Text Of A Two-Page Note Found Next To The Body Of A Gray Vixen Morph

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(a story by Viqsi)

(The following text was presented on a note consisting of two pawwritten pages that was discovered next to a young gray vixen morph's body lying inside a ruined house.)
[\\ indicates scribbled-out text. {} indicates blurred and unreadable text]

November 17, 20xx                                to those who find me
                                       becky is at: <address deleted>
To Becky:                                make sure she gets this.
                                              she deserves to know.
If you're reading this, then you already know what I've done.

I know your opinions on this sort of thing, and so I'm pretty sure you're
not going to, like, cry or anything. \But\ \So I'm wi\ I kinda think that's
actually a good thing. It's better that people don't cry about these sorts
of things; I don't want to think that I've hurt people by my final
selfishness.

Heh. Selfishness. I remember your ... kinda unique approach to that word.
Like it's a virtue, or something. Y'know, I could almost have believed
that, until the day my family - my original family, that is - got taken
away from me.

\I\ it just wasn't fair. that's still all I can think of. But I know you
know that already, so there isn't much point in going into it again.
\Raving\ Rantin{*****} and again about how it just Was Not Fair, how the
unive{***********}rily decided to remove them just 'cause they didn't think
like me about one silly little window to my personality.

I wanted to get even with them. I mean, "them" as in, like, whoever's
running this fucked-up world. Whoever decided so arbitrarily to make such a
decision that would destroy lives like this. I'm pretty sure you remember
me being so stressed 'round that time... well, that's why.

'course, once again I have to ultimately accept that there's nothing I can
do. that I'm powerless. Again. Fucking *powerless*. goddamn well *SUCKS*.

but what can I do?

I want my family back. They didn't deserve to vanis{*}ike they did. They
were Good People. They enriched my life. They made life worthwhile, worth
living. And yet they're vaporized somehow, and just because none of them
were discontent with \who\ what they were. It's just not fair.

I want to see them again so badly...

I hope that what I'm going to be doing will let me do that.

<next page>

I've \come\ gone home, sorta. I'm at my parents' old house, broken down
though it is, sitting at the dining room table I know so well \(\...it's
so beaten up now, which is just sad... Mom would never have let it get into
this state. Well, stuff would get on it, but *scratch* the *table*? Never!
But it's badly cracked now 'cause of the ceiling falling in, and the window
is letting in air 'cause some asshole prob'ly tossed a rock in through the
window, just to be an asshole.

But this place... it's so ...representative of what my life has been since
that happened. Memories of places and things that were, while not exactly
Paradise, were at least adequate and fun, now ruined. Because they're gone.

They're *gone*. They're not coming back anytime soon, either, I don't
think. I've waited so long for them to come back but they haven't. I doubt
the universe is going to let me bring them back. It just seems to love to
torture me.

Instant karma writ large. "You want yourself to be fuzzy? You gots to lose
most of the people that make your life worthwhile." 

ohgeez. I don't mean that to look down on you, or anyone else in the
surrogate family; you guys are wonderful, more than I could have ever asked
for. You guys are the reason why I've been able to keep up for as long as I
have.

But I have to face it for real now. I simply cannot live without my family.
Either family. The one you're in, or the one that's vanished.

I've been with you guys for a few years now, and it's been fun sometimes,
but I miss my other family far far too much. I just can't bear it any
longer.

I wonder if I'll see them when I do this. If not, at least I'll no longer
be torn between them, 'cause I'm sure if they're there I'll be happy for a
while and then want to come back Here, and of course that's not likely to
happen.

sigh{}




i just want to see them again.



give everybody a hug for me and tell them I love them. i'm sorry I couldn't
do it myself.


sleep well.

-anna
always your little sister


(The subject's body was found on the floor of what appeared to be a ruined dining room. The subject was slumped, as though she had reached unconsciousness suddenly. Next to her were several bottles of old world "sleeping pills", some scattered on the ground. The note was found underneath the vixen's paw.

Investigation of the area and the body appeared to reveal that the vixen had forced her way into the house by means of a glass back porch and a door within same to a living room which adjoined the dining room in which her body lay. There were indications that she had walked all throughout the house for a while. There were also several spots in the dust that followed her path; the conclusion from this is that she was perhaps reminiscing about something and crying as she went through the house.

Cause of death was apparently by ingesting a very large number of the old world "sleeping pills", most likely in order to commit suicide.)

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