User:Erastus/Serving the Sentence - Part 7
Serving the Sentence - Part 7/14
The ranch was actually described by the real estate agent as a "ranchette." That meant there were forty acres, not four hundred or forty thousand. The acreage was divided into a paddock and five pastures as recommended for grazing horses. The long dirt drive was flanked by two of the pastures. It ended in a "parking lot," an area large enough to turn a truck and horse trailer around. Along the right side of the parking lot was a two bedroom house made of logs, which was actually quite well made, with a porch along the front and down one side. The barn had a large central area with five stalls on either side with a hayloft above them and a tack room in the back. A lane lined with trees went from between the house and barn back into the pastures. The ranch was the kind of place where someone with a day job could enjoy horses in the evening and on weekends, but not make a living off them.
In other words, it was ideal in both size and price. It was also ideal in another respect -- the house and barn were reasonably well insulated for Montana winters.
Alas, there were other things that were not ideal. The builder had expected the resident horses to be horses.
Dave found Professor sitting on the porch, enjoying the pleasant June weather. Zane and Piet were around the corner -- where Dave could see them -- offering silent support. "Uh, Professor, may I talk to you?"
"Sure, David."
"I would prefer you call me Dave now."
"Oh? Well. What would you like to talk about, Dave."
"Um, the girls and I --"
"The girls?"
"-- uh, Zane, Piet, Amos --"
"So they are the girls now, are they?"
"Uh, yes sir. They are mares after all."
"Quite. Go on."
"Um, we would like to have some improvements made to the barn."
Dave paused.
Professor prompted, "And those improvements would be..."
"Um, let's see. At the top of the list is, um, five computers with internet access and voice recognition software."
"And you need them because..."
"Because, um, I could continue my studies while confined to this form."
"That would account for one of the five."
"And the others need a computer so their brains don't go soft from boredom."
Piet slowly shook his head.
"And how do we pay for them?" said Professor.
"Um, I'm not sure. Perhaps use education discounts or perhaps we can do some telecommute jobs?"
Piet slowly shook his head again.
"Hmm. I'll have to think about it. You said you had a list of things?"
"Yeah. Um. The next item is the barn door. We can't operate the big barn doors ourselves. Zane is concerned that if there is a fire, we couldn't get ourselves out. It is no problem now as you have been leaving the door open, but it will be a problem this winter."
"Go on."
"For the same reason, we need latches on our stalls that we can operate ourselves. And it would be nice to have similar latches on the pasture gates."
"Anything else?"
"Um. We don't mean any disrespect, Professor, but Zane, um, I mean all of us, are concerned something may happen to you. With the doorknobs you have, we can't come into the house and check on you."
"I doubt you would fit through the door anyway."
"Maybe not, but Piet and Jack can or at least can get in far enough to sniff out a problem."
"Anything else?"
"Once we have Internet satellite or cable, it won't be too much more to also connect that to a television. It, um, might even be cheaper."
"Television? You actually watch that stuff?"
"Yeah," Dave said defensively. "I, um, can't exactly hold a book these days. And to avoid making it look like the TV is for horses, it would look good to have a comfortable old chair there."
"Television, Bah! Though I see your point. Anything else?"
"A clock. I can't exactly, um, wear a watch anymore."
"A clock. Anything else?"
"I think I have only one more. Since our goal is to produce foals, at some point the girls will go into labor. That means we may need to have you summon a vet, maybe even in the middle of the night. We need an intercom between the house and barn with some kind of alarm on it. Piet thinks we should make our end as simple to operate as possible. We can't use a pencil to hold down a talk button and talk at the same time."
"Hmm." Professor thought for a moment, long enough for Dave to start swishing his tail in agitation. Professor got up, went inside, and was back a moment later with his laptop computer. "A person who complains had better be willing to do something about it." He set the laptop on the floor of the porch. After another trip inside, he placed a speakerphone beside the laptop and connected the laptop to it. "Claiming the barn is a fire hazard is a bit vague. I need more detail. It will be your job to research appropriate doors, fasteners, and internet connections and come up with costs."
"You want me to do all this?"
"You're the stallion," said Amos from around the corner.
Dave groaned. He eyed the laptop. "I don't think I can type with hoof or lips."
"Oh, sorry," said Professor. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a pencil. "I think the big eraser on this one will do nicely."
"Telecommuting jobs? Are you out of your mind?" said Piet.
"Calm down!" said Amos, "Don't be so hard on our man."
Piet sighed. "OK. Dave, you do get points for talking to Professor about the state of things around here and you do get points for original thinking. It's just that paleontology can't be done over the internet. We have to see the rocks. We have to pick them up and turn them over and see what is on the other side. We have to feel them with our fingers." She held up a forehoof for emphasis. "No, telecommuting isn't gonna work and I only know paleontology."
"I think our man is right," said Zane. "We need to help out in the finance department."
"But how?" asked Piet.
"I don't know," said Zane.
"Since we can't come up with something using our human brains, can we do something using our horse bodies?" asked Dave.
"You know," said Zane as she pawed the ground, "our man may have something there."
"What do you mean?" asked Amos.
"The Mongols had this thing about never putting any kind of harness on their transformed humans," said Zane.
"How could I forget?" said Piet. "That's what got us into this mess in the first place."
"But does that taboo hold for us?" said Zane. "Think of it another way. Have you ever worn leather? Have you ever played bondage games?" Jack's head popped up over the gate to her stall. "Have you ever intentionally given control of yourself over to another person?"
"This sounds extremely kinky," said Piet, "if not downright dangerous."
"I wouldn't do it with just anybody, only with someone that I trust would never actually harm me. But that act of submission can be a real rush."
Amos chuckled. "I don't think we could do that kind of thing with a human, and I certainly wouldn't want to do it for money."
Zane laughed too. "No, no. Not that. Getting dressed up in tack -- the halter and saddle and such -- might actually be enjoyable. And the submission would come in responding to a rider. What I'm proposing is that we work as a riding club."
Jack's head disappeared behind her stall gate again.
"You had an odd and roundabout way of getting to your point," said Amos.
Piet pondered it a moment. "That just might work. Though we won't be able to talk while we have customers on the grounds." She doodled on the floor with a hoof. "And if we are open to the public, there will no doubt be lots of young girls that would be glad to groom us, a detail that has been lacking of late."
She turned to Dave. "Perhaps you can work with Professor to set it all up."
"Yeah, I know. I'm the stallion." Dave grumbled. He thought for a moment. "I wonder if we can get by with a halter that doesn't have a bit. I'm not too interested in having that thing in my mouth." The city boy had learned a great deal about tack during their stay with Stan.
"I'm sure there are such things," said Zane.
"And what do we do about being the most ungraceful horses around?" asked Piet. "People coming to a riding club do not want clumsy horses."
"Stan mentioned something called dressage and said I might be a natural," said Dave. "If we spend some time learning it, I"m sure we won't look so clumsy."
"So are we agreed?" asked Amos.
"Well, fine!" came the voice from Jack's stall. "But those little girls are not allowed to put bows in my mane!"
Zane said, "Once this riding club is in operation, part of being the stallion is knowing who is approaching and making a reasonable guess as to whether the visitor is friend or foe. That means when the club is open, you position yourself so you can see who is coming and going."
"But what if I'm out on the trail with a customer?"
"Then I guess you can't watch the approach, can you."
"So then why bother?"
Amos answered this one. "It may be more of the symbolism than actual guard duty. There won't be a lot you can do and still make people think we are actual horses. Even so, symbolism may count for a great deal come mating season."
"You've got one strange place here," said the guy from the computer company to Professor. The nametag above his pocket read, "Kyle". He went on to say, "It was strange from the moment I turned into your drive. I can see four horses in the field and it looks like the red Clydesdale is leading the others through the steps of a dance. About the time it hears my engine, the red one leaves the others to their dance and paces me up the drive. Then you ask me to install the dish by the barn and lead the wires into it and have me set up the computers in the stalls. Nobody has asked me to do that before and this is Montana. And the whole time I'm doing it, that red horse is watching every move I make. I couldn't get rid of him. Really strange."
The workers had just left. The new doors for the barn didn't fit. It would take a week for replacements to arrive.
"Sorry girls," said Dave, "I blew it."
"So why didn't you ask for help?" asked Zane.
"Because I'm the stallion and I'm supposed to be in charge!" snapped Dave.
"Being in charge," said Zane in a mild tone, "does not mean doing it all yourself. It also means knowing what your limits are and delegating the task to the person most knowledgeable or most capable for the task."
"So why was I the one to research all the repair work needed? Why wouldn't you let me delegate it all to one of you?"
"Because," Zane said wearily, "even when delegating, the one in charge still needs to know what is going on. And in your case, having you deal with the contractors taught you how to be less timid and how to deal with things that go wrong. You're becoming more of a stallion."
Dave put Zane in charge of selecting tack for the riding club. Since she also wanted Dave to be a better stallion, Zane graciously submitted options and proposals to Dave for review, even while biting her tongue about his tendency to micromanage the whole thing.
Dave was surprised by the variations in halters, saddles, blankets, and even reins. He didn't know so many pieces were involved and that one had to be careful so that they all would fit together. Dave was downright astonished at the cost. All those pieces added up and they had to get five sets. Dave regretted they couldn't buy nice new saddles that matched, but previously owned equipment was so much cheaper. Oh, well. The horses didn't match, why should the saddles?
There were several debates about what type and style would be most comfortable for themselves, best value for cost, and reflect the image (whatever that was) of the club. They were all pleased with the tack when it finally arrived and chose Labor Day weekend as the best time to hold the grand opening of a new small riding club.
"Good afternoon, Stan." Professor was leaning against the open doorway of the barn. Dave had just heard Stan's pickup door slam. "I'm glad you could come over to meet with me. I have a job for you for which you come highly recommended."
Stan appeared in the doorway and shook Professor's hand, grimacing as he did so. "You'll have to excuse my reaction, sir. Whenever my father says those words, it is a task about as tasteful as mucking out the horse stalls."
Professor laid a hand on Stan's shoulder. "I'm afraid there will be some of that, though with these barnbroken horses, there won't be much." He chuckled. "But the job will also be much more." He waived an arm to include the horses. Each one was in its stall, with its head stretched over the gate, watching Stan carefully. "I have decided to put these freeloaders to work." Stan smirked. "And the best way to do that is to turn this little ranch into a riding club. I'd like you to run it for me."
"What do you mean by, 'run it'?"
"Keep the horses groomed and the tack in good shape. Saddle them up for customers. Keep the customers happy. Keep refreshments stocked. Collect the money. Do any advertising necessary. In other words, run the whole thing."
"What kind of pay are we talking about?"
"The horses might quibble with me about this, claiming they will be doing all of the work --" Stan smirked again. "-- but you can keep fifty percent of all the money brought in. The more people who ride, the more money you earn."
"Sounds fair enough," said Stan. "You, um, said I come highly recommended for this job. I haven't run a riding club before, so who gave the recommendation?"
"Dave did. He likes the way you groom him."
"Dave did?" Stan was incredulous. "Dave's a horse! How can he tell you about the way I groom?"
"Remember I said I couldn't tell you where I got these horses until you were old enough to drink?"
"Um, yes, sir."
"If you're going to work here, you need to hear the story. Would you like a Coke? Sorry, I can't offer you anything stronger." Professor indicated two bales of straw he had dragged to the middle of the floor. "Perhaps we had better sit..."
- Dear Mom and Dad,
- Yes, I've been getting your emails, but things have been a bit hectic and strange around here and I've been too busy to reply. I'm writing now as you need to know my change of plans. I've transferred to the University of Montana and I won't be able to come home before the fall semester begins. I've felt I haven't been myself lately, but don't fret. I'm getting a handle on the situation. Physically, I'm feeling as strong as a horse and mentally, I'm learning to deal with the stress of life here.
- I guess I'm feeling contrary enough that I'm going to use a trick that Uncle Nick used to pull. I'll tell you a few different versions of my summer and leave it to you to decide which one is true.
- While in Mongolia, Professor was so impressed with my work that he offered me a position on his staff even while giving me a scholarship to finish my studies here in Bozeman. Unfortunately, I'll be so busy with classes and international travel that I won't be able to come home for holidays or the summer and won't have time to see you if you came to visit.
- While in Mongolia, I ran afoul of the locals who laid a curse on me. The curse turned me into a horse, a beautiful red Clydesdale. I'm now living on Professor's ranch outside Bozeman working as part of a riding club. If you come, I'll be glad to give you a free ride.
- I've dropped out of school entirely. Well, not quite. I mop the floors every evening after the students have gone home. It doesn't pay much but even the janitorial staff here at the university gets free internet access and email accounts. It wouldn't do to visit as I sleep under a different bridge every night.
- Any way you look at it I can still receive email, letters, and care packages through the university.
- Pass on my congratulations to Matt on getting engaged. Suzy sounds like the perfect match for him. I hope the engagement is a long one. If not, my situation here may prevent me from attending the wedding.
- Love,
- Dave
