Bryan: remove a glitchy end-of-file character

2007-09-06T03:03:29Z

remove a glitchy end-of-file character

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:03, 5 September 2007
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	brother shaking his head in mock reprimand. He smiled and grabbed		brother shaking his head in mock reprimand. He smiled and grabbed
	an oatmeal cookie off the serving tray and handed it to him. "And		an oatmeal cookie off the serving tray and handed it to him. "And
	to think," he grinned, "you kept telling me this was a curse."�		to think," he grinned, "you kept telling me this was a curse."

Eirik: New page: Category:Story Category:Eirik Category:Animal {{DEFAULTSORT:Care and Feeding}} {{title|name=Care and Feeding|user=Eirik|author=Eirik}} Kyle rolled his eyes. "Oh Barry! Come on...

2007-09-04T06:34:01Z

New page: Category:Story Category:Eirik Category:Animal {{DEFAULTSORT:Care and Feeding}} {{title|name=Care and Feeding|user=Eirik|author=Eirik}} Kyle rolled his eyes. "Oh Barry! Come on...

New page

[[Category:Story]] [[Category:Eirik]] [[Category:Animal]] {{DEFAULTSORT:Care and Feeding}}
{{title|name=Care and Feeding|user=Eirik|author=Eirik}}
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Oh Barry! Come on! They won't bite you."

Barry looked at his brother askance. "Are you so sure of that?
These are wild animals after all."

Kyle leaned back in his lounge chair and smiled. "These are
hardly wild anymore. Toni and I have been feeding them for years
now."

Barry gave in and reached the bit of dog food down to the raccoon
sniffing a few feet away. Hesitantly, it walked up and took the
bit of food, retreating to the edge of the lights on the backyard
deck to eat.

Toni giggled. "See?" She sipped at her wine. "They're the perfect
pets, really. We get to feed and look at them, but we don't have
to take them to the vet, register them or even feed them all the
time. Only when we want to."

Carla, Barry's wife, bundled up a little more from the cold. The
backyard BBQ at Kyle and Toni's had been nice until the sun went
down, but the temperature was a bit too cold for her.
Unfortunately, the Kyle and Toni had insisted on showing off
their 'pets'. "Shouldn't we go inside?" she asked.

Kyle shook his head. "Oh no! You have to see these guys. This is
just a couple of them. On a nice night like this," he gestured to
the forest lit by a bright full moon, "we get upwards of twenty
or thirty at the backyard feeding station. If we're out here, a
bunch will eat right from out hands."

"How can you afford to feed that many?" asked Barry.

Toni giggled again. She'd had perhaps a little too much to drink.
"It's easy, we just buy cheap dog food. They eat most of it, and
the birds clean up anything that's left."

Carla shivered, but smiled. "We have a couple raccoons out near
out place. Maybe we'll start doing that, too. They seem so
sweet..."

As she said it, they watched the raccoon that Barry had fed
turning the large piece of the dog food over and over in his hand
as if getting ready to eat it. Suddenly, he stopped and slowly
raised it up to his eye level, examining it critically. The two
couple exchanged amused glances. None of them had ever seen a
raccoon do that before, but they were all different. Then they
heard it.

"All right! That does it!" yelled the raccoon as he threw the
piece of food away. He looked at the other raccoons near him who
had all stopped eating and had joined the humans in looking at
him in shock. "If none of you are going to tell them, then I
guess ''I'' will!"

Now the raccoon had taken a very human-like pose, standing nearly
straight on his haunches and putting his paws to his hips. "I'm
sick and tired of this crap! Night after night, you come out here
with that damn white and blue bag and pour it onto the ground,
and we're all supposed to be so grateful." He sneered at Barry.
"You cheap slimeball. You think that raccoon's are stupid just
because we got a little fur and a tail? Huh? You think that we
worship you 'noble humans'?" He spit onto the deck. "Ptooey!"

As he spoke, he started getting taller and taller. His fur slowly
retracted. He was already a full three feet tall. "You know, the
only reason that we stick around is that we like this area, even
if the property values have dropped since you humans moved in!"

He huffed and started pacing, growing as he moved. "We eat that
generic crap because you filled in the pond we *used* to eat at
for a shopping center. A shopping center!! You know that there's
a Starbucks where my old log used to be? Talk about insult to
injury!"

The two couples were growing paler and paler, and it had nothing
to do with the chill in the air. The raccoon was now a full five
feet high and was beginning to look more human every second as he
ranted. But despite their terror, or perhaps because of it, none
of them could move.

Th raccoon continued. "Well, this stops here and now, because I'm
giving you people a shopping list." He began counting off on his
fingers as they pinked up. "We want seafood, cookies, candy,
nuts, fruit and stuff like that."

Toni looked nearly ready to pass out, even if she hadn't been
drinking. "But-- But---"

He glared at her as his muzzle shrank. "But what? Too expensive
or not good for us? Look lady, we don't care. You have any idea
how fast a forest of raccoons can disassemble a house?" He paused
a moment. "Well, neither do I. But I'm sure that I can get fifty
or sixty of my closest friends to give it a try." Now completely
human, the former raccoon leaned against the resin outdoor table
and gritted his teeth. "Got it?"

It was too much for them to take. The four of them started
running for the sliding glass door. The raccoon shouted after
them, "And I've got a message from the birds! They want you to
refill that cheap birdfeeder of yours more often!!" By the time
that he finished the sentence, he heard a pair of car engines
roar to life and peel out of the driveway.

The once raccoon and now man sat proudly in the chair occupied
moments before by Kyle. He grabbed a handful of cocktail peanuts
and popped them in his mouth before looking down at the shocked
faces of his raccoon compatriots.

He smiled and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on! I didn't say anything
that you all wouldn't have said. Besides, it was fun to scare the
yuppies for once, wasn't it?" He smiled wider. "Besides, I can
only do this one night a month anyway. Why not actually get some
benefit from it?"

Jumping from the plastic chair, he walked to the slider and
bowed, holding a hand out. "Let's say we see what they've been
hiding in the pantry from us?"

The furred critters on the deck looked at each other a moment and
then chattered in amusement. Their change of heart was clear as
they bounded though the glass door.

The raccoon-turned-man sauntered back over to the table and sat
down, finishing off the left over food from the humans BBQ
dinner. He wouldn't have that much time as a human. It lasted
only a short time around the full moon. It had happened every
month since he was bitten by that human a couple years ago.

He head a "tsk-tsk" sound from below. Looking down, he found his
brother shaking his head in mock reprimand. He smiled and grabbed
an oatmeal cookie off the serving tray and handed it to him. "And
to think," he grinned, "you kept telling me this was a curse."�

User:Eirik/Care and Feeding - Revision history

Bryan: remove a glitchy end-of-file character

Eirik: New page: Category:Story Category:Eirik Category:Animal {{DEFAULTSORT:Care and Feeding}} {{title|name=Care and Feeding|user=Eirik|author=Eirik}} Kyle rolled his eyes. "Oh Barry! Come on...