Erastus: Replacing a lost story

2011-07-25T01:47:51Z

Replacing a lost story

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{{title|name= Serving the Sentence - Part 9/14|author=Erastus Centaur|user=Erastus}}

Two men appeared on an Indian Summer day in mid November. Their
pickup was about ten years old and had numerous small dings all over
it. The bottom edges of the doors were just getting serious about
rust. The men were clean and well groomed, but their clothes looked
worn -- holes in the jackets and rips in the jeans.

The taller one selected Dave as his mount for the day, his partner
chose Piet. They paid Stan in cash and were soon heading down the
drive and along the road.

The men were silent until they were past the edge of the property.
The shorter one broke the silence, "You've got a plan for this
place, don't you, Fred."

"Hmm?"

"Otherwise you wouldn't have spent our scarce resources for a horse
ride."

Dave wiggled his ears to let Piet know he was listening.

"Yeah," said Fred in an easy manner, "Kyle told me the owner of this
place bought five computers along with network boxes and cables. I
figure we can come back tonight and clean them out. He said he knew
where we could unload 'em. Make a couple grand on it."

"So why spend money on the horsies?"

"Well, Rick, part of it is to get the horses used to us so they
won't make trouble later --"

"But they'll be in the barn. We'll be heading to the house."

"-- and part of it is I like horses. Didn't Kyle tell you anything
about me when he suggested me as a partner?"

"Yeah, he did. He just didn't mention you were a horse nut."

"Then he left out the most important part."

"So how we gonna do this job?"

"I checked that the professor who lives here is on a field trip so
there shouldn't be anyone in the house. The stableboy will likely
leave at sunset to go home to his mama for his supper. So after we
have our own supper, we come back and lift those computers."

"You saved enough money for our supper, didn't you?"

"Yes, I saved enough money for our supper."

Dave had to smile to himself at the mocking tone of voice.

The two men turned to idle chatter, which Dave listened to just to
be sure there were no more important details. Even while he listened
he did his best to enjoy the nice weather while it lasted. Most of
the leaves were off the trees, but the land had a golden glow about it.

After the two men climbed into the beat up pickup and eased on down
the drive and after Stan had gone home Dave said, "Listen up,
girls." He paused to wait for Amos and Zane to stop talking.
"Today's customers heard from the computer dealer in town that the
professor owns five computers. They intend to come back this evening
to steal them. I think we need to do our part to nab a couple bad
guys. We'll have a few advantages on our side. One, they think the
computers are in the house, not out here with us. Two, we outnumber
them five to two. Three, they don't know we're on to them."

"We ''know'' that, Dave," said Jack.

"You just shush," said Amos. "Our stallion is taking charge. So what
if he is stating the obvious."

"Here's what we'll do," said Dave. "Amos, you stay by the phone and
call the police when they come."

"Excuse me, Dave," said Zane, "I don't think the police will come
just because some bad guys drive in. Besides, we really can't tell
the police that we overheard them talking."

"Your point is?" asked Dave.

"We have to wait until they do something criminal. Fortunately, just
getting the door open is enough for a charge of breaking and
entering."

"Oh," said Dave. "Makes sense. Then we only need to keep them in the
house until the police arrive." He thought about it a moment. "But
won't the police want to talk to the person that called them?"

"Nah. Police get anonymous tips all the time. It will be the police
who are the witnesses to the crime."

"Then we're clear," said Dave. "Back to the plan. Here's what we'll
do..."

When Dave was done, Piet said, "You know, it might even be fun to
talk to them."

"And give ourselves away?" asked Dave.

"Who's going to believe them when they claim horses talked to them?"

Dave chuckled.

Zane said, "I'm not so sure. They may want to take revenge on the
talking horses once they're out of jail."

"No problem," said Amos. "By the time they get back to us, we'll be
back to human."

"I just thought of something," said Zane. "They know we will be
here. It's a good idea not to eat anything they offer as a way of a
treat. All kinds of things might have been added to it."

"Very good point," said Dave. "Any more comments or questions?"
There were none. "Let's take our positions."

It was more than two hours in a breeze that was getting downright
cold before the battered pickup came up the drive with its lights
off. Dave wasn't worried about them hitting the fence as the sodium
light on the barn gave off plenty of light. The two men got out of
the pickup leaving the doors open to avoid the sound of closing
them, even though no human was close enough to hear. They made their way to the house.

Once they got halfway there, Dave tried to look like he was ambling
along and just happened by and wanted to greet his rider.

"Well, hello there Dave," said Fred. "I didn't expect you to be out
here in the dark." He reached out a hand to pet Dave on the nose,
which Dave allowed. Fred then did exactly what Zane had expected; he
pulled some apple slices out of his pocket.

Though they were very tempting, Dave ignored the treat and pulled
back a step. "Wow," said Fred. "That is the first time I have ever
seen a horse refuse some apple."

He reached out and petted Dave on the nose again before proceeding
to the door. Dave followed them onto the porch. It took Rick only a
minute to pick the lock. As soon as he turned the knob, Dave flagged
his tail several times.

Amos, who had been standing in the doorway of the barn with a pencil
in her mouth, walked over to the speakerphone and tapped out 9-1-1
then dropped the pencil. When the connection was complete she calmly
said, "Hi, There is a robbery in progress here." She gave the
location. When the dispatcher asked for a name, she said, "I'd like
to stay anonymous."

The thieves opened the door. Fred took off his hat and waived it at
Dave and said, "Shoo!" Dave didn't move.

The two men very carefully eased themselves in through the door in
in the same way that a person would try to slip in while making sure
the dog stayed outside. Dave found their efforts amusing but kept
quiet.

Once inside, the thieves turned on the lights and began looking
around for five computers.

Dave operated the door latch with his lips, glad that he had
convinced Professor such non-standard handles were a good idea. He
stuck his head and neck through the open door. Getting his shoulders
through would be a bit of a squeeze, but at the moment, that was the
point. Dave followed the sound of footsteps through the house.

Zane, from her position in the side yard, watched through the
windows as the men wandered from room to room, turning on lights
as they went.

It didn't take the men long to see that the computers were not in
the house, or at least not in plain sight. They also couldn't find
the nest of cables to indicate a computer inside a desk. Time to cut
their losses.

As the men turned off the lights as they returned to the main door,
Zane flagged her tail to signal Piet who was at the door off the
kitchen.

The thieves found their way quite completely blocked by Dave. "You
latched the door, didn't you?" said Fred.

"Yes, of course I did," said Rick. "I'm not some idiot."

Fred took off his hat again, waived it in Dave's face and hollered,
"Shoo!" Dave didn't budge. He yelled a few more times getting quite
close to Dave's face.

Dave lunged at the hat, grabbed it in his teeth, yanked it out of
Fred's grasp, and flung it to the floor.

Both men stopped, startled.

"That's quite enough of that!" said Dave.

The men's eyes bugged out and their mouths dropped open.

"And no you won't find five computers in this house," said Dave.
"All of them are in the barn for the horses to use, right where they
should be."

The men turned and fled through the house to the kitchen door, not
bothering to turn on the lights along the way. In the dark and in
their haste it took several moments to figure out how to work the
door's lock. They finally flung the door open but found Piet's head in the way. Piet carefully and
deliberately pushed the men back into the kitchen until she filled
the doorway in the same manner as Dave.

The two men were too surprised to protest.

"Hey Dave!" said Piet, shouting to make sure Dave at the other end
of the house could hear her.

"Yeah!" said Dave, just as loud.

"How soon until the police get here?"

"Well," said Dave, "I reckon no more than ten minutes."

"Do you think these thieves will get a lighter sentence if they
snitch on their informant?"

"Probably. It would be worth a try."

"Sounds good," said Piet. "Dave, wasn't Kyle the one that installed
our systems out at the barn?"

"Sure was."

"And these two losers were sent to the house? Hmm. Sounds like a
double cross to me."

"That it does," said Dave.

In a quieter voice, Piet said to the thieves. "You guys might as
well have a seat until the police get here. Make yourselves
comfortable. You might even find a beer in the fridge."

It was only eight minutes before the police arrived. The driver
muttered to his partner as their headlights swept over the house,
"These guys must be fools to let the horses out, then leave the
doors open in November to let the horses into the house."

Dave backed out of the door when he heard the squad car stop. He
stayed on the porch until the police led the two men out. On the way
by, one cop said, "They'll probably try an insanity defense with the
way these guys are yammering about horses that talk."

Once the thieves were in the car with one cop, the other came around
to lock the doors and round up Dave and Piet, who went docilely.
Zane had already slipped back to her stall.

{{Separator|stars}}

"Dave, what do you know about horse breeding?" asked Zane. It was a
blustery November morning, the kind that is just right for keeping
the internet humming. There weren't going to be any riding club customers.

"I suppose what everyone knows," said Dave.

"And that is?"

"Um, mating season each spring, probably May. A foal born nine or
ten months later at the end of winter."

"You've got a curse on you and you don't check out the specifics on
how to rid yourself of it?" snarled Zane.

"Please, Zane, don't be so hard on our man," said Amos. She turned
to Dave, "It seems we keep forgetting you don't have your degree
yet. What year have you finished?"

"Junior."

"And what classes are you taking online right now?"

"You tutor me every evening, Amos. You should know."

"Humor me."

"Well, um, it's rather difficult to do a science lab right now, so
I'm studying Shakespeare's Plays and Comparative Religions."

Jack chuckled. "Real useful."

"Shush, Jack!" said Amos. "Don't mind her," she said to Dave. "In
other words, you haven't yet taken the senior level paleontology
classes."

"Yeah," said Dave. "Why do you ask?"

"Because it is in the senior year that you get deep into such things
as verification. How is it you know something? Can you trust it? If
you're going to make it as a paleontologist, you don't want to base
your research on common knowledge because you will be wasting your
time. Your advisor or your colleagues will throw it out. You have to
verify what you know.

"And now you have to get out from under a curse. The rules are
simple. Produce offspring. Wean them. Don't have another pregnancy
in progress. But can you answer a simple question: How long after a
mare gives birth does she go into heat again?"

"I don't know. But why should it matter?"

"It may matter very much. If she goes into heat before she is done
weaning, she may be pregnant again before the curse can be broken.
That means she'll have to endure life as a horse for another year.
And if you did your part as stallion, it would be another year for
you as well."

Dave's eyes got big. "I, uh, guess I need to start a class in horse
breeding."

"I suspect," said Amos with a wink, "that Zane brought up the topic
because her browsing led her to something useful."

"That I did," said Zane. "It took some digging, but I found the
webpages for the University of Missouri School of Agriculture. For
some reason, these things aren't found through a standard search
engine."

"So what did you learn?" asked Dave.

"That we need to clear up several of your misconceptions."

"Somehow I knew that was coming back around to me."

"First of all, mating season doesn't start in May. A mare can go
into heat as early as mid March. Second, it isn't a one-shot deal. A
mare will cycle into heat every three to four weeks after that."

"That's a relief," said Jack. "I'd hate to have to wait a whole year
if our ''man'' here," her sarcasm was obvious, "wasn't man enough for
the job."

"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem," said Amos. "The curse
laid on us made us horses primed for breeding. I'm sure we will all
be quite fertile."

"To put your mind at rest, Jack," said Zane, "it says here that Dave
will be able to produce about five ounces a hit, containing about 6
billion little guys. He'll be able to produce enough hits to keep
fifty mares happy -- and there will only be four of us."

"The most impressive male of any species and it's not me," muttered
Jack.

"Actually, the stats for whales are more impressive," said Amos.

Zane continued, "The sperm will live for about twenty-four to forty-eight hours. The
egg survives for about six hours after being released."

"In other words, Dave," said Piet, "to improve our chances, you'll
need to load us up at least once a day for the whole week we're in
heat." She winked.

Amos glanced at Dave and noticed his eyes. "Are we embarrassing you
with all this talk?"

"Um, yeah."

"Your wimp factor kicking in again? You should be delighted in all
this," said Jack.

"Oh shush," said Amos. "Dave, are you a virgin?"

Dave visibly gulped. "Yeah."

Amos turned to Jack and glared. "Not a word from you!"

Jack glared back.

"And you are uncomfortable," said Amos to Dave, "because you want to
save yourself for a future wife, such as Erin, and you don't like
the idea of sleeping around."

Dave could only nod.

Amos glared at Jack for a moment, then turned to Dave again. "I
admire your intentions, Dave, but, unfortunately, with this curse
hanging over us you don't have the luxury."

Amos let Dave think about it a while, then said, "Anything else,
Zane?"

"Yeah. Gestation is about twenty-five days short of a year."

Piet said, "Ouch! That's a long time to be so uncomfortable!"

"I bet you are remembering your wife trying to get out of a chair in
her last month."

"Strange that we were just talking about whales!"

"You're thinking in human terms. We have four legs to support the
extra weight and that weight is proportionally less."

Dave said, "I don't mean to be intrusive Piet, but you hadn't said
anything about a having a wife. Does she know about you now? What
about your child?"

Piet said, "The short version is we were divorced. She got custody
then remarried. I haven't been able to see my boy in about a
decade."

There was silence for a few moments before Jack asked, "How long
after birth will the little brats stop using us as their meal ticket
and let us return to human?"

"According to this website," said Zane, "a foal will naturally stop
going to its mother after six months."

"First you spoil our day by saying it will take nearly a year before
the brats pop out," said Jack. "Then you do it again by saying they
don't let go for another half year. And it is still four months
before mating season even begins!"

"Cut the yammering," said Zane. "I'm not done yet. That was the
natural way. We can safely start 'encouraging' them after four
months. That gets you back to human two months sooner."

"Saving two months is not much of a comfort when I've still got
nineteen months as a horse! Changing back today isn't too soon."

Zane turned back to her computer. "For us, this will be an important
detail. A mare will go back into heat about three weeks after giving
birth."

Amos nodded. "That's long before a foal is weaned. We'll have to do
something to keep from being trapped in the curse."

"But don't couples simply abstain when they don't want kids?" asked
Dave. "We can do the same."

"Oh man, listen to that! A male willing to give up sex!" said Jack.

"Actually, very few humans use abstinence as a form of birth
control," said Zane. "And even fewer use it successfully. The sexual
urge is just too strong. And since horses pump out pheromones, I'm
sure the urge is much stronger."

"So what about contraceptives -- pills and such?"

"I doubt there has been much research into a pill for horses," said
Zane. "And I'm sure there aren't horse condoms." Jack snickered.
"That's because surgery is relatively easy. It doesn't make sense
for us to have surgery just a few months before the curse ends. And
I doubt you want to become a gelding." Jack gave a hearty laugh. "It
might ruin your chances with Erin once you're human." Dave backed up
until his tail brushed the back of his stall.

"I think we're back to abstinence," said Amos. "And the only
abstinence that works is enforced. Dave, we're going to have to get
you out of here once the foals are born."

"But you're in heat only one week a month," said Dave.

"It is unlikely all four of us will be in heat the same week," said Zane.

A moment later Zane said, "Damn, my internet search froze. Are the rest of you getting through?"

"My computer seems to be running just fine," said Piet. "Let me try New York Times."

"No connection here," said Amos.

Jack and Dave had nothing either. Piet said, "Mine timed out. Hmm. If it has affected all of us…"

Dave said, "I'm on it. Ah. I found the number for the place that installed the dish." He ambled over to the speakerphone. "Hi, this is Dave." He gave the address. "It looks like our internet connection has gone out. Can you send someone to repair it? Tomorrow, late afternoon? Sounds good. Thanks."

Amos looked at Zane and nodded.

{{Separator|stars}}

Professor brought an artificial Christmas tree to the barn in early
December. Stan happily decorated the tree and placed more
decorations around the barn. The riding club was essentially closed,
though not officially. Stan still came by every day to feed and
groom his charges and, if necessary, plow the driveway for
Professor.

Stan was amused when six small gifts were waiting for him on
Christmas Eve. After he opened them, he went to each horse in turn
to give his thanks and a scratch between the ears. Professor was
content with just a handshake.

Stan, of course, stayed home on Christmas Day.

Not long after his usual breakfast time, Professor came into the
barn pulling a child's wagon full of presents.

In spite of Professor's attempts, it was a somber day. Professor had
to open each present, which included a horse blanket from Professor
himself for each of them and a passport wallet for Dave from his
parents. They had each gotten Professor something -- scarf, sweater,
and other such barn clothing -- from their riding club earnings, but
then had to ask Professor to write a check. It made them all feel
very dependent.

It was not the kind of Christmas Dave had looked forward to as a
child, and his childhood was only a few short years before. Once
Professor had opened the last gift and had slipped a blanket on each
of them, Dave quietly left the group and stood staring out the
window of his stall, occasionally rubbing his nose against the old
dinosaur toy on the windowsill. There wasn't even snow on the
ground.

After the third sigh, Amos crowded into the stall with Dave. She
simply stood there for a long moment, offering comfort with her
presence, then said, "How's my stallion doing?"

"Oh, Amos! I don't know if I can go through with this. I just don't
think I can be the stallion you need me to be. I wish I were back in
Cincinnati with Mom and Dad and Matt."

"Dave," Amos said gently. "You're doing just fine."

"Am I?"

"I guess I had better answer each of your comments. Can you go
through with this? Let's talk of the alternative. Do you want to
kill yourself? You might find it very difficult to do without hands,
though the Buffalo Jump near Three Forks could serve the purpose.
But this is a temporary problem. It has an end. You will either
decide to remain a horse or you will return to human. Killing
yourself it too permanent a solution."

Dave's voice was quiet. "No, I wasn't thinking of killing myself."

"Then you go through with it. A lot of life is just getting through
it. Now for the next question. Can you be the stallion we need?
Think about all that you've accomplished over the last six months
and about all you've learned. Compare your first call to a
contractor with a month ago when the satellite dish went out. You
aren't timid anymore."

"You're just saying that."

"Am I? Think about it."

Dave was quiet.

"Now I can't get you to Cincinnati today, but that was the reason
why phones were invented."

It took only a few moments for Professor to get the speakerphone
into Dave's stall and to dial the number. All the others moved away
as the phone rang to give Dave a feeling of privacy. Even stallions
needed Mom on occasion.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mom."

"David! It's so good to hear your voice! Where are you?"

"I'm in Bozeman. I've missed you..."

{{Separator|stars}}

When Stan returned the next day Amos whispered, "Dave is feeling rather blue right now. May I suggest you call Erin and offer a late Christmas gift of a free winter ride?"

Stan nodded, "I'm on it."

[[User:Erastus/Serving the Sentence - Part 8|Part 8]] * Part 9 *
[[User:Erastus/Serving the Sentence - Part 10|Part 10]]

User:Erastus/Serving the Sentence - Part 9 - Revision history

Erastus: Replacing a lost story