. What was going on? I thought fearfully. My hand was transforming. I saw my fingers shrinking. They were becoming stubbier. I felt the bottom of my hand become leathery. The back of my hand began to itch and I knew instinctively that something was happing to it too. I saw black fur growing on it. I knew what was going on; my hand was becoming a paw.

Usually from the books I read of animal transformation that the main character gets scare of the transformation. That was not the case for me. I was scare at first but a sense of wonder has filled my mind. As I stare at my left hand that has become a paw I was thinking curiously of what was happening to me. I felt the rest of my body beginning to transform. If there was pain during this transformation I didn’t felt it. The power of transforming felt like a tingling and warm sensation coming down my spine. It felt wonderful and weird and might of block the pain of transformation. I had look at the rest of my body however even if it freak me out.
 
The fur grew all over my hand and arm. The color of the fur was a bright red, lighter than my own hair. Speaking of my hair it was shrinking or transforming. I felt my hair slither away from my back. The fur was growing everywhere. I felt it on my back, my face, and my legs. The fur felt silky and warm. My knees were aching. I felt my bones changing and turning into bones of a quadruped. I began to feel conformable on all for legs. My knees shift back and snapped into an animal’s leg.
 
I look away from my body. I saw that the area around me was a lot bigger. The back door was twice my size even if I stood on my back legs. I must be shrinking. I looked at my body. My nightgown was wrapped around me like a blanket. I could feel myself get smaller as I shook off my clothes. Fur was covering the rest of my body and it was quiet warm with a fur coat. My feet began to feel as if it was being compress on all size. It was undergoing the same transformation as my hands have gone. Only my back paws had white fur. I felt my bones in my arms and in my body stop transforming. 

I thought the transformation was over when the tingling sensation started again in my back. I felt something moved in my back. I look at my lower back and saw a small tail growling. It was made completely out of beautifully red fur. I could barley looked at my new tail when my face has gone numb. I felt it moving together. My nose and mouth moved forward. My teeth were sharpening. My ears were also transforming. They were moving to the top of my head. I close my eyes as my snout finish morphing into its shape. I open my eyes after a few minutes to I looked at the world for the first time as a fox. 

My eyesight was terrific. I couldn’t see far but my close range was sharper and I could detect movement very easily. I could see every detail of the bush ten feet away from me. The woods at night were very different. They did not look frightening. In fact they look conforming. My nose was very sharp too. I could detect every particular smell in the air. I could smell the different lake odors and smell raw fish in it. My ears could pick up noise from the woods. I could hear branches moving and rodents moving in the undergrowth. The images of rodents moving made my stomach growled. I was shocked by the thought. The sense of wonder that had filled me with wonder was now gone. It was place with the sense of lost and the unknown. What now?

I felt the fox part of me wanting to go into the woods. My human part was afraid of wandering off. I felt confuse. I still had a human mind or at least a sense of control and my memories. But I also have fox mind and instincts. My body wants to go out into the woods and do what foxes do. I didn’t want to do that. I would surely get lost in the woods and may never find my family again. The thought of them made me looked back. I closed the door behind me and it seems like no one else was awake. I stepped towards the door and clawing at it. I didn’t even think about doing it. I stopped. My body was already working on instinct. I could feel my body impulses to do stuff. It was restless. I looked back out to the woods.

I could wait there until Rob opens it in a few hours. It must be at least three in the morning. But one nagging problem still remains: How could I change back to human? I must have done something to change into a fox. There has to be a way to change back. Then a deep fear awoke inside me. What if I don’t change back to a human? What if I was stuck as a fox forever? My body began to quake. I look around the backyard. Was there something nearby that did this to me? I smell my clothes for any chemicals. I didn’t find anything in them. They still smell human to me. The thought startled me and froze me to the ground. I was beginning to think like a fox. My instincts told me to run. There were humans everywhere. But I’m still human I thought. But was I? My body had transformed into a fox but will my mind?  I decide not to put a thought on that and stride to the woods. I can wait for Rob and try to tell him what happen to me.

It was weird walking on all four legs. It was natural and unreal at the same time. I stepped over rocks and twigs easily like I knew they were there.  I walked across the human backyard and into the forest. The bushes and trees stood exceedingly tall over me. I looked back at the house. No lights were on still. I can wait. If they see my clothes and see a fox in the backyard they might put two and two together. I curled into a ball. My tail brushed against my face. I nip at it, trying to get away from me. The wind moved across the trees. The sound was comforting.  I closed my eyes. I felt tired. I began to doze off and go into the realm of sleep. 

My eyes open to bright sunlight. I was in the forest. I stood up suddenly. At first I didn’t know where I was or why was I sleeping in a forest. Then memories of the night came back to me. I remember me being sick, going outside, and transforming into a fox. I could be back to normal. But I knew I wasn’t before I look at my body. I still had a fox body and fox instincts.  Suddenly I remember what I was going to do.  I jumped out of the undergrowth and into the backyard. It must be later than dawn because the sun was nearly at its peak. I expect police to be at my house, my mother and father screaming for me. But instead I saw nothing. The house was deserted. I could smell no humans were in the building. I ran to the back door and swiped my paws against it. 

The humans have left but no way to get food. I need food. I went towards the forest but stop. My fox side was trying to take over. I didn’t know what I was doing. What was my name? Jane Neilson. I live in New York City. I was seventeen years old. What did I look like? I couldn’t think of it. I stared at the ground in shock. I didn’t know my image! All I could see is a fox body and face. I didn’t even know what my family look like. I was losing my human side. I had to untransformed soon.

Suddenly a picture of lavender nightgown came to my mind. I looked down at the ground. But no clothes were there. They were gone. I press my noise against the ground they were at. There were human scents in it but I couldn’t tell the difference. Abruptly my fox mind took over. I didn’t want it too but one a fox could tell which scent was which. One human had a flowery, vanilla smell to. This human was coming from the dwelling behind me. It lives in this den. That is me my human side thought. The other smelled bigger and tougher. It was a danger to me. This human smells like sweat and peppermint. This human came from the lake area and took clothes. I must find this human.     
Before I could step towards the lake something strong knocked me to the ground. I rolled over and landed on my back. Something like thunder had shaken the forest. I saw orange light around me. I looked at the human den. It was on fire. Waves of heat and smoke have engulfed the area around me. Ashes were falling around me. I couldn’t breathe. Both my human and fox minds screamed to run but I couldn’t. I stood helpless at the foot of the flames. Fire was already taking over most of the den. Smoke was blocking the sky. I didn’t know where my family was. Are they dead? Something snapped in the den and a gush of fire spew towards me. By human and fox instinct I managed to avoid the trail of fire. I turned away from the fire and ran. 

I ran faster than I could ever run as a human. I jumped over a log and ducked under a large bush. I could smell smoke everywhere. Other animals were fleeing too. A flock of birds were flying above me. A deer leaped from my right and into a patch of bushes ahead of me. I duck under them and sharply turned to my left to avoid a tree.  My fox body was taking over. I was running out into the middle of the forest. I was on instincts. Every part of my body was aching after a few minutes. I stopped at a clearing. I looked around me for fire and smoke. No smoke filled the air but I still smell danger. I looked around me. The trees stood immensely tall around me. I saw some birds flying to the trees across me. Everything screamed danger. It was very silent. Then I saw movement from on top of the trees.

I looked up and saw a human sitting on top of a tree. This human was looking down at me like a predator. I bared my teeth and growled. I step back cautiously. I wasn’t going to be hunted. The human got up from his hiding spot. Was the human aware that I knew where he was at? I couldn’t see the human’s appearance. The human was hiding in the shadows. I saw the human move his hand and something silver was heading towards me. I hurled my aching body out of the way. A silver cage landed on the exact spot where I would have been. My human mind realized what was going on. My fox body moved quickly across the clearing and jumped over a tree stump. A load blast and something sliced through the air towards me. I tripped and rolled out of the way. A dart hit the ground mere inches away from me. I stared at it in fear. I leap to my feet. I dashed down a hill and towards the middle of the forest. Branches of bushes were hitting my face but I didn’t car as long as I put distance between and my predator. I slowed my pace as I gotten to the bottom of the hill. I moved swiftly under a bush and down under a ditch under it.

My human mind was racing. Someone was hunting me. To my fox side it didn’t matter because a predator hunts for whatever reason. As long as I evaded the enemy I will stay safe. My human side however knew who it was trying to capture her. She remembers like a distant lifetime of what Nick and Rob said about scientist researching in the forest. They say how some of the law enforcements are trying to stop them. Were these scientists the ones hunting her? Are they the ones who cause her current predicament? It seems likely. I lay down on the dirt floor my body exhausted from running too much. I dreading realization was coming to me but I was too tired to care. I was lost. I couldn’t remember how to get back to the cabin. My fox senses could navigate me through the forest but it certainly didn’t want to return to human dwellings! I turned over. My family was probably away from the cabin when it burst into flames. How the lake cabin burst into flames it didn’t matter to me. I couldn’t figure how to transform back to human so now I got to survive.

My throat was starting to get dry again. I had to get a drink. I left the bush and went searching. My nose told me that a stream was nearby but other animals were near it too. I should remand cautious. I left the hill and went towards the lake area. Piles of leaves were covering the forest floor. It smelled like no humans were ever here. I trotted over the sticks and rocks as I made my way towards the stream. I could sense other animals were stating to move from their homes. The sun was high in the sky now. It must be past noon. After a bit of walking I saw a stream coming across the land. It wasn’t big but it was enough for me to drink from. My human side wanted to move forward but my fox body stopped. The fox side senses something moving. I looked across the stream and saw large object moved across the bushes. I couldn’t see it but it smell like the forest. It must be a large animal. I saw it moved across the trees and disappeared from view. As soon as the animal was gone I darted forward to get a drink. I lapped up the water quickly. It was refreshing. I didn’t even question why I was drinking like a fox. After my drink I look into my reflection for the first time as a fox.

It looked like a regular fox face but unique all the same. It was my face. I had unique snout and whiskers. My face had a few scratches from me running in the woods. I looked at rest of my body. Some dirt was attached to my fur and a leaf was stuck to my tail. I nip the leaf off and looked back at the stream. An unanticipated urge to swim came over me. I guess I need a bath.  I dived into the water to wash myself off. It was pleasantly cool. I got up and looked around for other animals. I began to walk around the woods some more but a new problem filled my mind. I was getting hungry. I need to eat.

I always wonder what a fox eats but that moment it came to me. I was omnivore but I carve meat. Berries were good yes but a juicy rabbit is what I needed. My human side was all but in control of my body.  The fox side was searching for food. I walk silently across the low grass. My nose was sniffing for warm, juicy rabbits. I couldn’t resist even if I wanted too. My body needs food and only a rodent will feed my hunger.

I walked up the hill and looked around for movement. My eyes were very good at detecting movement. There! I found a rabbit hopping around a bush. I crept along behind a tree. I paused. The rabbit stopped too. It detected movement close where I was at. The rabbit turned away from the tree and began eating some grass. That was when I strike.
I charge at the rabbit as it bended its head down to the grass. The rabbit looked up and bolted. It jumped over a small bolder as I was right behind it. Other rabbits scattered. The rabbit turned sharply right and I was quick to follow. Oh, the glories of hunting! I was neither a human stuck in a fox body nor a fox with a human conscious. I was just a fox hunting a rabbit. No one could tell the difference between me and regular foxes, not even me. The chase was over just as quickly as it began. I caught up with the rabbit and lunged. My jaw grabbed the rabbit’s back and twist. Blood squirt all around me. I broke the rabbit’s spine. The rabbit die quickly before I let it go. The rabbit lay where I dropped it for a moment before I went in to feed.

After I was fed my human mind woke up. I stared down at the bloody carcass of the rabbit. What was I doing? I was not an animal, I was human! My name is Jane… I didn’t know my last name. I try to recall but everything was a blur. Huger started to come back. I need to eat some more. I looked up. I could smell some more mammals nearby.  I dash across the field and into some bushes. I duck under them and stay still. I could hear mice scuttling under a pile of leaves. I took a step forward and charge.

I had eaten two mice and some berries before I started to recall some things of my human life for instance my full name. I was Jane Neilson, a human transformed into a fox. It was getting scary. If I let my fox instincts take over then I may lose my human side but if I let my human emotions get in the way of hunting then I will go hungry and may forget my human side forever. How I yearn to have both sides working together to help me survive. I need a perfect union of my fox and human side so I can get out of this mess. But even to me I realize it will be near impossible. Only a fox can live in the forest. So I must be a fox and forget my human side so I can live in the forest until I was change back.
		
I hunted another rabbit but didn’t eat it. Instead I kept it in my mouth and went looking for a place to hide. A human fox would have cringe for having a dead body in her mouth but it didn’t bother me. I need a place to hide it. I walked down the forest, looking for a place to put it. It could be mere minutes or days or even months but I found an area to burry my food. I dug my paws into a small patch of mossy dirt between two trees. I soon had a good enough hole for my food. I dropped my food and store it under some leaves and dirt. I looked around the area around me. It was small area that had beautiful trees surrounding it. The trees roughly formed into a circle around a small hill. I walked forward, sniffing the path around the hill.

A small hole was in the hill. It could have been a den of another creature perhaps another fox. But this den stood cold and empty for now. I heard some of water trickling for a stream nearby. I looked at all the birds above be tweeting. It was a perfect home. I could get water and find food easily. I look at my den. It was small but comfortable. I check again to make sure I am not intruding another animal’s home. Once the cost was clear I went into my den. I was suddenly tired. I looked at a spot to lie down. This was a perfect area to raise my pups. My human side tries to take control but I stop it. I can’t panic, not now. I was startled of the idea of becoming a mother fox but right now that isn’t the main concern. All I need to do is survive I thought as I fell asleep.

I woke up to darkness. Night has fallen and the air was moist. It must of rain when I was asleep. I stepped out to the dark forest. I could see every detail of the area around me still clearly. I sniff the air for any predators. Night has fallen and no one was out. Good, I thought and I head towards the deep part of the forest. My faded human side wondered what was I doing up after a few hours of sleep but I knew the answer. Foxes were nocturnal therefore I need to be.  Was I thirsty? No. Was I hungry? No. Was I going to explore? Yes. I went down past a tree where something was disturbed. A flash of light came from above and I looked up. Lighting was moving across the sky. 

I scurry down past a tree. The wind to pick up and rain was beginning to fall. I could sense it. I sense the storm was nearby but not close enough to do damage. I went around a small ditch when I smell something was off. There was something in the pit. The wind blew away from the pit. I got to find out what was in there. I was walk towards the other side when I caught some movement. I froze. Then a large figure rose from the pile of leaves. It was a human. The human looked around the area and set it eyes on me. It was the same human in the woods earlier. I backed away as my human side became strong and have power over my body. I looked at the human.

The figure didn’t looked familiar even in my human life. This human was male. He was lean and fit. He wore black, flexible armor that covered his body. I could see knives lining around his waist. He looked almost like an assassin or a ninja. He face was cover with gas mask with night vision goggles set. The human set his eyes on me. I knew I had to run but not yet. My human mind had to find the perfect escape and my fox mind sense something. The human stepped up from the pit.

I bolted. The man from shadows pulled something from the abyss of leaves he was laying in just moments ago. I didn’t looked back to see what it was. I jumped over a log and ran under tall grass. I lay quietly and silently under the grass. The human stepped out of the shadows between the trees. Thunder echoed from the distance. This human must know I am not like regular foxes. I crouched even lower. The human had a large dart gun that looked like it could take down a bear. He aim his gun around the bushes I past on my way to the hiding spot I was in. I stepped back. A twig snapped. The human straighten up. He heard me. I had to run but could I escape before he shots me.

Then a flash of light and fire rain down on us. With animal instinct I leap from the tall grass and up a hill. A flaming tree limb landed on the spot I was moments ago. The human yelled. I could see him. I concentrated on running up the hill and away from my predator. By mere luck lightning struck the tree above us and put a fiery path between me and my predator. I darted down the hill towards a stream that I heard from my den. I leap over a rock and down on soft, muddy ground. The ground was a blessed relief for my feet. They ached from running a lot. I gasped as I try to catch my breath.

I drank some water from the stream. As I stiff for enemies my human mind was thinking. I had an enemy and he might work for the scientist. He was coming from the shadows. I looked around the woods. He was not here now. I know his sent and I realized something. He wasn’t the one who was near the human den which means he is not alone. I began to walk down the stream bank. I have more predators. I need to trick them. Only a fox with a human conscious survive this predicament I thought as I walked down the bank, ready to face my next problem.


== '''Entry 3: June 22''' ==


I was traveling for who knows how long. I occasionally drank some water from the stream, still cautious of my predators. It must be well past midnight. The moon was shining brightly over the trees across the bank.  Wind whistled around me. I looked up from the water. I saw something moving in the bushes. I thought of the human and ran down towards my den. I didn’t go directly but continued downstream. I let my fox side take over. The only way I can find home again. I looked up the menacing branches above me. An owl flew down and over my head, towards a field mouse. The sight of the hunt made me ache with hunger and longing. But I ignore the feeling and went down stream some more.

I stop after a few minutes or an hour. Time had no meaning to me now. I looked over down the path. The path leads to a cliff. I could hear the rapids from here. No animal would have been able to survive the waterfall and the river below. I looked around the area to see if anyone was following. No movement came. I sighed. I started going back to my home when I realize something. I was a fox for an entire day. It seems longer. I couldn’t imagine being a fox for any longer. I might as well be a fox for the rest of my life if I spent more than a week as fox. There would have been no way I would be able to keep my humanity for long.

My journey home was uneventful until I found a snake crawling around in the grass. Before I could think about it I pounced on the snake. My teeth ripped through the cold skin. To keep my human side from being gross out I thought of the human. I gave my new predator a name. He was the Shadow and he was hunting me. All I can do is escaped until I found out what was going on. If there were indeed more people working in the forest then only a fox will be to out run them and only a human could understand what was going on. I stood up and headed to my den.

A movement caught my eye and I turned around. A fox jumped from the bushes. The fox pounce on a rabbit that was trying to escape. I dived to the creature but it was too late. The other fox snapped on the head. My heart pounded with lust to hunt and watching the kill. I realized that this fox was a male. A sudden desire fell upon me. I suddenly had a new need. I want this male.  He was my mate and he could father my pups. But first he had to prove himself to me. Was he strong? I stepped forward to examine him more. The male fox looked up. I stopped moving. The male fox titled its head curiously. I needed to attach him. I stepped sideways, letting my body be seen. Then my human side snapped awake. I swerve my body away from the male fox and bolted to the forest. My male fox started to follow me but stop after a few yards. I leap over a log going over what happen.

I couldn’t last even a day without being attracted to a male fox how do I expect to have my human side until I can find out how I could untransformed myself? I didn’t even bother to recall my memories. All I know is that I was human once and I could understand this from a human mind. But that was it. I doubt I could read, add or even speak. It won’t be long until my fox needs will come more important than my human needs. I had to live with it.

It wasn’t even that bad. I mean I could worry about my human side but foxes don’t worry. Everything would be much simpler if I was a fox. I will be just a fox with no human worries, conflicts or even emotions. But I will disappear completely. Could I live with myself if I stay a fox? I didn’t know but one thing was clear. It wasn’t up to me to survive. It was up to fate. If there was a point that I could cry was right there. I felt upset. I was trapped in the jungle. I was no longer control of the direction I was going.

After I was walking through the forest I stopped at my home. I went a few feet from my den and dug up my dead rabbit. I ate it quickly and looked up at the sky. Dawn will arrive and I was getting tired. I headed to my den. I stop right outside my den, staring inside the hole. Right then I did the most human act I ever did when I was a fox. I threw myself on the ground and started to cry. Or at least try to cry, foxes don’t usually cry that much. My fox side was wondering what I was doing. My human side wanted to cry out to the world, hurt something until the pain goes away. I was trapped. How could I even think of transforming myself back to human when I doubt that there is a way? I was stuck this way! This was a full blown, painful experience for me at that moment. I picked myself up and walk back into my den. I realized then if not later that I was still human and I feel pain like a human. But if I don’t become human again then my spirit will give up and my life will want a wild but simple life as a fox. It was also then that I realized I like being a fox. I couldn’t let go of my fox side. I couldn’t explain the feeling even if I knew what it was like. All I could tell is I like being something different and wild. Before I could ponder this anymore I feel into the deep void of sleep. This time however I had a dream. 

''My back was against a smooth, cool surface.  I was staring up at the sky. The sky was a deep black and the only light was coming from behind my head. I sat up. I was in a room. The sky was merely a ceiling and the light was coming from behind a close door. I was in a human den. I growled and sniff for humans. But no human was in the room. It looked empty. I move towards the door but I was going so slowly. I looked down to see what had a hold of my body. I had no body. All I saw was the wooden floor below me. I was invisible or did even have a body? I was empty and lost. Who was I? I wanted out.

At that thought the door open to an entire white room. The room had a bright light that seems to be pulsing with life. The light was part of me and I must get it. I hovered towards the door. Wind blew around me and I felt myself being drawn towards the white room. I panicked. I didn’t want to be drawn so close but I was being sucking in. Suddenly I was in the white room. The door close shut behind me. I looked around me in the white room. It was foggy or at least I couldn’t see anything far. I took a deep breath. The air calmed me down. I felt better. The light of this room was generating from the walls, ceiling and the floor. The light was warming me up. I was beginning to feel again. Then something accord to me. If I could feel then I must have a body. I looked down. 

I was looking at my body. I had body, a human body! I looked at my fingers. I had them. They work and flex like real human finger. I let out a surprise gasp.  I looked at the rest of my body. My feet were there. My legs were there. I looked normal. I reached for my face. It was normal. I have my normal face.  I have my dark, red hair. I have my small nose. I looked around me. The room was still warm but my body felt cold. I hug myself, trying to keep myself warm.  I realized that I was naked or the fog didn’t give me clothes. I looked for a way to escape but the room seems endless. I walked deeper in the fog. My cold body shivered. My heart was beginning to desire to be a fox again.  How I wish I had fur coat! 

No sooner has my mind thought of that my body began to felt weird. I fell to the ground. No, I thought. It was happening again. I felt the same way as the night before.  I was torn. I saw the choice right then and there. I have to be human or a fox and different sides of me want to be different. I felt a tail growing out of my back.  My ears began to ache. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to change yet I want to change. Can I be both? I thought. Then the transformation stopped although my body still itched. I scratch my body and got up to the floor. I felt different. I did feel like a human but I felt like a fox too. I didn’t what I was.

A mirror appeared in the floor. The fog cleared away and showed me my reflection. I was human mainly. But I had a fox tail and ears. Red fur also covers most of my body. My body and face was still human. My hands and feet were mainly human but I had black, velvety pads beneath them now. I was startled by my appearance but I felt content. I was looking at the figure both sides of my body want. I was half fox and half human. I heard of these figures from Japan. They were called foxgirls. They were a part of group of anthropomorphic figures called furries. I looked at my new body with hope. This could be the answer. But how do I reach for it?

The reflection was shaking. I saw image quaked and then disappeared. I stepped back. The glass was breaking. I saw cracks forming on the mirror. Something was moving in the mirror. I suddenly smell danger. I stepped away slowly. Something was in the mirror. Then a blast shook the room. Shadow emerged from the floor. I stood facing him, his dart gun loaded.  For one moment we stood staring at each other. Then Shadow raised his gun. Instinctively I jumped from the ground and towards Shadow. I raised my claw hand and slam it on his head.'' 

I woke up. Sunlight was pouring through my den. I looked around to see what woke me up. I smell danger was nearby. I crouched down, listening for intruders. It was late afternoon. The birds were silent and everything was still. Someone was invading my home. I hissed. This is my turf. I shall protect it with all my strength. I looked out carefully. A figure was walking right out of my turf. It was a human but was it the Shadow? I step slowly out of my den. I realized it was a different and less threatening human. He was wearing hiking boots and shorts with a flannel shirt. I saw no weapons on him. He was looking around the area, brushing his salt and pepper hair every so often. But little did this human know that I was right behind him. I crouched down holding my ears out for any movement. The wind blew across the area. I smell a peppermint sent coming from this human. It took all my human effort from attacking this human. It was good thing I was hidden.

“I can’t seem to find subject 35 anywhere.” The human was saying on a phone in a cool voice. The human was the same one who made sure no one would figure out what happen to me and might have bombed my human dwelling.  My parents probably think I ran away or something before they left the house. I looked up at the human. He must be a scientist. I stepped to the side so he wouldn’t see me if he turned around. The tall grass and bush kept me well hidden in forest. The human walked down to a path that went around my turf. I held my breath. If he was looking for me around here and finds the den then he would put two and two together. I got to keep my human safe. I went to charge when another voice came from out of the trees.

“Max, I think I found 35.” said a high, feminine voice. A tall human female with platinum blond hair came out of the trees. She wore cameo pants with a black t-shirt. She was armed with a gun. A real, deadly gun that she held tightly in her right hand. She also had taser and dart gun equip to her belt. She would not look out of place in an army camp. The army women step towards the guy called Max. Max got of his cell phone and looked up. 

“The Chief is busy at the moment and was at a meeting when I called.” Max said putting away his cell phone. “Terry, I hope for your sake that you actually found Subject 35. The boss would not be happy of us jumping at every fox we see. He will begin to think we lost our subject.” 

“Well, don’t tell him every reporting we have.” The army women called Terry said. “But like all this matters: our Subject will lose her humanity if she doesn’t return to human form. I like to know why we even bother doing this if we know the results!”

“The Chief and I know the results.”  Max said in the same cool voice. “If we want to make sure we have everything right then we can test our theory. That is what we plan to do. The drug’s effects may vary. But we won’t stop until we know ever effect. We are scientist.”

“Sorry, said Terry curtly. “I didn’t know this we so important. Are we going to check this fox or not? It won’t be long before the police are murder by-“

“Yes, I know he is impatient.” Max said and he ran down the path, followed by Terry.

I waited in the bush for awhile. I have absorbed what I heard with great interest. So these scientists were the ones who did this to me. I was there subject and they were using me for an experiment. I dashed out of the bush. My fox side was happy that no humans had invaded my turf. But I need to follow the humans in order to untransformed. I ran quickly down the path towards the scent of humans. They were my predators but also the key to transform me into a Foxgirl, the only form that I will be truly happy with and to survive the human’s wrath. Max, Terry, and Shadow were flashing past my mind. My human side was going crazy. Not only was I going near the enemy but I depended on them to change me to my true form. I knew they won’t help me but if I found how they change me then I will use it to my own benefit. That was when I will fight back.

I ran past a giant tree and towards the sound of voices. I try to go over the conversation in my head. They say a drug turned me into a fox but what did I take that had the drug in it? There was no way they could put the drug into me. I never saw any of them before. Still if I could get a hold of the drug then maybe I could become my true form. I walk across a fallen rock pile and into a ditch full of plants. I saw a cage with a fox in it. It was no doubt was the same fox I meet earlier. It was my mate! My fox mind cries out. The male fox which I called Red was stepping away from cage doors. Terry and Max were looking down at the cage, waiting for Red to respond. Terry bent down and unlocked the cage door. Red try to back away but Terry grabbed his arm and dragged him out. I growled. How dare they treat my mate like that! This is my mate in my forest! I snarled as I crouched down. I was going to attack them right now. 

“How can we make sure this is her?” Terry asked, having a firm grip on Red.

I charged at them. I ran up and bit Max’s left arm. Max let out a cry of pain. Terry let go of Red out of shocked, giving him the opportunity to escape. I dug my sharp teeth deeper into Max’s arm. Terry drew out her gun and fired at me. I let go quickly and precisely. The bullet went through Max’s arm and hit a tree. Birds flew quickly out of it.  I rolled on the ground and growled at my predators. None of them could kill me. Terry was nothing without her gun and Max was too weak. I leap forward and pounced on Terry. Terry toppled down to the ground, her gun flying to the tall grass behind her. I growled at her, making myself look intimidating. Terry was not scared.  She threw her fist at me, hoping to knock me to the ground. I jumped out the way and dash to a good spot to attack.

“Wait, this might be here.” Max said, hold his bleeding arm. He pulled out the DNA gun and fired at me. I try to move out of the way but the ray hit me. I felt its warmth filled my body. I looked at Max as he wore a grin of triumph. He smiled as he put the gun down.

“Hello, Jane. We what you are or should I say was.” Max said in his cool voice. “We can turn you back to human. Just come with us. It will be all right. Your family will be okay and no harm done. Now walk into the cage.”

“Are you sure it is her?”  Terry asked but I never heard him give an answer.

I ran down between them, hoping to follow my mate, Max growled angrily as he went towards me. I didn’t turn back. I was already ahead of him by twenty feet. I could hear him crashing through the forest like a huge animal. I jump over a bush and duck under a tree. I was almost out of their vision. Then something heavy came down.  Shadow stood in front of me, holding his dart gun. I couldn’t move in time. There was no escape. Shadow shot the gun and it hit me in the shoulder. I staggered and fell. My body felt weak, I couldn’t think straight. I was dizzy. I try to get up but fell back down. I was going to sleep when my three predators surround me. I was at their mercy.

				*	*	*
“Are sure we didn’t hurt her?” said a disorder voice.

The voices were coming all around me. I open my eyes, my vision was a blur but I could tell I was in a cage. I felt the floor moving beneath me. I left my head up, trying to clear my hazy vision. My mouth felt dry and my body aches. I looked at my body, still a fox body. I try to get up but a familiar cool voice came from behind me.

“I’m sure we didn’t” the voice of Max said “The dart didn’t have enough tranquilizers to knock her out for more than two hours. Besides I handle her with care unlike Ch-”

I pass out again. Voice kept going in and out of my head.

“We should be careful with Subject 35.” said one voice

“Now I like to see him take down the police.” said another voice. “If it weren’t for him the cops would have caught us before we could get her. I hope Dr.-”

“Is that them?”

“No, keep driving down the road.”

“They block the road.” 

“Drive in the forest.” A voice yelled. “They can’t stop us yet.”

I woke out of my daze suddenly, like someone set off a grenade beside me. I looked around my cage. My fox body felt my cage move beneath me. I was in a car. I hear rain hitting the roof of my cage rapidly.  The cage swerved sharply to the right, sending me flying against the cage wall. I staggered and fell on my back. I looked outside my cage.

I was in the back of a pick-up truck that must be going at least 100 mph. My fox side was scared but my human side was determined. I had to escape, there was no way they were going to put be in a lab. Lightning flashed above the woods and thunder echoed menacing. The car turned again. My cage rolled over and smash against the truck’s floor. I pick myself up. Another set of lights were coming from all around me. They were red and blue. The police were here.  I went to the side of the cage when Max spoke again.

“We got to release her.” His voice carried over the pounding rain. “Luckily I put enough of the drug to keep her in fox form for at least two weeks or more. She won’t be able to go to the police or her family. I swear if she tells Nick Mason anything we are doom.”

“Forget Nick and tell me where our back-up is.” Terry yelled at Max as she narrowly dodged a tree. “I can’t keep the cops off my tail. The Chief should be prepared for this.”

Look out!” Max yelled.

CRASH! I was sent flying through the air. I let out a cry. My cage was souring above the woods and heading straight down to a river. I back away from the door but I knew it was too late. The cage plunged into the dark waters. Water gushed up through the cage and into my face. I felt myself being pushed again the wall of the cage. The cage floated up to the top quickly. I drew a breath as soon as the cage surface. I felt the cage sinking and getting dragged downstream. The cage twisted around. I had to escape.

I pushed myself off the way and slammed against the cage door. All I did however we dented it. I did it again and again, hoping to break the cage open. But nothing would break the door open. I felt the cage sinking even lower into the river. I was soaked and the water was rising above my head.  Then a sharp rock came and smash the door open. I leap out the cage and swim out of the cage as quickly as I could. Rain and wind pushed against my face. I took a deep breath and swam towards the banks. It wasn’t easily but I manage to get to the river bank.

I shook myself dry even though it was still raining. I looked up at the cliff were two humans were watching me. I have escaped my predators with valuable information. If the drug wears off then I would be human again. Then I would show these scientist who they are messing with. I turned quickly to the woods. All I have to worry about is keeping my humanity for two weeks so I can get my true form. But who will help me? I knew the answer. Nick and my brother Rob are the only ones I could trust to help me. But first I had to stay in the woods for a bit longer. My name is Jan the Fox. I was a human transform into a fox and I will create an entire species of anthropomorphic human foxes. I just have to make it to the lab.


To be continued in Chapter 2.