User:Hawl/Aloha666 dircut

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Aloha 666

Author: Jessica Kylie Nichols-Vernon
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Contains depictions of extreme violence.
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Author’s Note: This story was inspired by, and could be considered a tribute to the infamous creepypasta “Sonic.EXE” which is not featured on shifti.org, but has many “Let’s Read” and “Re-Enactment” videos on Youtube for anyone unfamiliar with it. This story was given the Director’s Cut Treatment instead of being pulled and retconned like the rest of “Together We RIDE” and “Ominverse OverRIDE”, due to both how short it is and it containing some important background on the characters of Lucille and Aristo.

-146 AL, Halloween Night (October 30th on the Zharusian Calendar), Aloha-

Tom was rubbing his hands together with a sinister smile. His move to Zharus was the single greatest idea his eccentric mind came up with. He had gone from sitting on the streets of Earth begging for a way to drown his (her at the time) anguish in booze to owning big beautiful buildings in every polis. Some of these structures were casinos, and some of them were museums dedicated to rare artifacts of the early 21st Century, and all of them (except for the ones in Sturmhaven) had his smiling mug on the cover. He was no Steader, but he’d never have to stand in line at a foodbank ever again. No more ramen, expired soups, or rotted fruits for him. The finest delicacies the galaxy had to offer delivered by a golden drone for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

What better way to celebrate this success than with a party. It was a good night for one considering that tonight was Halloween. A ghoulish spectacle was planned, one full of fright, fun, fantasy, and horror. One that some big shakers would be attending. So tonight had to be exceptionally scary, one guest would be coming early to make just that happen, or rather three would. In fact, they were at the door now.

Tom was just answering it, he didn’t want anyone, not even the staff to get there before him and spoil the surprise. Just as he hoped when he heard the bell he saw a young woman in a skunk fuser with a small crate beside her. “Aristo I assume, and the lovely lady you’re fused to is?”

“Lucille La Skunkette.” Aristo said dawning a french accent for Lucille's name only. “She’s something I’m beta-testing for a client’s kid.”

“Awfully big funbags for someone shopping for their daughter.” Tom observed, it wasn’t good manners nor business sense to stare at the breasts of the owner of a RIDE factory, but he had literally never seen them at such an obscene size. Aristo’s gender had changed every three years like clockwork since she arrived on the planet. Though wearing a Pleasure Support Armor in public? That was new territory for the individual.

“Actually it’s for his son…” Aristo corrected, adding a playful chuckle.

“That just raises further questions….” Tom was at a loss for words.

“Questions you shouldn’t be asking if you still want your product.” Aristo gave a sinister looking glare before she continued talking. “I don’t know whether to thank you or to claw your eyes out. This was a difficult project. The sheer nightmare of size and anatomy alone, not to mention other things you wanted. To be honest the whole thing would be undoable without a heavily retrofitted hardlight generator. I must say, if you hadn’t have paid such a hefty fee in combination with me needing to test a few hypotheses I would have turned you down due to just how adrouous of a task this was. I’ve been pulling all-nighters for the past 6 Days. It’s nice to finally unwind at such an extravagant party as tonight promises to be.”

“I imagine you’ll get tons of looks. You know it’s a costume party right.” Tom didn’t see a change of clothes on her, just the crate which he assumed contained tonight’s big surprise.

Aristo grinned and snapped her fingers, her simple red silk dress turned to pale white rags. Aristo’s hair turned black and stood up tall with a white streak flowering through it, her neck formed a stitch line as if her head had been sown on, small bolts forming under her cheeks like quaint jewelry. Of course this was all done with a hardlight generator. After this transformation Aristo and Lucille made a provocative pose that Tom couldn’t keep his eyes off of for as long as it was maintained. Was it really the pose or could it be that scent from Lucille’s tail? It took him a second to notice it but the air did get more pleasant smelling when Aristo showed up. The things that could be done with a few hormonal remedies and an air-conditioning unit.

“You know I’m not exactly Mother Theresa myself. Nor would I bring this up had I not already been paid. But don’t you think it’s a special kind of jackassery to construct an entire living being for the sake of one prank? RI minds are highly specialized. I can’t exactly put him in a normal DE after this. They aren’t like humans where you can make a tiny nanite aided adjustment and suddenly you can’t even imagine the commodity of pissing while standing..” Aristo warned with true conviction and a strong wave of the finger. A gesture contradicted as she stepped inside the house with only a shrug. “Of course not like you can do anything with this warning now. Our friend already exists.”

Tom paused, of course he didn’t think about that. RIDEs were full-on living beings weren’t they? He didn’t fully consider that, he rarely spent time around them. He used a rental during a Dry Ocean Tour years ago, still had the tags and Y chromosome, gained that day. Tom didn’t mind what the RIDE had turned him into, he however didn’t see what one could do for him that was worth sharing his life with some glorified pet.

“I have to admit, not being a Rider myself I have to wonder. Why did you construct him then?” He asked, opening the crate and looking over what he ordered. Indeed it was exactly to his specifications. Though now he was pondering the moral aspect of it and wondering if the show should go on.

“I’m not exactly Mother Theresa myself.” Aristo laughed, before looking over Tom’s own squirrely ears and tail. “Wait, so the tags aren’t from your current RIDE? Well maybe you could use our friend here as your main RIDE. Well that may make business odd, but…. It’s just a shame a masterpiece like this may see a long time in a storage shed.”

“No, I used one a long time ago, and never had the results reversed.” Tom put the lid back over the brilliance he saw and swallowed. He did have a bit of a responsibility himself. “We’ll talk it over… after the party. Me and him.”

“I think you’ll have to.” Aristo smiled ominously. It was going to be one hell of a night.

-That Night-

Now a Rainbow’s Tale isn’t quite as nice

As the story we knew of sugar and spice

But a Rainbow’s easy once you get to know it

With the help of the magic of a Pegasus Device

Let’s delve deeper into Rainbow Philosophy

Beyond that of Cloudsdale's Mythology

-Rainbow Factory, The Living Tombstone.

The party was a success. There were decorations about, replicas of old posters of TwenCen gore films. Tom’s favorite of these was of Friday The 13th Part VIII:Jason Takes Manhattan. The 8th entry was one of the weaker of the Friday films in Tom’s opinion, but the poster was delightful from an artistic standpoint. The familiar hockey mask-clad face of the legendary killer bursting through the heart of the old “I <3 NEW YORK”, logo New Yorktropolis used prior to the nuclear wars over Earth’s last caches of oil.

Tom had real versions of these posters, but they were behind protected glass and on prominent display at his Aloha Museum for part of its own Halloween Event. No one with a piece that rare would dare leave it hanging on the wall with a ton of drunks around. Scary music played, mostly Twencen movie themes and horror game tribute songs, though there were a few things from the early 24th Century just to keep the guests on their toes.

“I love this song. It reminds me of my factory back in Venars.” Aristo said as she danced, though it wasn’t too enthusiastically as her overly large breasts got in the way and made dancing quite difficult. Though it did get some attention, some that lead to her having a quickie in one of the guest bedrooms with one of the owners of an Uplift weapons company. Oh how Aristo loved living on a planet where a man can spend a few years as a woman whenever she felt like it. Though it was a sign that Lucille was working, she was designed to talk her wearer into lustful circumstances and toight she was being a naughty little thing. Aristo actually had to defuse to avoid tearing up the sheets of her host’s house a second time.

“That’s never something the CEO of a RIDE company should say…” Spoke a major shareholder in Tom's company who had dolled up his walrus RIDE to appear undead.

“She’s not exactly Mother Theresa.” Lucille spoke up with an obvious degree of nervousness to her voice, defused and danced near Aristo. Truthfully she was afraid of her, but instructed never to leave her side and her fetters meant she had to obey. “Trust me, I would know.”

“What she said.” Aristo laughed, mentally ordering Lucille to laugh with her. Which she did, but it sounded very forced.

The clock struck 29:95 and suddenly the sound system began playing this eerie backwards tone. Everyone seemed freaked out, nothing else was scary. There was a halloweenish theme to it with stories about things of a creepy nature, but not something you’d straight up hear on a serial killer’s playlist. Which this would definitely qualify as. Only Aristo smiled.

“Are you sure this is a good idea Ms. Enroygall?” Lucille asked with a whisper, not wanting to give the prank away.

“Don’t speak out of line idiot skunk!” Aristo raised her voice, kicked Lucille in the stomach. It didn’t hurt, but the intention was clear. Lucille hoped this Simon person she was built for had compassion, as Aristo clearly didn’t.

More people panicked as the vid-screens that had previously been showing clips of horror movies now just froze in place with a screen that showed a vicious creature with jagged teeth. It looked like an animal, but what specific kind no one could place. covered in blood that read. “I AM GOD” in blood red text. It was working and people were scared. A Cape Nord arms trader who had been in the crowd was so focused on retaining his composure that he literally forgot to breathe, only fear of being seen unmanly kept him standing.

That was nothing compared to what happened only thirty seconds. All the lights went out, except for two red glowing eyes that appeared in the back. A voice called out. “So many souls, so little time. Wouldn’t you all agree?”

People were screaming their heads off, all but Aristo who watched with glee.

The lights came back on and saw a blue hedgehog fuser covered in blood who took a bow. Everyone clapped realizing this had to be Tom inside of a RIDE.

“Hehe.. you got us good.” a bat fuser walked up, dressed like dracula. “Nice RIDE Tom. Very Genesis…”

What happened next was a scare for Tom. He tried everything he could to stop it, but his RIDE grabbed the throat of the bat fuser who came up and squeezed it hard. It was actually damaging the RIDE heavily and choking the fuser. “You’re too slow!” he called out

:What are you doing Exe? The joke’s over. We can stop now…: Tom begged. He tried the de-fuse command but it wasn’t working.

:So many souls, so little time. Wouldn’t you agree?: Was the only response he got from the RIDE. Tom could only watch in horror as his RIDE threw the bat fuser and started lashing out with bladed red claws, enhanced with artificial diamond. The party was swiftly abandoned by everyone who valued their life. Many tried to dial out for help, but an attempt to communicate outside of the manor just got the “I AM GOD” message in their mind’s eyes.

:You’re ruining me Exe! I’ll give you whatever you want.. Just stop hurting people.: Tom begged, trying his hardest to keep the weapons system from activating. This couldn’t have been some glitch or flub. Why did Aristo put a weapons system on Exe? He never told that wretched wench to do that, and he certainly never got billed for one.

:Let me be straightforward with you Tom. Aristo’s a swell gal, she told me that after this prank. I’m going into storage for who knows how long. I’m going to raise as much hell as I want tonight. It’s my only night. So I’m making it count! I bet I can kill someone. Want to see me try?: A display screen showed up in the HUD which read. “Watch Exe kill someone? Y/N”,

“N! N!” Tom screamed, but the text changed to read “TOO BAD!”

Exe ran outside and managed to activate one of the weapons. A wrist mounted cannon that fired a plasma shot in a hoop formation. Exe shot at random people on the streets, most had taken the advice of the fleeing partygoers and ran. Some however stupidly stayed behind to see what the fuss was all about. Luckily Tom was retaking some control, not enough to stop Exe’s rampage, but some control nonetheless. “I’m not letting you kill anyone!”

“I never asked permission!” Exe screamed aloud. Causing property damage instead of loss of life thanks to Tom managing to fuddle with the targeting systems. Tom could feel himself getting weaker as Exe began assaulting his mind harder. “Why won’t you let me kill anyone? Regardless. It doesn’t matter now what happens. This should keep you quiet!”

Toml gasped in horror as he found himself in a virtual environment amounting to a small iron box with a small opening in it to let him see what Exe was doing. The walls of the iron box began to bleed red and form disturbing messages. “You can’t save them!” and “YOUR FAULT!” being only two of them

Aristo re-fused with Lucille and watched from a safe distance. Soon the Aloha PD would show up to pick a fight. It was time to initiate the part of this she was really looking forward to. :Live Forced Integration Test 001 - Initiate, C-CAP PROTOTYPE GO!:

Exe upon hearing the sirens retreated to an alleyway where he found a lone human hiding from the chaos. “Oh goodie, someone to play with at close range..” He said.

The man backed away slowly. He wanted to run, but fear had locked his legs into place. This inability to get his Flight or Fight reaction going would have have painful consequences. As Exe began clawing into the man’s shoulder who screamed in agony.

“What… what are you?” The man said, a tear rolling down his cheek from the pain. He was holding his bloodied arm, most certain he was about to die. He closed his eyes and muttered a silent prayer. This was it. Halloween Night and he was getting killed by an ancient horror story. What a horribly clichéd way to go.

“What you see is what you get. Just a RIDE that loves murder and mayhem! I’m Exe The Hellion!” Exe smiled wide and attempted a slash to the throat, but before it could connect he spaced out for a second and began twitching.

The man took this as his cue to run like hell. Exe didn’t notice as he began glitching out. Internally things got weirder as Tom saw his prison melting and parts of it that touched him seemed to become a part of him. Noticing this he tried in vain to open the door, but it only expedited the process until it encased him and melted down even more. Into the shape of a cartoon hedgehog. Then things became dark for a while.

It was about two hours before Exe came to. Upon booting up he felt different, his mind was calmer yet confused. What didn’t help was that he found himself now covered in a slick silver sludge. The urge to kill was gone, yet he still felt rambunctious and responsible. Was this Tom’s doing? No it couldn’t have been, he didn’t sense Tom in him anymore. Yet he was bipedal, so there had to be a hopeless bodyjacked pilot. Or was HE Tom? That didn’t make sense he clearly looked like Exe. What was this? He didn’t even know who or what he was anymore. Calmly he took a deep breath inward and walked out of the alleyway.

Waiting for him was Aristo, or rather Lucille, Aristo was asleep. Though Lucille was instructed to wake Aristo when Exe came to. Which she did. “Hmhmhm hello Exe. I’ve instructed the police as to your whereabouts. Or rather Lucille’s doing it right now. Well the girl has to be good for something. Should be nice.”

“What did you do to me! What am I?” The being asked, he still had one hell of a headache. “I can’t access the net…”

“Oh Tom, you and Exe are going to be together a long time. See this is a pet project of mine.” Aristo smiled oh so smugly. “I’ve been working on a method of controlling RIDEs. There seems to be a helpful little side-effect I don’t fully understand that forces a user to Integration. I do long to evolve beyond flesh and metal, but that will have to wait for this to be perfected. Once it is I will be the most powerful being on Zharus. Do you really think anyone would make a RIDE as complex as you and only have you shine for one stupid joke? I could have just loaned you a stand alone hardlight generator for that. No, you’re a monster for life, just as I intended. And if you want any future as anyone at all. You’ll give me one hell of a show.”

“You asshole! I’m, do you really think I can run a business like this? Look at me!” The thing that Exe and Tom became said.

Aristo offered Exe/Tom a hand mirror which they used look himself? themselves? over. Exe Noticed had an inverted pentagram on his stomach, the numbers 666 on his forehead, and red splatters all over his body. All glowing red. “People are going to think I am a freak.”

“You are a freak. That’s not hardlight, you have real fur darling. But, you are also a thing of beauty, I hope to be like you one day. So deadly, so amazing. I can’t wait to see how you fare against the police.” One could just taste the delight Aristo felt, simply by hearing her voice. “The combat data I can collect from you is incredible.”

“I’m not going to play your game Aristo.” Whatever he was now, he was leaving Aloha to lay low for awhile

“Oh? Well, if you don’t I won’t give you the anti-virus for your condition.” Aristo warned, this was of course a lie. What happened to Tom and Exe was permanent.

“I bet I can beat it out of you before the police arrive.” He said, clenching his fist as he walked towards Aristo.

“Hands on? Alright I’ll play along. Lucille, don’t you fuck this up for me.” Aristo ignited the green plasma blade of a beam sword she carried on her person for self-defense purposes. Aristo made the first move slashing Exe through the stomach. A move that seemed to have failed as Exe vanished into thin air just before the hit connected.

“You’re going to die.” A voice came from behind her, forcing her to turn around. Aristo could feel her cold black stop for a brief second.

“You’re already learning great use of your powers. You turned invisible and left a softlight hologram in your place.” Aristo clasped her RIDE’s paws in sheer bliss. “Ha, I’m in danger. Fascinating.”

“You catch on pretty quick. Mom.” The creature was enjoying the scare tactic route, so much so that the part of them that was Tom agreed it wouldn’t be so bad to start going by Exe. It was Halloween Night, okay November 1st morning technically. If one was to be turned against their will into a hideous bastardization of modern science and given an urge to go on a rampage this was the time for it.

Aristo ignited Lucille’s palm flamethrower and burned the hedgehog in front of her, which rapidly burned away to blackened bones. This should have seemed too easy but Aristo’s own desire to dominate the will of others made him take too much delight in what it seemed she had accomplished.. But this was nothing more than another hologram, as Exe blasted from the side. Knocking Aristo and Lucille into a wall. “Did you manage to trick me?”

“I may be your little Integrate, but I’m no one’s fool. You’ve ruined me Aristo and now I’m going to ruin you. Unless you give me the cure.” Exe grinned charging his gun, only to get a shotgun blast from Lucille through him. One that phased right through him as if he were a ghost. He predicted Aristo would retaliate and while invisible kicked her side before reappearing. “I’m starting to enjoy this. It’s almost a shame you’re about to cure me.”

“No I’m not! There’s no cure for your condition. But I will give you the chance to join my personal army. Anyone who can get the drop on me this easily I can use.” Aristo offered, trying to regain balance as she swallowed a lump in her throat. “I’m your last chance for getting back to a normal life, I made you into this. If anyone understands what you are more than I, they’re locked up behind a desk in Nextus where you’ll need to sign three forums to just find a bathroom, let alone figure yourself out.”

“Yeah, I bet you could use me. Use me up till I’m as wrinkled as a raisin in the sun.” Five of Exe appeared before Aristo, all brandishing their claws. Their red glowing eyes got brighter as they began to cry blood. “But without your limbs attached, no one can use you.”

“STEP AWAY FROM HER, OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!” Shouted a woman in a mare RIDE and an APD Uniform holding a gun so massive it looked like it had been fabbed by the ghost of Rob Liefeld himself. So gargantuan was this firearm that Aristo and Exe had to pause and look at it for a few seconds just to register the weapon was indeed real. It looked like a shotgun with three miniguns in place of a chamber, a pistol for a scope, and two rocket launchers on the side. The weapon was as comical as could be.

“....What with THAT!?! What comic book did you pull that from?” Exe buried his blood covered (All of it fake blood of his own design to complete the look) face into his gnarled claw covered hand.

“If you are what I think you are, then I can’t take any chances!” The woman screamed, cocking her weapon and keeping it pointed directly at the living creepypasta, dead center on his red glowing eyes.

“....Yeah, but, seriously?” Exe groaned, getting his yellow jagged teeth. “You know as a former Earther it’s hard enough to take you seriously when your main form of defense is a robot fursuit, but that gun on top of it. Lady are you even trying to take this seriously?”

“This coming from Edgy McTryHard…. Stand down or I’ll shoot, and so will the men, women, and RIDEs behind me!” The horse fuser warned angrily, making a very equine snorting noise.

Exe simply walked towards the mare-adorned maiden with a slasher smile. Humming an eerie backwards tune. Many shots were fired at his direction, but none of them seemed to affect anything. Anything, except of course, businesses and parked skimmers were facing serious damages. Someone even managed to have their arm and parts of their shoulder torn off by police artillery. The Alohan PD would later pay the tab for the nano-surgery, plus some whip cream on top for personal suffering.

Still the woman kept firing, transfixed on how she was doing nothing to damage Exe. Her RIDE and herself were both sure they were hitting him. There was a moment when Exe was hit right between the eyes, but even that failed to do a damn thing. It didn’t even make the ghastly horror flinch. What was this thing? She had thought it was an Integrate, a creature found in tall tales told by Q-Miners that people too quickly disregarded as just the modern day equivalent of Bigfoot, but could this creature be something far worse? “Are you… a ghost?”

A chill was felt as she felt someone’s breath behind her, or rather her RIDE did. “Go to sleep!” What happened next was an impressive, but terrible feat of strength as Exe literally forced his had through the mare RIDE’s back, the human’s skin, and CRUSHED a portion of the poor woman’s spine instantly paralyzing her. The woman fell to the ground while the RIDE did what it could to both doctor her and get out an SOS.

“There’s no time for games. Farewell!” And with that the demon was gone. Managing to sneak past the entire APD who spent the whole night looking for him in vain. Though he had just waltzed out the Dome’s front door, funnily enough singing a song about escaping from a city.

When the morning sun came Aloha had given up the search, officially the incident had been accurately labeled a Halloween prank gone horribly wrong. The Marshalls would be called in later that day to help with removing all traces of Integrate involvement and try to get some

Aristo de-fused from Lucille and looked at her with the flames of hell in her eyes. “You useless! It’s your fault Exe got away. It was a newly-born RIDE turned into an integrated creature he didn’t even understand, we should have been able to scrub all the floors on Zharus with his face. I should activate your pain sensors…”

“AAAAAAHHHH… No please.. Not again.. I’m not built for fighting, I was built for loving, by you.” Lucille started shaking, she had undergone this kind of punishment before. Every single pain receptor on Lucille’s body lighting up all at once for thirty seconds with such intensity that each second felt like five minutes, no she didn’t want that again. “Listen Aristo, wouldn’t you rather we fuse back up and I give you a full body massage with that little something extra?”

“I can’t stay mad at you Lucille. I overestimated my own abilities and asked you to do something you weren’t designed for. I had every reason to believe even a neophyte Integrate would be a challenge and it isn’t as if I’ve seen too many up close to begin with. ” Aristo said with a sigh as she scratched behind Lucille’s ears, fully intending to take her up on the massage offer at a later time. “Back to Venars you little slut…. I need to discuss with Shyver and Ximenas what, if anything, I need to do next.”

-Days Later In The Dry Ocean-

“Let the speed mend it, sand in my eyes I can’t see…. but I run still unphased.. all I am I seek is make believe…. just let the speed find it.” Tom.Exe sang to himself getting the words wrong as he wandered the dry ocean frantically. Both of the Integrate’s selves had talked things over a bit, if you could call it talking. It was more akin to a deep meditation. Exe was now on his own, a creature of solitude amongst the billion year drought all thanks to that bitch Aristo. The Tom part of him did feel remorse and even responsibility for this predicament. Exe never asked to be born, and a creature such as him never had a chance to live as anything other than something to be either joked about or despised. Much like many humans suffered in far less fortunate times, much like they still do on far less fortunate planets. It was why Tom, or Thomasina (his parents had been expecting a boy) as she was at the time, fled from the Earth to the Zharus. Too often Tom had worried about what would happen if his family came to Zharus and found he had become a man, now, the idea that he was a man was tame compared to him not only being a freak, but one with a real and potent desire to hurt people. One the Exe half was eager to act upon, but Tom was trying his best not to allow.

Tom.Exe stopped to survey the area, hoping to find other Integrates. Instead all he found was kilometers among kilometers of sand and a few qubitite and sarium deposits which were of no use to him that he could think of. He could have tried eating some of the minerals he found, but he didn’t know his new body needed to. Tom.Exe didn’t think he needed food, but his body still had a stomach apparently, and it was rumbling. His throat wasn’t dry, nor did it seem to be able to get dry. A blessing he needed to get through the desert.

“....I’m afraid…” Tom.Exe said to himself, he looked up and yelled. “I’M AFRAID! I CAN’T ACCESS THE NET! I HAVEN’T EATEN IN DAYS! AND I’M A FREAK!”

“You’re also in a lot of trouble! Your stunt could have revealed us you dumbass!” Roared a golden scaled Dragon Integrate who appeared from nowhere. “Do you not realize what could happen if you revealed our kind to the public? Even now the Bosscat’s people are trying to cover up everything you did in Aloha, and Candlejacks like me have been looking everywhere for you!”

“Sorry about that, can I have some water? I just… I’d really like some water… EVEN IF I HAVE TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD!” Tom.Exe grinned wide and pointed his wrist mounted blaster at the dragon. He was scared, and the dragon sounded threatening. Tom was too busy worrying, but Exe had an answer for everything, and that was to kill people. Exe fired at the dragon who literally grabbed his ring shot out of the air and ate it like a donut.

“I figured you’d say something like that. SCOURGE, TAFFENI Attack!” The dragon snapped before pointing his index finger threateningly at the little creepypasta.

From out of nowhere two Integrates appeared, likely having been invisible yet present the whole time. Without access to the net or his communications system working at all he had no way of detecting them. Before Exe could say anything one of the two, a spiky green rat thing in a leather jacket and shades turned into a ball and smashed right into Exe’s face, knocking him back a few steps and causing his optics to reset as he gained his bearings. “What the hell?”

“A creepypasta based Intie? Oooh how fun! You’ll fit right in at Lavender Town” The green thing laughed to himself as he tilted his shades up for a better look. “The name’s Scourge and I’m taking you for a spin! Dash that is!”

Before Exe could respond, Scourge rolled up into a ball and spun towards Exe.

Exe saw this coming from the pun and put his foot down upon the Scourge-ball as it came close before arming his wrist-canon once more.

“You’re not very smart I take it.” He smiled while charging the wrist blaster and blasting the holy hell out of Scourge who was laid on his back, bloodied up in a crater. Exe looking him over with a sinister gaze. “You’re going to die, make peace with that.”

“Fucking fanboys.” Taffeni, a vixen Integrate, more of a petting zoo person than the 90’s toon style being Scourge was. Taffeni was a beautiful orange furred former resident of a mostly asian polis in Laurasia , adorned in a sleeveless qipao. Yellow glowing lines were going up her legs in a flowery pattern, her hair done up in a bun with two pins to keep the shape, she herself sighed looking into the crater. “You okay Scourge?”

“Peachy….” Scourge meekly gave a thumbs up as he waited for his nanites to heal his broken body. “I don’t expect you furry types to know this, but you know talking isn’t exactly..”

“A free action…” Taffeni said yawning, having already used the needle in her hair to stab Exe right in the back of his head hitting a piece of his brain. Causing him to spark up, his software reading various errors. “You Sega Mascot types are nothing but show-offs you know. Check your newsfeed:The 1990’s are over. They’ve been over for a very long time. Try to join the rest of us in the 25th Century.”

“I… am terror…..I AM GOD! How did you...” Exe was unsure how he was still cau

“We studied what footage we managed to cease of your antics is Aloha. I expected that trick, not that it would have worked anyway. I can SENSE technology. You have caused too much property damage and a great deal of harm done. What were you thinking drawing this much attention to yourself during your escape from the city?” Taffeni asked.

“I was just… rolling around… at the speed of sound.. Had no place to go… had to follow my rainbow.” Exe gave in a non-answer.

“The speed of sound? I think you overestimate yourself.” Taffeni pulled back on the needle slightly, taking some pity on the creature that needed to lie to itself to feel less pathetic.

“I think he’s referencing an old song… ow.. Ow.. I’m gonna just… Take a nap for a bit if that’s okay.” Scourge said internally synthesizing chemicals for his wounds.

“You took a direct hit from something fierce. I’ll only slightly judge you for it.” Taffeni spoke with sincerity, it was not her trying to tease. Truly she looked down upon Scourge for getting down by a total n00b.

The dragon approached them and yelled as loud as his surround sound system would allow him to. “Thomas Anderson! You are accused of attempting to reveal Integrate kind to the humans! How do you plead?”

“Not Guilty…” The Tom part of Thomas.Exe was shining through after his defeat at the paws of Taffeni and he felt in a better mood to negotiate. “I just became this thing and… I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t control myself, yet at the same time I’m completely lucid and aware of my actions. Like I’m two people, but also one person.”

The dragon nodded. “Your halves are very opposite… You will learn how to control this during your service.”

“My… Service?” Thomas.Exe wasn’t sure if he should be afraid and beg for mercy, groveling in the Dry Ocean sands or if he should rip Taffeni’s arm off and use it to fight the dragon while bathing and dancing in the blood of the fox. Needless to say, this was a lot of conflicting emotions.

“We are willing to forgive, but imagine some idiot. Especially a rich and famous idiot like yourself was caught on camera rampaging through Aloha like you were. Luckily, it was just the police whom the Marshals will be keeping most quiet.” The dragon took a few steps back and took a deep breath. “My God, you might as well have called a god damn press conference, invited every newsgroup on Zharus from CNN-Fox to Milky Way Daily, and said ‘Hey I’m So-And-So and I am an Integrate!’ Have you any idea how badly that could have gone for us!?!”

Taffeni butted in. “I’m surprised Fritz didn’t order us to straight up kill you!” “Who’s Fritz?!?!” Tom asked meekly, he would curse the name Aristo Crescendoll Enroygall for as long as he lived. Now that he was an Integrate he pondered if the rumors were true and that as long as he lived was going to be a very long time.

“The Bosscat, he can be rather sensible and easy to get along with though. Provided that you don’t piss him off.” The Dragon snorted. “Now… what will your service be…”

“I think I have an idea!” Scourge jumped up, turning into a green ball as he did and then landing right outside the crater with a sinister smile. “For him and the other one.”

“Oh this should be good, coming from the furry in denial.” Taffeni rolled her eyes.

“I AM NOT A FURRY! I AM A MOBIAN! I am a creature of Earth, with a gas sprayed over me to give me a humanoid shape! By the Ancient Walkers! Did you even READ the comic!?!” Scourge actually smashed his glasses in his hand in rage.

“You’re roleplaying an animal turned humanoid? You dumbass, you’re LARPing something you already are! I’m glad I’m from Chakona Space. We have intellectuals there.” Taffeni sighed, missing her denmates already even though she’d only been away from them for a day. Truthfully she had very little patience for anyone who wasn’t one of her many polyamorous lovers, being a rather anti-social creature by nature.

“Why I oughta…” Scourge growled at Taffeni. “...Look… here’s the plan..”

-Three Weeks Later-

A man in a corgi fuser, aptly named “Doge’ was typing up scripts for a comic book he wrote based on the mysteries of Zharus. A bodyguard he had hired escorted him through the Dry Ocean, following a tip that cost him much mental anguish as he had to travel to Cape Nord to receive it.

“You know, you had a lot of nerve coming to Cape Nord. We were less than thrilled about the way you portray us in that bullshit publication of yours. You make us look like mad serial rapists who lose their shit over some tits.. Odin knows how much MU in tourism dollars we lost because of you. If you didn’t have the coordinates to that Alpha Wolf RIDE Camp I’d stomp your ass.” A man in a bear fuser complained. He was armed to the teeth with shoulder mounted gatling guns, a stomach mounted rocket launcher, hip mounted missile launchers, and an assault rifle of gargantuan proportions that he could only lift while in Fuser.

“Well Cape Nord hates women, on a planet where a lot of guys wind up becoming women… Yeah don’t see why people are wary of you. You know negative yelp reviews kinda happen when people like you introduce yourselves by putting a blaster rifle in my face and referring to yourself as Chad, that’s not even in your name.” The man in the corgi fuser said.

“If you’re gonna puss out every time someone puts a gun in your face, you’ll never last in the Dry” The man said with a grimace before looking at his RIDE’s Heads Up Display. “We’re getting close…. Ahh… definitely Alpha Wolf’s sending out… what appears to be… Slenderman?”

“The faceless guy… Yeah it’s on Doge’s screen too.. Kinda spooky really.” The man fused to a corgi said.

“Pah. Something goes wrong and you piss your panties. Lucky you’re not a Cape Norder, you’d never cut it as a REAL man, bro.” The Cape Nord man shook his head left and right in disgust.

“No I just mean it startled me..” The author reassured.

“Oh yes, big man, big man, of course it’s not scary.” Clearly, he had some insecurities of his own as he just couldn’t seem to take five seconds out of his schedule to not taunt everyone he did business with.

“Are you even listening to m…” The man said before realizing he could see in front of him. “Okay the screen is clear now.”

“Yes I see that! Though now there’s an augmented reality image of… Wait.. No it can’t be.” The Cape Nord man said, lifting his facemask. “See nothing… Oh Goddess… it’s you again!”

“That’s right… It’s me. I am, who you don’t think I am. All wrapped up in my evil plan!” It was Tom, Thomas.EXE as he was now known throughout his new enclave of Lavender Town. “So many souls, so little time. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sledge! Open fire!” The Cape Nord man shouted, his RIDE nearly draining his batteries straight down to red, try to throw everything he had at the living nightmare, but it didn’t even phase him.

“...Not scratching his paint job. So much for the big manly Cape Norder”

“Now is not the time!” The Cape Nord man ceased fire and charged up to the beast. Hoping to hit it aside the head with her rifle. Only to phase right through him. “A ghost?!?!”

Thomas.Exe appeared behind him and lifted him to his feet. “A ghost tried to approach me and got wary, asked him a question and he vanished in a second!” He said whispering quietly.

“This isn’t worth it…” The man said in a panic, throwing his rifle to the writer’s feet. “You wanna try? I’m out of here.”

The writer examined the weapon with a smile on his face. “Scary villains, intimidating weapons. I think my next issue will be the greatest yet!”

In the middle of his renter’s thought, Doge turned his and his rider’s neck to face behind only to see a decaying, frowning, bloodied up, yet familiar cartoon mouse. “Mason! Such Creepy, Many Attackers!” The Corgi was programmed mostly to talk like a meme. Something the RIDE himself found irritating.

“Oh right… to quote our misogynist friend. This isn’t worth it.” The writer, who’s name was apparently named Mason, said as he threw the rifle to the ground and skimmed out like a doge out of hell. When Mason got to a safe distance he quickly got back to pondering his latest tall tale.

The cartoon mouse smiled as the two left, going up to Thomas.Exe to give him a high five. “We did it, and with no shots fired from us. As usual.”

“That we did Suicide Mouse, that we did. I wonder why they thought Alpha Camp was out here. They had gone much further than this they'd have gotten to Jurassic Park. Not Alpha Camp. Alpha Camp is a few dozen clicks thataway.” Thomas.Exe pointed off in a random direction. “Here there are dinos all over, it’s a jungle, the wicked wild.”

“Enough with the Sonic puns…” Suicide Mouse groaned, changing into an old 1930’s model car and flying off.”

“Yeah, well let’s head back to Lavender. Jeff just messaged me that he finished another batch of those Sarium Sugarcookies I like so much.” Exe followed, himself on a blue hoverboard

“That fella’s smile creeps me out.” Suicide Mouse shuddered as he remembered the red gummy smile carved into Jeff’s face, teeth visible. It didn’t help that he lacked eyelids, making him look more like a fish than a human, despite him being neither.

“We’re from a Horror Themed Enclave. That’s how it is in the haunted house, mouse..” Exe smiled at the mouse who would have face pawed at the rhyming if only he wasn’t a car right now.

It had been a trying few weeks, but Tom.EXE found a niche that would let the other Integrates overlook the circumstances of his rebirth. He would help scare off any bold adventurers who traveled too far into the Dry. The world couldn’t know about Integrates, not yet, but perhaps they’d settle for the boogeyman.

The Fright of Venars
Preceded by: [[]]
Succeeded by: Intended Side-Effects