Ragnarok'd His World

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Ragnarok'd His World

By Jessica Kylie Nichols-Vernon aka HawlSera

Everyone had come out for the funeral, HawlSera had tried to warn them all that magick was real. Many of them had felt guilty for ignoring her warnings that when the rift opened granting the world marvelous new technology that within a year the grey demons would come searching for the strange metals and self-replicating machines that had jump started human technology taking it from 2036 to 2450. HawlSera fell fighting against them, poor woman had actually lead on the frontline equipped with a magic longsword she had enchanted herself with ancient Norse ruins, before she had gone on her one-woman warpath she had said the the Valkyries themselves used weapons of this caliber.

They were at the coast of Lupalia, HawlSera was placed on a funerary boat insisting that since she would be likely to die in battle that she be given a viking funeral.

Most of the gang had been modified to look like their fursonas now. There was JeanDoe who had lead the writing group now an actual doe and with her was Robotech_Master a snow leopardess. The two of them looked rather young, the deer was older than the cat. The deer appeared to be twenty six while the snow leopardess was nineteen, of course their real ages would leave them senior citizens. Everyone in the world now had the technology to make people whatever age they felt like being at that moment in time. They were joined by a young unassumed dragote with beefy arms named Xodiac, a red panda named Xhyz, a rubber fox named Fluffy, a persian cat named Claude, a rabbit dressed in the second fanciest suit who wished only to be called Rabbit, a male snow leopard in regal attire, her widow Fawkes Goode who was sitting upon a two headed fox taur, one head crying while the other comforted the other both were named Kes. Not that there were many dry eyes

Charles Matthias the rat had actually agreed to speak on behalf of HawlSera in lieu of a priest, HawlSera's will had requested that her corpse be surrounded mostly by friends. Age wise Charles was no older than Jean Doe though physically he appeared to be a humble old rodent man, one with brown fur and a handprint over his right eye upon his chin was a beard. Around his waist he carried a bible

"Jessica Kylie Nichols-Vernon, known as HawlSera to the furry fandom and Lady June Goode to her husband Lord Fawkes Goode, King of Lupalia, gave her life to face the Demonic Alien threat that came seeking the goods pilfered from a portal to another world. A gift we thought from you, but was really from Satan. Though we appreciate that you allowed us to benefit." Charles chittered a bit taking a piece of dog wood from his jacket and gnawing it. "Beyond being a war, HawlSera was a writer to those who loved to read, a wife to her husband, and though I've never visited Lupalia before I was flown in by his majesty Lord Fawkes. I mean literally flew in, he turned into a dragon and I came aboard his back it was quite the rush I assure you. Regardless of my ignorance of what the nation of Lupalia is like I rest assured that HawlSera was a marvelous Queen. To this rat however she was not royalty."

"Pick your next words carefully rodent, you best not be making a political statement at my wife's funeral!" Lord Fawkes growled understandably very irate, part of him wanted to pounce on the rodent if only to let off some stress. Had Charles not been a fellow catholic Fawkes may have called for the guard already over this poor choice of words.

"Tensions are high, your majesty." Charles kneeled down being as humble as possible as he clarified his words. "I understand that what I say, especially with the growing animosity between America and Lupalia but I don't care about your taboos, taxes, and tariffs, but to me HawlSera can't be royalty because she is something more important sire. Something she is remembered for far more by everyone here than being a Queen."

Fawkes narrowed his eyes. "And what's that?"

"A dear and well-loved friend who, knowing her, would want us to spend more time eating and drinking, than mourning her." Charles smiled, earning cheers from the crowd who agreed wholey.

"You were definitely one of my wife's dearest friends. She saw Death not as the end, but the next step in a long journey." Fawkes smiled a little wiping his eyes clean. "So in honor of that, let us take the next step in our journeys and make our way to the banquet. I've had my chefs prepare something paleable and five star to all of our diets. Herbivore and Carnivore alike. I hope you brought your appetites, because these are my chefs you KNOW these are literally dishes fit for a King... Well after the send off."

Fawkes walked up to the dock and rubbed his hand over his wife's orange and black striped tigress face before kissing her blue breathless lips softly. "I'll miss you my love... I...." before opening his mouth wide his face morphing and stretching, his jaw elongating as his entire head turned red and his eyes becoming the same color his head being that of a fire dragon's before he breathed fire to burn the boat as it was sent out to sea.

-10 Years Later-

Xodiac the dragote had lived in Lupalia ever since the rift first opened. Lupalia heeding Queen June's instructions had been one of the first to use the technology to upgrade the already existing projects in genetic manipulation preparing for when the aliens came. Not even Lupalia had believed in the alien invasion until their Queen had paid for it. The benefit to being such a quick adopter of Lupalian citizenship meant that the young man could make his form more freakish and not be persecuted for it.

Being a dragote meant that he was a strange critter with the head and torso of a coyote yet the limbs and wings of a dragon, though he had claws unlike his peers they were used more for traction than combat.

Xodiac had a simple job in King Fawkes' Regenerating Forest cutting trees and processing the lumber. Ordinarily this job was done by beavers but Xodiac had quite the big strong manly arms required for some serious lumberjacking. It had been quite an uneventful day until he showed up. A young yellow poison dart frog named Kerig who had been training for the Lupalian Military to serve in the mandatory from 18 to 25 batch of military service for young men, the one who still had problems with his javelin throwing technique he had been practicing when suddenly he let it fly impaling Xodiac through the chest.

"Sorry..." Kerig raised his hand wincing a bit as Xodiac coughed up blood the javelin piercing through his lung. "I'll... I'll get the doctor.. I don't know any healing magick."

Xodiac felt everything getting dark as he fell over into deep sleep, the strange thing was even though he saw darkness he woke up immediately yet it didn't feel like he woke up. The dragote found things even stranger when he was translucent and right next to his physical body like some kind of ghost.

"Okay, sorry it's been a long morning for me. Haven't quite had my coffee yet." Spoke the voice of a dark skinned woman with long red hair adorned in viking style armor if it happened to come in the form of a two piece bikini, a horned helmet, and a long purple cape. "Wait, is this another Near Death thing? I haven't been Mortal in a decade, a javelin through the lungs... is that fatal or a flesh wound?"

"Uhhh... I think it's just a flesh wound.." Xodiac lied afraid that he might have found the end of his rope. This strange viking bikini clad woman was absolutely breathtaking with that fiery red hair, those deep blue eyes, and of course being a heterosexual man he definitely noticed those very ample d-cup breasts.

"I am too beautiful and wealthy for this." The viking sighed as she snapped her fingers, the javelin sliding out of Xodiac's body and the wound healing instantly. "I have no choice but to write you a clean bill of health, if you fall in battle I'll be back."

Xodiac woke up and took in a fresh breathe of air. The grim reaper as hot as she was had been cheated, it was the perfect opportunity to live life to the fullest and be grateful for every second of the glory that was the gift from his mother and father greater than any toy or video game bought for him as a child. The gift of life was his to enjoy this extra time he would cherish for the rest of his time on the mortal coil, and that amount of time was just a few seconds when Xodiac after getting up tripped over an axe and cut his leg off. "Oh fuck!"

The dragote panicked trying to cover the bloodied stump with his paws in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. He had been wearing a grey power armor that looked like a t-shirt and sweatpants with green neon lighting, apparently it was no match for a lumberjack's axe as that leg was gone.

The viking woman returned before the dragote. "Okay there's no Hospital around and you'll bleed out before Kerig gets back. You're coming with me, now your religious affiliation is listed as Norse Viking. Thus Heaven assigned me, the only Valkyrie on staff because the other three reincarnated."

"I'm not a viking..." Xodiac argued.

"Must be a paperwork error, well too late to fix it now." The viking woman shrugged nonchalantly as if this was the most normal thing in the world to her. "Just need to ask some questions to determine where you end up."

"End up?" Xodiac asked a little nervous, not sure he liked how that sounded.

The Valkyrie took out her sword and point to the ground, a fiery pit opened up with various screams and sounds of whips coming out of it.

"I think a friend of mine had a sword like that...." Xodiac squinted looking over the runes of the valkyrie’s blade.

"Save all questions until after the judgement!" The valkyrie snapped with a thunderous yell.

Xodiac walked up to the fiery pit and looked down for only a second before his eyes became overwhelmed with sights unspeakably foul to such an extent that he began to shake and shiver on the ground in a fetal position screaming incoherently until a kick in the face from the valkyrie brought him to his senses.

"Did you fall in battle or to an accident?" The valkyrie asked as she looked over a scroll she materialized out of thin air.

"I was battling a tree. Does that count?" Xodiac asked, he tried to think back to what he saw in the pit but found that his mind had blanked it out.

"Was it a vicious tree?" Asked the valkyrie as she wrote some details down onto the scroll that Xodiac couldn't see.

"Furious...." Xodiac said sarcastically, the valkyrie seemed to buy it though as the fiery vortex closed with her smile.

"Good enough for me, congratulations. You qualify for Valhalla." The valkyrie smiled as she took off her helmet where upon doing so her form burst through with fur, her face reshaped itself to a more feline shape with green eyes, and her barefeet twisted about in what looked painful but the valkyrie didn't seem to suffer or flinch at all. "Xodiac Bellydancer."

"...That's Moonda...ncer..." Xodiac's ears perked up upon remembering that only one person ever called him Bellydancer instead of his proper last name. "HawlSera, is that... Oh my goodness." the dragote looked hard into the valkyrie's eyes flabbergasted that it was his old friend. "HawlSera! You're alive!"

"No, I'm not." HawlSera hugged Xodiac close, her purrbox going off as she scritched down her friend's ears as the two remain embraced in a hug. "But, we're both going to Heaven, so this is a happy moment!"

HawlSera held her paw out before putting two fingers in her mouth and whistling loudly.

“Calling for a Taxi?” Xodiac joked elbowing his old friend trying to get her into the joking mood she had been since the days the two were just roleplayers in an old pre-magick chatroom.

“Yeah, you need to be a valkyrie for at least thirty years before they give you so much as a learner’s permit for celestial travel carriages. It’s a carriage! The pegasus does most of the driving anyway.” The tigress sighed looking at her wrist as a watch forms. “The taxi is always late too, I realize that yes I do actually have all of eternity that’s no excuse for not being punctual and on time. I’ve got people to kill!”

HawlSera rested up against a tree for what seemed like a few seconds. Xodiac thought of what he could do to be entertaining since they didn’t seem to have handheld gmes in the afterlife despite how tantalizing a game of Monster Catcher:Yellow Version sounds. The dragote placed upon HawlSera’s armored shoulder his hand.

“So… what do you do for fun in the… uhh…” Xodiac sighed realizing that although he was with his friend again, this was still the end of the road. Suddenly it was him who needed comforting as now he had to abandon all of his plans for the future, he had understand that he wasn’t going home to his family, and he had to notice an ivory horse’s carriage with a mare made out of what appeared to be the gem sapphire appearing before him in seconds.”

“There you are Sapphire. What took you so long?” HawlSera got up and circled around the mare with an angry look in hers who actually cowered a little to get away from the tigress’ mad glares. “Well?” The tigress asked again looking towards the driver’s seat

The reins of the horse began to sparkle as a in a burst of light a pure black mare anthro with light blue wings and a gold colored horn completely naked and the much to the delight of the blushing dragote. “Wh...who is she?”

“Sapphire the Taxi Horse, at the service to the newly recruited valkyries. So the striped lady can get from here to the spirit world and back even though she hasn’t been dead long enough to be trusted with unabriged access between the worlds of life and death. HawlSera’s trustworthy, but, rules are rules.” The alicorn curtsied towards Xodiac.

“But I thought the horse pulling the cart was Sapphire…” Xodiac was quite confused as he walked up to the horse made of shiny stones and rubbed under her chin inspecting the creature as she moved in a natural and organic matter despite being a creature made out of gems, it even seemed to be breathing. Upon noticing the breathing the Dragote gazed upon his tigress friend once more realizing that her chest hadn’t made the natural movements one makes when they inhale and exhale oxygen, this hadn’t bothered Xodiac before but now that he noticed it was driving him a little crazy with a bit of uncanny valley.

“I’ve been dead since I fell with my rider in the crusades a couple hundred years back, spirits aren’t bound by space and time. We can be in more than one place at one time.” Sapphire explained.

“We’re wasting time! Time passes while we’re on the Mortal Plane! I’m the only valkyrie on duty and you know that. Are you trying to make me look stupid?” HawlSera freaked out, even in life she had always been adept at worrying and had managed to make an art form out of paranoia.

Sapphire wrote HawlSera off as a worry wart and using only her hand beckoned Xodiac onto the carriage. The dragote was feeling most unsure about this, he thought about taking a run for it maybe he’d get to continue living if he did. Yeah, that would work as cool as it was be to see HawlSera if she was the only person who could act as a Grim Reaper than he could potentially have as long of a life as he wanted. All he’d have to do is run the other way and he could live forever.

“Xodiac if you bolt on me I will send you straight to Hell!” HawlSera capitalized on this statement with a massive and vicious roar.

“Eeep!” Xodiac meekly climbed onto the carriage, he must not have been the only one who had this idea.

Sapphire driving herself was quite the sight to behold, to an ordinary set of eyes that didn’t know any better it would have been rather mundane. What was visible here was an alicorn getting rather aggressive with a mount made out of a pretty stones and getting pretty ruthless to “COME ON YOU WORTHLESS WHORE OF A FILLY! PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT! THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS WHY DADDY NEVER LOVED YOU, YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING BITCH CUNT!” she screamed, smacking the mare pulling the cart with all her might. Wounds had appeared on the driver with each strike very visible ones. Xodiac was worried for the beast pulling the carriage until he recalled that Sapphire was both the driver and the mount in two places at once.

The driver had seemed so nice and courteous on the Earth, but now she was striking her mount with such vigor and fury, a mount that happened to be her herself. This had to be either some horrific show put on to scare the dragote even more than his death already had or a sign that Sapphire had some serious issues to work out. “Uhh HawlSera, is she normally like this?”

“Her father blames her for her rider’s death.” HawlSera said calmly, with a blank expression as though this sight was as boring to her as watching paint dry.

“Oh sure, let’s put Stallions and Mares on the same battlefield at the same time. It’s not like we’re wild animals who get into heat or anything… I’m sure we’ll just realize there’s a war going on like humans do!” Sapphire growled.

“You aren’t afraid that she’s going to…. Ya know.. Wreck?” Xodiac didn’t like the ideas of a carriage that had already ascended so far upwards into the air crashing downward.

“We’re already dead, if she did, what’s the worst that could happen?” HawlSera raised an eyebrow silencing any concerns that the dragote had. “Even if you did fall off, gravity doesn’t apply to us anymore. You’d just float there, maybe find yourself a nice soft cloud to lay on while we call Quadruple A…. it’s like Triple A, but we put another A on the beginning for Afterlife.”

Xodiac spent the rest of the trip looking over the side of the carriage, once he realized he was in no danger he looked down upon the mighty towers and castles of Lupalia from up above. Lupalia architecture had two basic ideas behind it, one of them was the King’s love of the Middle Ages and the other was the shining examples it made towards human progress. Lupalia had been the first nation to legalize bodymodding to such an extent that you could no longer be legally classified as human, the first to allow marriages between Anthro Morphs and Humans, and the first to allow shapeshifting. America still had debates whether Morphs and Humans were morally right and if they would corrupt the youth, even though they’d been legal there for a long time and it still doesn’t allow shapeshifters for fear that it would enable identity theft even though quantum ID Scanners had basically eliminated the problem in Canada, Europe, and Lupalia. America was once the land of opportunity, but it just kept letting itself fall behind the times. Even in America’s hayday Lupalia still puts it to shame.

Lupalia was a dream vacation spot for the LARPers of the world as it resembled a vast fantastical kingdom with real magical charms and spells carved into the sides of the Castles and Towers all looking as though they were made of stone, the charms and spells even glew making them look oh so pretty and awe-inspiring at night. It had been downright inspiring, not only because of how wondrous it appeared but because many of the charms were spells to make people find the towers more impressive than they were. The best part was because Lupalia had no longer used Oil, favoring Spiritual Energy instead, the whole nation could light up like a neon rainbow off nothing more or less than the feedback of the people’s daily meditations.

Xodiac turned to HawlSera a question suddenly forming in his mind, HawlSera afterall had been the Queen of Lupalia when she was alive. The tigress too had been looking down at the kingdom with a warm smile, though once she noticed Xodiac looking at her she turned to face the sky resuming a stern cold look. “Your Majesty, Queen HawlSera. Do you miss Lord Fawkes?”

“I told you not to use my title unless you were in my dungeon!” HawlSera narrowed her eyes at Xodiac. “My… memorial… dungeon….” she said recalling that Fawkes had renamed the dungeon after her after she bit the big one, HawlSera was a woman who loved her dungeons.

“You’re dodging my question.” Xodiac pointed out.

“Mmph…” HawlSera folded her arms “I am a valkyrie, a warrior maiden. I can’t be caught pining for home. Even if I helped build the perfect nation with the perfect man in hopes of a perfect life….” The tigress fell to her knees regretting the life she had lost, missing waking up to her husband’s smiling face as his servants brought the two breakfast in bed. “It’s funny, when I was in my early twenties, the world was so cruel to me that I actually wanted to die…. And then when things turned so wonderful, that’s when.... It’s a cruel joke.”

Xodiac placed a hand on HawlSera’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it.”

HawlSera pushed the dragote to the side and glared angrily at him, the sudden change from being upset to being ready to gnaw his face off made him jump quite a bit. “Sapphire, how much farther is Valhalla?”

“We’re here.” Sapphire cheered, HawlSera and Xodiac looked towards the direction she was facing.

A portal had formed made of the clouds in the sky circling around like a typhoon with a bright sphere in the center. Xodiac found the light too blinding to look at it directly, but HawlSera looked right into it with a smile. “We’re definitely here!” HawlSera said with glee, elbowing Xodiac before everything went dark for the dragote.

When Dragote came too he found himself standing in the middle of a barren war-torn field littered with corpses and burnt to a crisp. Xodiac looked near a skeleton blackened with flames that had been adorned with chainmail and very crudely made viking clothing, the chainmail seemed for more with the times than the clothing as it seemed to shine with a magical rainbow glow much like Lupalian armor. The dragote wasn’t quite sure what to make of this as several other corpses were just like this one, but he was wise enough to take the enchanted battle axe that this corpse had held.

Xodiac had not wielded an enchanted weapon since the “Queen’s War” in which HawlSera lost her life even then it hadn’t been one this powerful. The axe in Xodiac’s paws was a pure black wand-like thing with two axe blades one on each side that appeared to be made purely out of fire.

“Well this is a little above my paygrade.” The dragote said to himself giving it a few practice swings noting that because the blade was made entirely of magick it had almost no weight to it whatsoever. Xodiac took the axe in hand and wandered through a wasteland of ruined houses littered with corpses. “This is odd, I thought I was spared Hell.”

Xodiac came to a building that seemed to be completely intact, it looked like some kind of olde timey west saloon with a big sign upfront that read. “The Sacrificed Goat” and had a sign of a goat woman with an arrow through her skull bleed profusely holding up a tankard of mead. The inside of The Sacrificed Goat was exactly what Xodiac expected a bunch of loud Viking men and women, some humans and some morphs, telling each other tales and playing games of chance. A few of the viking men, in particular a wolf with an eyepatch and a human with a glorious long red beard, were flexing seeing who could attract the fanciest broad. The wolf and human were neck and neck bulging out every muscle the male anatomy could feasibly have, the two looking like 90’s comic book characters at this point. The two of them had been fighting over a very curvy peacock morph with amazing plumage.

“You’re both very impressive, fighting over little old me like that.” Giggled the peacock. “I could take both of you at the same time, I mean we are all playing for the same team here.”

“What do you mean by that?” Asked the red bearded human.

“Yeah, I’m not gay if that’s what you’re implying.” Raised the eyebrow of the wolf.

“Wait… seriously?” Laughed the Peacock. “You do know it’s only the male peacocks that have the tail feathers right? I’m a guy. I swear this happens to me all the time.”

Xodiac had quite the chuckle looking at the two men’s faces turning bright red.

“YOU TRAITOROUS LITTLE WENCH!” Howled the wolf, immediately pulling out a spear to the peacock’s neck. “I’ll strike you down right now!”

“Uh oh..” The dragote charged forward with his axe cleaving the wolf in two across the X Axis wasting no time at all. “Peacock Boy, are you alright?”

“As fine as I’ll ever be.” Giggled the peacock, his hand in the bearded human’s as he rubbed up to the well muscled chest of the norse bisexual. “I didn’t really need the help, but thanks anyway friend.”

The human and the peacock both left, trying to find someplace more private and comfortable for a spot of manfun.

Xodiac scratched his head and took a seat at the bar only to feel a scraping down his back upon doing so. Once he turned around he saw the upper torso of the wolf he cleaved in half.

“Kind of a bit of overreaction, I was just going to stab that faggot!” The wolf growled. “Not like it’d hurt that much…”

“AHHH!!!!! ZOMBIE! KILL IT, KILL IT!” Xodiac screeched, flaying his lava axe around wildly managing to hit everything but the wolf. Not that anyone minded, there was a rhino whose arm he took off who just shrugged and reattached the arm, the only other things he hit were items that repaired themselves instantly.

“Well someone hasn’t been dead very long…” The Wolf shook his head as he re-connected himself to the legs he had left on the floor.

Xodiac began to hum to himself trying to ignore the wolf towering over him with his warm breath bearing down his neck. “One Ginger Ale please….” he said meekly to a cow morph behind the table, a very heavyset woman with a visibly bloated and juicey udder. “Uhh how much is that?”

“We don’t use money in Valhalla.” The cow woman snorted turning around to pour the ginger ale into a flask for Xodiac.

“That axe you used to cut me in two is pretty interesting. The last time a friend of mine lost a fight he left the axe on his corpse. I hope you didn’t take that thing off of it before he had a chance to find it again.” The wolf bit down hard on Xodiac’s ear causing the poor guy to jump.

Xodiac began to shake in his seat as he reached for his weapon. “I found it fair and square… finder’s keepers!”

“Wrong answer!” The wolf jumped back and smashed his spear through Xodiac’s skull, bits of his exploded brain matter landing in the ginger ale just as it was being delivered to him.

“Are you serious?” The cow grumbled frustrated, this has been the fifth time today someone was slain before she could finish pouring the drink. In frustration she threw the flask at the wolf’s face, shattering it as the wolf licked his lips. The wolf hadn’t tried ginger ale before though he was quite the fan.

Things went dark for Xodiac once more, but not for as long as when he had first entered Valhalla. This time he was in a quiet town that looked far more modern, almost like Lupalia, only with more of a viking flavor. It was night now, HawlSera was here as well getting dropped off by Sapphire as the tigress looked over a scroll. “Alright everyone who needed to die today is dead, with the minor exception of….” the tigress looked up and into the direction of an approaching dragote. “Oh hi Xodiac. I should have figured you’d managed to get wasted in the Battlegrounds on your first day.”

“What happened?” Xodiac looked around not sure how he got here.

“You were killed by an opponent in the battlegrounds, all your inventory was dropped and you appeared on the resting grounds where to can replenish your weaponry and rest up until you wish to go out once more.” HawlSera smiled looking up at the sky. “It’s kind of like a giant VR MMO, admittedly it’d be more impressive if Virtual Valhalla Venture 3:Ragnarok Your World wasn’t an exact carbon copy. Well here you never have to stop playing, so there’s that.”

“I see, so why did you look like that random black chick when we were on Earth.”

“Because if you recognized me you might have given me bullshit answers to my questions and snuck your way up here thinking I’d go easy on you if I found out you were lying.” HawlSera yawned, her bones aching after a long day of escorting the dead. “It’s getting late, would you like to join me in my hall? Time doesn’t pass in Dead Worlds so we can basically play video games for all eternity if we wanted, and I picked up the new Cartoon Kart Racer game while I was out.”

“I don’t know… I kind of left a dangerous Lava Axe in the paws of a crazy homophobe.” Xodiac’s conscience spoke up, he had the power to stop that wolf from doing something insane and by golly if had the power he ought to act.

“And? No permanent damage can be done by anyone to anyone else here. We’re dead afteral.” HawlSera smiled, a little too candid of that fact for Xodiac’s tastes but no matter how unpleasant a scenario is one does get used to it. “Besides I have refreshments.”

“Oh!” Xodiac’s eyes lit up, he had been rather looking forward to that ginger ale he ordered. “Awesome! I’m parched.”

HawlSera stepped forward excited to hear of this though it only took one step for her to realize her bag was a little light, immediately she turned around to Sapphire’s Taxi having left something there. The tigress stopped realizing how rude she was being and pointed a mighty finger to a big blue fortress with an orange and black striped door and a bridge made out of a metallic rainbow material. “Head on in if you want, I just realized I left the game on the carriage. There should be some sandwiches on a magically replenishing table, I hope you’re a fan of Roast Beef. There should also be a few cups of this rather delightful Orange Juice/Ginger Ale combination that a former roommate of mine showed me on Earth.”

Xodiac’s heart skipped a bit upon hearing that, roast beef, how incredible, dying does take a lot out of you. Ginger Ale with Orange Juice didn’t sound like a good combination, but Xodiac would try anything once. So the dragote was off running into the fortress. Once inside there was a large arrow reading “Welcome Guests” pointing towards a room adorned with various artifacts left behind by the valkyries before HawlSera all labeled with helpful labels. The Crystal Horn of Gabriel recovered by Lady Svetlana The Swift, The Sword of Forgetfullness recovered by…. Someone, Xodiac couldn’t quite retain that information for some reason.

The dragote continued to look over various artifacts though at this point he was looking for the refreshment table. “Frost Giant’s Toothpick… Cute name for a javelin, the Helmet Of Head Protection, redundant name. Ah The Chalice Of New Recruits. That must be the drink she was talking about, no sandwiches though.” Xodiac remarked noting the chalice was full of an orange liquid that did smell kind of gingery. “Bottoms up”

By the time HawlSera managed to get back into the fortress Xodiac had downed every drop of the chalice. The tigress found the dragote beating the side of the table with the chalice turned over, his tongue over the cup hoping to get a drop. “Oh come on, that was barely anything. I thought you were self-refilling.”

“....XODIAC! WHAT THE HELL!?!?! DID YOU REALLY DRINK FROM THAT!?!?!” HawlSera was horrified and practically wanted to beat her own skull against the wall.

“Yeah. I think the table’s broken it’s not refilling my drink.”

“Damn it, I meant to fix the forcefield.” HawlSera buried her fluffy face into her gauntleted paws. “That’s the Chalice Of New Recruits…. Not the refreshment table. The refreshment table is in the Afterliving Quarters, on the table in the back…. Where it says Valkyries only…. Right okay I could have placed that better.”

“Well sorry, there was the big arrow sitting here. What’s the harm done, it wasn’t even very good….” Xodiac paused for a second his throat feeling a little strange, as he rubbed it he noted that he could not find his Adam’s Apple. “My voice sounds off….”

“That’s the essence of the valkyrie. There’s only supposed to be enough in it for four women to have a little bit and we can’t empty my ¼ or the ¾ you’ve dranken from it till one of us reincarnates like the other three did. As if being the future President of the United States is really THAT big of a step up. THANKS MALISA!” HawlSera grumbled placing the tablet back onto the table and grabbing Xodiac by the arm, guiding him to the real refreshments table. “Do you know what this means for us?”

“...Uhh.. no…” Xodiac’s voice became even more feminine sounding as he brought a roast beef sandwich to his mouth, he went to take a bite only to drop the sandwich in the shock of his waistline shrinking all the size going straight to his hips. The explosion of his buttocks’ size tearing his pants asunder and practically forcing him to the ground, another roast beef sandwich appeared on the table to replace the one he dropped.

“It means you’re a valkyrie with the beauty and strength of three women!” HawlSera snarled, her eyes burning sharply into Xodiac’s. “And now I have to train you to do the work of three women!”

“You mean men right…” Xodiac laughed nervously and in sheer denial, his hair bursting from his skull long and yet strangely well groomed. A little too long for Xodiac’s taste as it went done to his rear.

“No, not at all.” HawlSera put her paw to her rather expansive chest. “A Valkyrie’s Pride is in her bosom, and you have a lot of pride!”

“What do you mean by….” Xodiac got his answer in the form of his chest rounding out and becoming more sensitive, the pure boy’s heart nearly giving out as it just kept blowing up in size until she was three times as well busted as the tigress. The dragote’s cheeks turned red as his, well, considering he could no longer feel the presence of Mr. Happy, her may be more accurate, her chest now jiggled with the slightest of stimuli. Xodiac could couldn’t keep her hands off herself. “Oh come on, I don’t even like them this size.”

“Tough luck sister Xodiac, I mean, Xoie, but your training starts now! Acting as a grim reaper people may challenge you for additional lifetime, since they can name any game of their choosing I need to teach you a skill passed down in my family from generation to generation!” HawlSera stood proudly reaching into her purse for a shiny trinket.

“What… what’s that exactly?” Xoie wasn’t feeling really up to all of this.

“The Art Of Kart!” HawlSera placed on the couch the case to her new Kart Racer game, already placing the disc into her game console. “This shall be more brutal than you anticipate. Now, do you want the Prankster Demon? Cause I’ll take the Lizard Woman if you want him.”

“....I wish I were alive….” Xoie blushed harder, but ultimately accepted her responsibility and sat down next to HawlSera. “You can have the Prankster.. I’ll take….” Xoie looked to the side feeling like a bigger goof than when she accidentally signed up for those Boudir Boost classes. “...The...Princess...”